Crossroads III: The Launch - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 79 (permalink) Old 09-19-2016, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

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"over the shoulder boulder holders."



Sorry, I haven't heard that one since my Dad passed.
Whatcha xpekt frum sumone in da Sowth.....

We have different definitions for many words. Example: Relative humidity: The sweat rolling

down yer back when yur sleeepun wit ur sister.

Nope... can't make this stuff up!


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #47 of 79 (permalink) Old 09-26-2016, 09:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

It never ceases to amaze me what can come out of a chat with the guys.

DC brought over take out and a movie. Everything was set-up as planned. Light petting as the movie started. Phone rings. Hangover Crew guy.... we all knew something was up, hadn't been around as much the last year, especially since right after the Super Bowl. He had his DDay. He asked to come over.... was very shook up. DC was very understanding... even offered to leave before he came. She gave us space to talk and only stuck her head in to ask if we needed anything to drink. After he left, no bytching or complaining. -He's one of your close friends, you're there for them. I find that admirable. Lets me know when you say you will be there for someone, you mean it.- That meant a lot to me....

This is the same person who had a meltdown less than two weeks ago.... Other weird stuff.... was doing my fetish, push mowing the huge yard and there she was... ice cold water, peck on the lips, went back inside. Didn't ask her to do it. She was at my desk doing weekly number crunching due the next morning, most of the evening. Only one other person did that..... Scheduled myself to do my Round-Up run one last time before Fall...only do it once more before Spring. Got everything ready... takes a couple hours if you want to do it right. Ibedamned... already done. WTH? VM'd her "Did you happen to Round-Up the stuff over here?" -Yeah... remember I had that meeting in xxx and I didn't have to return to work? It's the day I came to your place and put the steaks in your freezer in the garage.- Damn..... just damn.

Now for the weird stuff...same color eyes as WC.... exact same type hair (when we met), very similar mannerisms in and out of the bedroom. When I do something comical -you ain't gots a brain in yo head-, -if yo momma could see you now- as I was trying on a shirt I hadn't worn in many years and she was stretching it and I leaned forward and spread my arms out like in Titanic. -You're the first person I have ever met who can be so deep philosophical and a few minutes later, act like a goofy teenager- Best definition possible.

There are certain moments... when you are having sex.... it's like a freeze frame. Something like when I had sex with 1st love last year... aka the tortured soul look. I flashed back pre-WC, pre-2nd or 1st love. I made a post on her last year "Snowflakes '88"


Finally got to show the Corvette to her dad. Shocker -How much- "Ain't for sale." -Name a price- "Okay.... $100k lol" -Schit in ten years you probably will get that- "Grew up in that car, the memories mean more to me than the make, model and condition" -One weekend I'll get DC and W to do a shopping trip and I'll come down, take this baby out-

So far.... pretty freaking good. DCs known me away from school pretty well over the last six months. She hasn't run yet LOL. But she did mention she would like to do something about the wallpaper in the bathroom. As pop would say.... "might as well put her name on the mailbox too, she ain't going anywhere."

Okay... I have previously stated the things that WC has done since DDay were.... well... utter BSC. Well... she hit a new low. The sad part is... it did not surprise me. I don't keep up with WCs actions unless she messages me. To want to keep up would mean I still cared about her.... Cared LOL... I still hold to the IDGAF approach from early 2013. A Hangover Crew friend sent me an email stating -this is a cause you may want to get behind LMFAO- The HC guy knows I do give what I can to certain causes...... WC has set up a GoFundMe page to raise money so she can come home. Claimed she needed $1k.... she was up to $800. Some poor sap gave her $600something. Never ceases to amaze me.... and for nearly four years... I talked to the BSC of the BSC peeps. Something's going to happen.... feel it.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #48 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-03-2016, 03:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

It's October! Yayyy... Wait.... that means Halloween is coming. Ohhhh damn. Yeah, DC was true to her word. Dragged me about 200 miles to a city with one streetlight but has one of the largest pumpkin festivals around. All day... pumpkins, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff, seasonings... aka a place I would never frequent. Funny thing happened.... had a great time. DC didn't drag me in every place, wasn't upset if I just stood back while she detailed everything she considered buying, and the fact I didn't have the "someone please shoot me" look on my face. It was just nice spending the day with her, even if, it wasn't a car show, gun show, or a card show. -You took a day to come with me to something I love to do. Never complained, actually seemed as if you had a great time. When I'm in (she paused) ... really like a guy, I want to do things with him as much as I can- Yeah... she's falling. So am I though....

