Crossroads III: The Launch - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #76 of 80 (permalink) Old 01-16-2017, 08:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

It was really weird Christmas Eve / Day. The fact Pittsburgh was on helped.... I finally ate (I was fasting recently but also just not in the mood to eat period) and it was a pack of rolls and mashed taters.... run the rolls in the taters. Just like old times.....

Began talking to a girl from POF, we messaged on FB some, saw her last name and had to ask. Yep.... she was the XW of a guy I went to school with. Actually he was a bully. We had a run-in not long after my botched surgery and well... I had to stand down. I'd say a decade passed and I saw him in the Wal-Mart.... had just met WC, maybe six months prior. Handed her my wallet and rope chain and took him down. Granted this guy was 6'3 and 375.... a good 200 lbs more than me. I'm still barred from that Wal-Mart (I guess). Anyhow.... yes we did meet, hit it off, etc. etc. etc.
Weird thing was.... WITF did they get along? She has a great job, very intelligent, sharp financially (huge turn on), kinky........ OK.... here's the rub. She has twins.... one is CP, cerebral palsy. I have worked with CP children / adults many times... they're always happy, excited.....made me jealous in a way. The twins take up a lot of her time, a lot. So we sort of... left it at that. She had been D for a couple years but..... she isn't ready for anything heavy / serious until her kids get older. And the CP runs in her family so.... any more kids would be a risk.

Met another from POF.....was actually the one I mentioned thinking my two pics were of different people. She emailed, apologized several times..... so we spoke a bit and met. I must have forgot... she was 5'11..... little weird. I was honest to goodness nervous.... more than usual. Could have been the fact I had broke out with rosacea. My guess is all the stress I had over mom... is coming out. Anyway... I informed her of that up front. She works PT with a group who sells non-medical supplements. She brought a small cream and asked me to try it. It appears to be working, even on the skin cancer... which I'm getting taken care of either way very soon.

Anyhows.... she seems very grounded, knows what she wants in life, 38, always wanted kids, is a widow. Now for the rub..... her late H was bi-polar but was under control until the Dr.s kept adding medication. By the time he died, they were separated, many states away, and on 20 meds. She turned to God.... and is a borderline Jesus freak. I believe in God, do not care for organized religion, have stated that for many years. I don't need someone thumping the Book, I know what's in it. I don't get along with people who want to play "I'm more religious than you," Well.... she kept on and I had had enough.... "So you say, you do not read anything outside of Christianity, no Hindu, Buddhist, Confucianism, Jewish, Islamic? CS Lewis is one of my fav authors, he wrote The Divorce of Heaven and He!! after..... after..... reading William Blake's The Marriage of Heaven and He!!. To debunk it, he had to read it."

We're planning to go out again but.... if I see any religious manipulation, I'll call it then and there. And.... one more to mention. She was cute, very little make-up, was very brash on the phone but.... when we met..... yeah, nervous as crap. Few years younger than me, D, no kids, just moved back from Montana. Ended up... depression, anxiety issues... it was more a shrink session than a date. We went hiking and came to an oversee..... asked her to play Pink Floyd's Learning to Fly...... "You have to let all that schit go or it will eat you alive"........ M for ten years, he didn't want kids, D about 12 years ago but has wondered aimlessly since. Now she is realizing she may not have kids (ablation surgery -sp-) and is just.... a complete mess. You would not have ever known this talking on the phone with her. You would NEVER know... a girl with natural beauty like her.... has so many demons. Date? Sure... but nothing serious.

Dating..... 2017 style..... damn I wish it was more like 1997, much more simple then. Oh.... the FWB then FWNB when I started seeing DC..... she came up to help me sort through mom's stuff. She spent the night, no sex..... then she says ILY.... out of Fing nowhere. I'm going to have to end it completely with her..... I don't want her to think there is a future with us, which I "thought" she knew.

See why I would rather be with one person.... not have to run into schit like this LOL.


A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #77 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 02:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

Had a post partially done a good while back and saved it somewhere but can't recall WTF I put it. Anyway... had a small Super Bowl party. Few couples here... one took Atlanta and 5.5 points. By halftime he and his g/f were flying high. When the score was 28-3... he was on EBay buying stuff with money he won. Let's just say he was still confident at 28-28. Final... 28-34. He was sick as a dog. He was literally in the back yard crying and his g/f was giving him sheet for losing the bet AND spending the amount of the bet. They almost split over it. He bet a huge amount, the EBay fiasco took their vacation money. I think he is working a P/T job to get the $ back.

