to take advantage of having me still under the roof of the marital home, by using that as leverage to extort money from me, on top of the support I already pay, is a new low even I did not expect from my POS ex.
I dont use the word "hate" very often. But right now, in the situation I am in living with her, while trying to move out and get the repairs done on this house I am moving into,,,,,,shes using my being in the house still, as a means to get what she wants. If I disagree with her, "You can move out tomorrow, then"
If I disagree with her going out every weekend like a *****, "Then I want you OUT by tomorrow!!!"
If I dont pay up, when she conceives of and brings upon herself a "new" household bill,, then I can , you guessed it,, "get out by tomorrow!!!"
And they use the word "fair" like its a concept they know something about.
Never underestimate, just how completely sh!tty an ex can be, nor how fcking low they will stoop...
I dont mean to imply that I dont want to pay a fair share of the bills, I mean, I am still living there, and do of course feel obligated to, its the things on top of those bills that I neither had any say in, or involvement in, that affects her bottom line.
shoo: I was in the same situation, living with ex until house sold. He was blatant about his affair, hid nothing, tortured me about my dog, about the bills anything he could think of to hurt me.
Well, here I am 2 months later and what a relief! This will happen to you too. And it's good that you have reached this point, it will be that much easier to step foot out the door, never to return as you once were and step into your new home and new life.
Hang in there, even if it's by a nail, you'll get there. You're getting there right now! I made it and so can you.
What is with this " I want you out"
I think you must have the patience of a saint. I would have gone absolutely mental and thrown her out. Oh wait. I did :P
I know that you couldn't but jeez. Can you believe you loved her?
I really am dying to know how your house going. Keep us updated!
Well, its been another hiccup in the house. Mind you, two weeks ago 10/3 was when the "leak" developed, which covered the upstairs 6x6 utility room floor in water, and which the valve for the hot water supply to the clothes washer was leaking behind the wall down the inside of the wall onto the inside ceiling of the kitchen downstairs.
I shut off the water supply that night that feeds from outstide to inside of the house. The following friday 10/7, I visited the house to see the damage.
Water was sitting about a 10mm deep in the utility room on the floor still in the utility room. The carpet at the door was soaked.
The downstairs kitchen ceiling had split at a drywall seam and was hanging down about eight cm. and water stains were obviously extensive in that ceiling. At this time, the upstairs area had a pretty bad smell to it, with that water standing there for all that time. The listing agent representing the seller didnt get out there until that wednesday to shut off the main water line out side.
BUT, I heard that following monday, that the seller, a certain BANK which is known for its horrible foreclosure practices and recent addition of fees to its debit card users, had put out a request for bids from contractors to do the repairs. Good sign right?
It appeared they were entertaining the idea of repairing the damages at their cost, being I am the only buyer on the house as it is right now, with a contract in on it.
So another week has gone by, I have had to file an extension for the "inspection period" so that they can have time to fix it and the contract doesnt expire.
Yesterday, I get an email from my real estate agent saying their listing agent sent him an email asking if the "buyer would be willing to accept a credit on the price of the house in lieu of repairs".
Of course, our answer was No, the entire thing is being financed, and the appraisal will not meet the lenders requirements for financing and the deal with fall thru, with damage like that.
,,,,so more b.s., more time goes on, more time with the ex.....
So,, Im pretty discouraged. Ive been trying to get into this house for a month and a half now, Ive looked at other houses, and all of them are similarly priced, but complete dumps needing huge amounts of repairs.
Hearing my ex ask me , "have you heard anything yet?" about it, every day, and having to pay her money for the household bills, on top of what has started coming out of my paychecks for support, because in her words thats "fair", and I really cant argue, if I want a roof over my head,,, I am beginning to think I need to either go find another house and start the process all over again, or just suck it up and move into a fking apartment of which I wouldnt dare have my daughter come visit any of them around this area, due to the heavy crime and gang activity.
I am limited by funds, limited by area becuase of the divorce decree, and having one nightmare of a time getting my hopes up, and then dashed, and then up again, and then dashed.
I havent been able to focus on work, I am turning 40 on Friday, my car hit the 140K mile mark, and its been more than once that Ive looked up in the sky and asked "WHERE ARE YOU????"
I dont even know if I want to move into that house anymore with all the cr@p thats gone on with it. As if I should take all this as a sign that I should keep looking. I just cant freaking stand to be with my ex anymore. Its a choice between moving somewhere thats now questionably smart to, or starting over thus, spending more months with the ex and truly, honestly, suffering like Ive never felt before in my life. I have no patience, if I did have patience it was lost long ago, and now its some sort of crazy resolve to never allow my ex to see me move into some piece of sh!t house or apartment. But again, I am dependent on her to not say, "get out now".
I guess I can still see, a time when things were better so long ago, that I had room in my heart for her. But honestly I think a serious mental situation has presented itself within her. If not bipolarism or some sort of similar extreme mood swings, I dont know what it is.
Its left me with nothing good to feel towards her, and thats not a good situation.
I thought the other day, how easily all of these problems could just go away, and I wouldnt have to take care of that slim thread that holds everything dangerously close to disaster.
But then my daughter wraps her arms around me, and I find the will to keep going again.
Shoo- hang in there! I know it's tuff. I can tell you over the last year and a half, while I contemplated D, I've missed out on four very nice places to live. They come and they go. And now that I'm moving ahead with D, I found a fabulous duplex just a 1/2 mile from the marital home. It's the perfect size, decent price, and great location near my kids school. So what I'm saying is, maybe you're right about the signs against this house. Maybe you should drop it. Don't fret though, something will show up that meets your needs. Don't settle for a crappy apartment or dumpy house. Keep looking!
And I can directly relate to living with the WW. I'm stuck too until we have a custody order in place. Each night lying in bed with her is excrutiating. I don't know how much more I can hang over the edge of the mattress without falling out during the night.
About the mental state- can relate there too. STBXW restarted therapy last week. All that came out of it was she 'realized' that I have bullied her and held things over her head our entire marriage to instill fear and control her. WTF!!! Where is that coming from? Is it some kind of blameshifting her mind is doing to justify what she's done? And why is the counselor letting her go down that road instead of addressing her faults and what she's done to our family? Sighhhh.
Keep you head & spirits up the best you can. Somewhere, sometime we BS have to get some good news or a way forward that isn't dripping in $hit.