Stopped at a place who had buffet on way back home. Waitress asked if we needed more napkins.... "She does, sometimes she is a messy eater." Comical yes.... DC wasn't offended. Ended up... she was messy (soup). When we were about finished... waitress asked if we were through at the buffet -He's not... he wants to eat enough to force you into bankruptcy.- Yes.... I thought it was hilarious. Driving back.... we talked but it seemed like it was stuff that only M couples or live-in couples would bring up. *Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do* Bet the farm I am.... they are matching.... Arrived at my place, fixed coffee, changed into comfy clothes.... About the time coffee was done, DC made a cup for me (mine is unique... as pop used to say *you like a little coffee with your cream*), brought it to me in sleep shirt and panties. It was the look... guys, you know what I'm getting at. Not all dolled up.... just "her." Our "love tanks" as spoken in the famous book.... seem to be pretty equal. We had deviled eggs at 430AM. For those who aren't familiar with me... I only crave deviled eggs after sex.

DC fixed lasagna before she left the next afternoon. Two huge bowels / dishes or WETF you call it. Enough to feed eight-ten guys. DC had to do things at her place, get ready for work week, and knew it was a guy's afternoon / evening. We (Hangover Crew) watched the last day of MLBs pennant race, watched Vin Scully's last game, and watched the night game.... my Steelers vs. Chiefs. I walked her to her car as she wanted to leave before the guys started piling in.... -Stop giving me that damn look. It's hard enough dealing with your sad puppy dog eyes but add your blue eyes in.... makes me want to stay- It was part acting as in, I wanted the guy's night but... I didn't want her to go either.

Received a call from ER.... mom was admitted. How, when, why, I dunno. We've not spoke in two months. I listened to the VM.... I feared it may have been a *you want to say something before she dies, best get your a$$ up here now* Yes I am NC / 180 and honestly can never see us being sociable again but.... still mom. It was just a repeat of back in May.... mom being confused, throwing schit fits and them wanting me to come up and de-escalate mom. Been down that road, didn't go in May, ain't now. It did bother me mom was in ER. I messaged DC.... kinda hated to bother her. DC was very soothing, listened and empathized with both the fact it is my mom and how I had to cut ties with her. THAT meant a lot... to ME. Tickled me belly when she did say -Why don't they call her sister? Doesn't she take more schit than a septic company- See why I like her LOL

Received confirmation my xBiL wants to come finish getting his stored stuff in my back yard. He got the first load back in the spring. It is in the area known for snakes. I wouldn't go in there in July either. But I heard from a birdie WC will be temporarily housing with xBiL, until she raises enough poor-mouth funds to return to my city. *Care if I come get the rest of my stuff?* "Not at all.... you and xxxx (half-brother) coming?" *Yeah... may bring another to help get it all* "Okay. No surprises though right?" No response. Two responses when they arrive.... friendly, cordial, willing to help them move things any way I can. Or a devious plot only a sociopath could devise. Either way... I was warned ahead of time. I would prefer the first way but I am well-prepared for the other. All depends upon if WC happens to be the "other hired hand."

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #49 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-15-2016, 12:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

-Can I call you?- "Why?" -I'm really sad. xxx just died and it's momma's birthday. You know I will always miss her- "Miss her too I always will, called her 2nd mom for a reason. Could really have used her soft touch through my mom's fall from grace." <pause> "Yet if you recall some four years ago you fired me as your husband. I am employed by another place now." This was followed by a text blow up and I just blocked her. I was her therapist for many years... not anymore. You'd think after four years.... wait, she's just BSC. No other way to say it.