I wanted to give three months after mom's death to initiate contact again with mom's side to obtain items still at her sister's residence. The items were here back in the summer but after I told her to leave, of course she took them too. Everything she took was mine but one item. I had hoped but never put any merit in mom's oldest sister's son and daughter contacting me after her death. I added them to FB. Nothing since about two weeks after her death. The son was one who helped move. He portrays himself as a lay preacher but, I see another side. I will contact the police first, explain, then may contact male relative one last time. I don't see it doing any good and that's just as well, when I obtain what is mine and mom's from her sister's residence..... I will wash my hands of all her family. Not a huge deal, I really never knew them anyway.

The Hangover Crew has been talking to me and leaving everything open ended about how I feel after mom's death. "We're here, when you're ready." It's kinda weird.... I have had dreams about them but most were before I was born. They were both damn hot messes. I honestly question why they even tried to have kids. But mom waited to have me around the age which is now the norm for women to have their first child, 27. I always remembered what pop taught me, he!! most of my advice I give is what he told me. But I seem to recall and see us talking in the garage when he would usually explain life in general, with a great deal of clarity. Or mom cooking in the kitchen, maybe a few years older than I am now.

I clashed with pop a ton more than I did mom, up until the Summer of '15. Yeah... I'm sure there were times I said things to mom I probably shouldn't have but she did the same thing. I'm quite sure her delusional sister has portrayed me as a soulless demon. WTFE... if the relatives want to believe her, they too have several slices missing from a full loaf. Where I come from... you ask that person if what said was true, listen as they verify or debunk the accusations, then decide for yourself. No one has yet to ask me..... and IbeGdamn if I am going to run around trying to clear my name with people who already have judged me yet do not actually know me.

When I started seeing "this girl" and while with the guys.... I would tell stories, even the bad ones near the end when mom devolved but.... with no sense of regret. I actually would be smiling and laughing. I know the things I did during her spiral, were things I had to do... to protect myself. Mom knows that too.

I'll try to catch-up on things in the next few posts.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #78 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-26-2017, 01:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

I finally got the evaluation from the plastic surgeon about the cancer. He was an old soul and very blunt. He really didn't paint a nice picture. But I could tell he was going from a worst case scenario. I respect that. I'm not nervous... he!! I've been through much worse. But it needs to be done.

I have made several repairs on the house. Part of me wants to put it on the market. Then part of me knows there is no way in he!! I would pay for another, at the prices they want. It's like the beach house I thought about buying back in '06... priced at $425k. I did a cost analysis and $299k would kill it dead. Oh... that did not even include home owners.

Maybe a trek West is what I seek. I'm more Libertarian than most. WY, MT, ID.... dunno if I could be a cowpoke though. CA maybe but east of I-5. Up in the mountains. Maybe FL. A sleepy town on the Gulf. Not Panama City Beach..... not today. One huge tourist trap. Wasn't like that...... the way I remember it in the 1970s and 80s. Hawaii? I'd hate to see how much it would cost to transport all your crap there.

And.... "look what the cat dragged in" ... meaning I got a visit from...... DC. Surprised? Not in the least. Timing? Not in the least... she just completed her masters. I received a message on FB, after she unblocked me LOL.... told me about her upcoming graduation, which I of course, knew. -Is it okay if I run by for a second?-

I was working in the back yard. She brought treats for Boner and his g/f. Small talk..... blah blah.... -I have a great job offer in xxxxx (150 miles away) and I am going to take it......... unless you would not want me to.- "Not want you to? WTF are you talking about?" -Give me a reason to stay baby and I will-

"That is your job offer and your decision to accept or reject it. I don't know WTF you are asking me to decide, we are not together." Banter....... -I'm sorry for the way I acted. I left you hanging and your mother was dying.- "That you did." -Is there any way I can make it up to you?- "Yes there would be........ if you had any character. That you lack. You will fit in well in the business world." Tears, a few, pouts, whines...... -So there's nothing left for us is there?-

"Well..... (I just looked at her, she knew what was coming) if I wanted you to stay, how long would it be before you screamed -you held me back- and don't bat them eyes at me like you wouldn't. I'm an old man with half a brain... I know how these end. In my book what did Mike tell Cara about her scholarship in 1990?" -He told her to go or she would end up hating him.- "Very observant!"

