Ynot, if you don't mind me asking: How were the assets split up? Did you retain any of your prior obligations? Are children involved?
No children, they had just flown the coop as my daughter had just finished college. I did spend four years paying out over a $1000 a month putting her thru school, with no help from my ex.
Admittedly I was very stupid going thru this process. I really imagined there was a possibility of reconciliation so I left a LOT on the table.
Basically the only shared debt was the mortgage. That was paid off when the house sold. We split the equity 50/50.
I took some furniture, she took some furniture. The rest we sold. We used that money to pay expenses involved with the break up - cleaning, dumpster, etc.
I had a car payment, that I kept along with the car. She had a furniture bill that she kept a long with the couch.
I had a business debt that I kept and paid off after the divorce.
She had a 401k with about $15,000 that I agreed not to include in the settlement. She also had a 1 year old paid in full car with about $20,000 in equity that I also left out of the settlement.
We were married for 24 years and had so few assets to argue about that it sort of made me sick to think of how little I actually had.
In the end I think we both walked away with about $12,500. No further obligations towards each other. No alimony and no child support.
I had a small savings account. I ended up giving her $1500 to get an apartment because she told me it was only temporary and I believed her. I took the remaining $2500 and spent it setting up my own apartment.
I later found out that she had spent all of the money that she was supposed to have been setting aside for our daughter's wedding.
So we split mine and our assets, she took her assets and we parted company. I kick myself sometimes for not exercising my legal rights and having her include the 401k and her car in the settlement. She would have ended up paying me money that was rightfully mine as she wouldn't have had either had I not been funding everything else. But at least now I can hold my head high and know that it won't be my fault when/if she ends up on the street due to her own financial stupidity. And my kids will never be able to say I didn't bend over backwards to try to make it work.
After she left, I closed my business. I took a job working for a client. I hated it. I made enough to pay my living expenses, but little else. So I left. Went back out on my own. I now make as I was making before. But have a much smaller foot print and enjoy spending my money as I see fit on what I want to spend it on.
Sorry for the rambling.