Still received calls from hospital about mom. One was a cardio. Not sure why she was calling me, they have all the records. Maybe they were getting ready to release her and she needed a ride. I'm guessing they called her anger dump recipient. Finally got my hair chopped. Had let it grow out to point it had a curl at one end and I would comb it like the skater dudes back in the 1980s. DC finally asked me to get a hair cut. I asked her to get a Brazilian wax. She said she would think about it. Then I pontificated... nice for while, then when it grows out, my face will look like I fell off my bike on the way to school. Did get mine cut... like it. If it takes me over five minutes to fix my hair, ballcap or just let it go as it is. When it was long, DC wanted to try something with it, I was game. When she pulled out a curling iron... no, no, no. -Why?- "It actually damages the hair and the follicles." DC looked at me really weird. What can I say... the XW was a stylist at some time.


The haircut. I have used the same female for the last couple years. Actually used her / co-workers way back in the 1980s. Being a teen at the time, yes by all means, I had a crush on her. She is nine years older than me. She knew XW since they both did hair and were close in age. I can still remember her some 30 years ago. She was about 24.... long hair, mega-hottie.... and there was me LOL a dorky 15 y / o with 41 chest hairs and peach fuzz. I did ask her out... told her I could get into the clubs too (fake ID), we could dance the night away. I'm sure she got many laughs out of that then. Course now...it's different, I'm a close friend of her kid brother, her dad passed and her mom is in bad health. Times sure change.... sure she is still a mega-hottie for her age but I try not to view it in that way. If not.... she would easily be one of those MILFs everyone talks about. I did tell DC about my crush on her. -That's 30 years ago and not now right?- She told me hers... her senior history teacher. Said he looked like John Cusack. Oooook... must be a girl thing.


Her parents came down Saturday. We ate at her place and they (DC / her mom) were going to look for crafts afterwards and her dad and I were going to ride by the house and tinker with the Corvette. DC was nervous as a ho in church. This has to be a female thing.... has to be. DC put out a seven course meal.... for four people.... WHY! Her dad dotes on her mom. They seem to be a really happy couple... no put-ons or fake presentations (like UGs). Later on in the afternoon.... -why didn't you pull out mom's chair, why didn't you compliment her on her hair, why didn't you take her coat, why didn't you.....- "1-It's 75 outside, WTF she wearing a coat, (small thing around shoulders, not sure what that is, help me out RedSonja), 2-I'm sorry but I don't sleep with your mom, 3-That's your dad's job, not mine." -I'm not sure if you're ready for a real relationship- "Feeling's mutual."


I had written more. I'll leave it at this.... maybe one day she will grow up. I seriously doubt I will be around to see it.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #50 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-15-2016, 02:47 AM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

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When she pulled out a curling iron... no, no, no

Girl comes at guy with curing iron ... , now that's scary. What's next hairspray?


(small thing around shoulders, not sure what that is, help me out RedSonja)

It's called a "shrug" in the common vernacular, a "capelet" if you are in high society, or a "wrap" in the south. Aren't you glad you have me as a fashion consultant?

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post #51 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-15-2016, 03:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

LMAO ...... the humor was much needed tonight. Thank you.
Capelet? Is that similar to the Montagues? If memory serves, she wanted to do a Billy Idol 1970s UK punk thing.

Back to the drawing board.... live n learn

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #52 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-16-2016, 06:32 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

This isn't a vent.... just a WTFE. Watched the UT-Bama game today. Had two friends over. Ended up the partial Hangover Crew ended up being the Depression Crew. It wasn't too bad. They knew my story. I really was into DC. Saw something.... course my gut warned me a good while back. But doesn't your gut always warn you. Guess age difference plays a factor, we being almost 20 years apart. How would have Chuck 1996 handled this? Been a rough week all around. Missing someone does not mean you want them back, it just means you are in mourning. Reminds me a lot of 1994 as we watched the game.