There was a pause.... -So there's nothing I can do to fix everything.... I know I screwed up and ran.- "Y'know... if you would have stood by me.... and had my back, I would have seriously considered marrying you later this year or in '18. But.... now I can not hear what you are yelling because your actions speak so loudly." (BTW.... thanks for that saying Yoda)

-So what we had last year, was nothing.- "I thought it was something, you obviously thought otherwise." Banter banter banter..... -I'll take the job and leave you alone. I know it doesn't mean schit to you but I loved you. I wanted to be with you. I was scared. And I wanted to make this up to you.- "You acted like an entitled 16 y/o and I treated you as such. Maybe you will be mature enough to deal with your next relationship. But it will not be with me."

-Did you even love me at all?- "I did.... but like the tree in the creek over yonder... it's dead. We had a once in a lifetime but it just wasn't at the right time." Cries.... -WITF are you doing this to me?- "Your actions dictated everything.... from the late night visit with a friend over, to the showing up at 430am, and making me an option, not a priority. I deserve better." She just looked at me like an assassin ..... "I need to get back to me work in the yard, good luck with your new job and city."

That was about it....... Did I know it was coming, yeah.... I did. "If a woman runs away at the slightest thing, she ain't got a reason to have a good man"- Grandma

Can't say it any better than her..... dropped outta school after 5th grade.... smartest freaking woman I ever knew

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #79 of 80 (permalink) Old 05-30-2017, 08:22 AM
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

All for the best Chuck. She might understand the lesson life is trying to teach her one day. Fortunately for you you've already moved past and onto the next adventure.

We went camping out in the middle of nowhere this past weekend. Have some friends whose family has a small dot of land surrounded by national forest. There are some folks who live way out there in that area, and YG and I were discussing what it might be like to be so far away from civilization. We decided we might go nuts trying to live that far away. We like being right on the edge of "town". I have farmland across the street from my house but I'm only about 5 minutes away from the more populated sections. It's a good balance for us.

Choosing to kick ass every day in a positive way.
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post #80 of 80 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 04:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Crossroads III: The Launch

The surgery was a success. I actually came out better than the plastic surgeon anticipated. The graft is doing better than he expected and even one isolated part, is active. He said that is very rare for someone over 18. He even went on to say -you're still purty- LOL. The price quoted beforehand, was not the price delivered. Odd... will look into this. My de facto mom took me down. The person who numbed me and dug into my flesh informed me if there would be any major pain involved, pain relief was available. That was a F'ing lie. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

The worst part was with Dr. Plastic. I was told, before, he was going to asses the "wound" and set a date for the graft. Oh nooo .... he started immediately. I have a high tolerance for pain but needles aren't my deal. I was poked with so many needles as a kid in the hospital, I hate them, even if it's just to draw blood. Not sure exactly where he poked me but the needle was a foot long and it was somewhere behind my ear. My arse came off the table, I cussed, and farted. Then I realized a female was in the room too.... kind of embarrassing. Not the cussing, just the farting.

Myself and "this girl" were hanging out at the house, watching a few movies. Went to bed, woke up, when she had to go I was walking her to her car and whoaaaa. A tree fell on the house. We did not hear a thing. I am hoping to repair part of the roof and get an inspection. The roof is 9-10 years old, if it can stand another 10 years, not worth replacing entire. Plus I would be able to set aside funds to off-set the rise in my home owners. After a claim, it WILL go up. For three years, no other insurance company will touch you (at least in my area), after a claim. So for 36 months, I'm their bytch. They can go up as much as they want. To beat it all, it was a tree not on my property. But I have no chance of going after the guy who owns the vacant lot, to re-coup my deductable.

"This girl" and I have been dating awhile now. Has been a big help on what to do with mom's stuff. I'd rather give it away than throw it away. Even sold a few things that 4th love left. We took a mini-trip on the proceeds. Heck we even went to the lake..... no not the lake where I live near. It was in another state. Nice girl, not prissy, a slight touch of mountain in her. She wants to learn how to use basic power tools. Cleans up really well. Sound familiar?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
Chuck71 is online now  
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