Late summer August 1994, 2nd love and I split up "for the last time." We were together the next two summers but it never was anything more than FWB. My HS running buddy, a week later told me he and his W were getting a D. I was his best man at the wedding. We had two mutual friends who were also in the same boat. We sure were a miserable bunch. Course being the age we were, we partied and had a "good 'ol time." Looking back... we had a blast, we just didn't know it yet.

I'm hoping the same thing will turn out this time. Course a lot less "craziness" as over two decades ago. One guy I have tried numerous times to get an account here, won't. He's read some of the stories I sent him, being close in situations as his. He's a nice guy, too nice. Same thing with the other except he's just nice. If he feels he is being slighted, he acts accordingly. Sad part for me is... I get to hear his play by play, not that I don't care to (he's been there for me), he just second guesses himself. He's tried to get an account here but it will not sign him up. I'm wary of having him sign up for one here being I'd like to stay a member.

I'd like to think I am giving them the right advice. Always said it's much easier giving advice on others than acting on your own. Did my stomach knot up when I had to tell DC I don't think it's gonna work? Oh yeah... didn't sleep that night. Course my stomach knotted up when I told UG it was over and when I decided it can never go back with WC. In both cases, I made the right decision. I feel the same with DC.

Thankfully I can close this on another "Can you Believe this Schit" moments, starring WC. After talking to my xBiL about a time he will finish getting his stuff, he shows me a link. Not even two weeks after her "soulmate" died, WC had a Match profile up. The lost child continues to run.....

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #53 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-16-2016, 08:16 AM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Sorry, Chuck.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #54 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-16-2016, 09:05 AM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

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Sorry, Chuck.
Ditto. Hang in there.
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post #55 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-20-2016, 06:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

I am very thankful mom was finally sent for a psychological evaluation. Maybe she can finally receive the help she needs. I had screamed this since last fall. Until a doctor steps in, it usually falls on deaf ears. I can assume her sister is helping her and I am grateful of that. She can take her actions, I refuse to. Which brings me to a point which was a catalyst in me ending thing with DC.

-I took care of my grandmother when she was dying and she called me everything in the book and I took it. You owe it to your mother to do the same- I'm sorry but calling me out after what I went through... not no, not he!! no but he!! Gdamn no. You may deal with it but I don't. I gave 110% and left everything on the field. no regrets.

After the break-up, although it was not in a conventional way, I had the pleasure of my Steelers once again, lose to a team on the road they should have easily handled. A friend offered to run by and cheer me up with drink and chat, as I had done previous for the friend. We rode the backroads as we sang some old Bon Jovi songs. Came back home and got ready to crash. Little past midnight... ding dong goes the doorbell.

Take a guess.... who it was. Take a guess.... what her first question was. Yes it was a female friend's car. Every time she assumed we were screwing, every time she assumed we were laying in bed talking about our futures together, every time she assumed we had been chatting behind her back for months, every time she reminded me of her coming over (out of her way) and screwing me (see charity case), every time she spend over $3.11 on me, every time she accused me of having females who hit like on a post I made on FB, wanting to sleep with me, every time she went out of her way for me (her choice, covert way of saying I never did for her).... what ever I had felt for her slowly vanished. I lost a lot of respect for her that night.

But I do not regret the ride we rode one damn bit. DC re-instated the fact.... there is something out there, something which rivaled or surpassed what I experienced before. No matter what she does in the future, I will always be thankful for that. He!! might even make for a good book in 2026, wrote one about two kids meet for four days on vacation, surely I could handle this. It would be great to think we would be like the two leads in About Last Night (1986) and run into each other four months later. But the Sunday night midnight visit virtually killed it.

Some people are just meant to come into your life for a short time but leave lasting impressions. Just like the two that "just didn't work out" in 1991, or the one not long before I met the XW in 1997.


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #56 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-24-2016, 07:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Went to see mom today for the first time since our blow outs in late July / early August. She was placed at a psychiatric facility for about five days. After her insurance ran out, they placed her in a "low end" hospital.. for people with TNCare. I would give whatever help I could to the nurses and doctors but from afar. After talking with a doctor last week, I knew things had went downhill fast. They asked for my consent to do a GI test on her stomach........ Last year, a doctor found a very small place on her stomach and wanted to run more tests (November '15), mom refused any type of further testing. Doctor even got back on the phone with me, stressing the importance. I stressed it to mom, still refused.

There is a large tumor in her stomach and they did a biopsy. I already know what it is.... sure as the Sun will rise Friday morning. This is why she has trouble eating and throwing up. Also she has asphyxiated pneumonia. Same thing her mother had near her passing. Mom hasn't the strength for surgery by no means. Her breathing is labored but not like summer 2015. After her triple by-pass I noticed her breathing was the best I had heard it in ...at least 20-25 years. But she never stopped smoking... 2-3 packs a day.

I almost hated to wake her. The nurses had just given her a bath and I waited outside for awhile.... seeing mom get a bath is something I don't care to see for quite a few reasons. Her declined state was a bit worse than what I expected. Talking seemed to take effort... I planned to stay an hour or so but I knew she was being labored. She said I love you.... as did I. She asked will I see her more, "As long as you aren't mad at me" -That stuff does not matter anymore- In other words, whatever hate and anger she had... it's either gone or she hasn't the fight anymore. She can't remember much... she has regressed back to a childhood state. I talked about xxxx and xxxx coming by later to see her (her parents). She asked if daddy was going to bring her some candy.

I feared this from what the doctor shared with me before I came. I asked 1st love to ride with me to see her. She was mom's favorite. Mom asked where our kids were. I didn't quite know what to say. Mom wasn't even aware she loved the food channel. The tele was on a retro channel with black / white movies. Given her age, I can see why the nurses did that. I don't know how I made it without breaking down. 1st love sensed I was close and said it was perfectly okay to. Somewhat a major reason why she came. Kinda made me go back to WTF we never made it.... but that's another story on another day. Mom will 99.9% likely be placed in a nursing home. Nursing home to ER to nursing home to ER.... then it's over. I will make it a priority to see her.... as much as possible. I just hate it took all this for her to separate herself from her anger. I kissed her on the cheek, said I love you.

One large thing in the major conflict I had with DC.... and if I am wrong, someone let me know. I will gladly apologize to her if needed. To me..... the last true Christmas I shared with mom was in 2014. I recall as plain as day telling her, I greatly appreciated it because for all we know, it may be our last Christmas together. Christmas 2015... I brought her to the house and she screamed how nasty the house was and it should be burned down (I posted on it). That.... to me, was not mom. That is not what I will remember. I loaded her up, took her back to her apartment. DC said I should not have done that being it may be the last Christmas she will be alive. "I guess you were able to put up with more schit than I am." I seriously doubt she will make it to Christmas.... I can't see Thanksgiving.... but if she is around, wherever it may be... I will sit with her. I may sit there with a book the entire evening but... I will have went. But I have zero regrets from taking her right back home for Christmas Eve, last year.

I have yet to break down..... but I have a strong feeling I am going to tonight. This will definitely call for a night of JD and reflections. Last year I purchased the book "Moon Man" by Tomi Ungerer. This was the first book I checked out when I started 1st grade. Mom read it to me and helped me read it next. Yes this is one of the pitfalls of having autism, you always remember stuff like this. This time..... I will just read it to her.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #57 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 12:28 PM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

I'm sorry brother. You're a good son.

I don't know what else to say.
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post #58 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 02:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Well... "mom" has been gone since September 2015. The demon took mom away except for sporadic moments. Now the demon is gone. Even though she is now like Vader after being unmasked.... I can stand being around her now. The one fear I had was the last time I ever saw her was another one of those "F you" standoffs.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #59 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-25-2016, 02:56 PM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Sorry bro....

I hate cancer.
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post #60 of 79 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 03:10 PM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Damn Chuck. Sorry to hear all that. Take time to grieve when the time is right.. ..for you. Not on anyone else's timetable. Part of that might be before your mom is physically gone, or not. Up to you.

Choosing to kick ass every day in a positive way.
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