Re: Crossroads III: The Launch
It was really weird Christmas Eve / Day. The fact Pittsburgh was on helped.... I finally ate (I was fasting recently but also just not in the mood to eat period) and it was a pack of rolls and mashed taters.... run the rolls in the taters. Just like old times.....
Began talking to a girl from POF, we messaged on FB some, saw her last name and had to ask. Yep.... she was the XW of a guy I went to school with. Actually he was a bully. We had a run-in not long after my botched surgery and well... I had to stand down. I'd say a decade passed and I saw him in the Wal-Mart.... had just met WC, maybe six months prior. Handed her my wallet and rope chain and took him down. Granted this guy was 6'3 and 375.... a good 200 lbs more than me. I'm still barred from that Wal-Mart (I guess). Anyhow.... yes we did meet, hit it off, etc. etc. etc.
Weird thing was.... WITF did they get along? She has a great job, very intelligent, sharp financially (huge turn on), kinky........ OK.... here's the rub. She has twins.... one is CP, cerebral palsy. I have worked with CP children / adults many times... they're always happy, excited.....made me jealous in a way. The twins take up a lot of her time, a lot. So we sort of... left it at that. She had been D for a couple years but..... she isn't ready for anything heavy / serious until her kids get older. And the CP runs in her family so.... any more kids would be a risk.
Met another from POF.....was actually the one I mentioned thinking my two pics were of different people. She emailed, apologized several times..... so we spoke a bit and met. I must have forgot... she was 5'11..... little weird. I was honest to goodness nervous.... more than usual. Could have been the fact I had broke out with rosacea. My guess is all the stress I had over mom... is coming out. Anyway... I informed her of that up front. She works PT with a group who sells non-medical supplements. She brought a small cream and asked me to try it. It appears to be working, even on the skin cancer... which I'm getting taken care of either way very soon.
Anyhows.... she seems very grounded, knows what she wants in life, 38, always wanted kids, is a widow. Now for the rub..... her late H was bi-polar but was under control until the Dr.s kept adding medication. By the time he died, they were separated, many states away, and on 20 meds. She turned to God.... and is a borderline Jesus freak. I believe in God, do not care for organized religion, have stated that for many years. I don't need someone thumping the Book, I know what's in it. I don't get along with people who want to play "I'm more religious than you," Well.... she kept on and I had had enough.... "So you say, you do not read anything outside of Christianity, no Hindu, Buddhist, Confucianism, Jewish, Islamic? CS Lewis is one of my fav authors, he wrote The Divorce of Heaven and He!! after..... after..... reading William Blake's The Marriage of Heaven and He!!. To debunk it, he had to read it."
We're planning to go out again but.... if I see any religious manipulation, I'll call it then and there. And.... one more to mention. She was cute, very little make-up, was very brash on the phone but.... when we met..... yeah, nervous as crap. Few years younger than me, D, no kids, just moved back from Montana. Ended up... depression, anxiety issues... it was more a shrink session than a date. We went hiking and came to an oversee..... asked her to play Pink Floyd's Learning to Fly...... "You have to let all that schit go or it will eat you alive"........ M for ten years, he didn't want kids, D about 12 years ago but has wondered aimlessly since. Now she is realizing she may not have kids (ablation surgery -sp-) and is just.... a complete mess. You would not have ever known this talking on the phone with her. You would NEVER know... a girl with natural beauty like her.... has so many demons. Date? Sure... but nothing serious.
Dating..... 2017 style..... damn I wish it was more like 1997, much more simple then. Oh.... the FWB then FWNB when I started seeing DC..... she came up to help me sort through mom's stuff. She spent the night, no sex..... then she says ILY.... out of Fing nowhere. I'm going to have to end it completely with her..... I don't want her to think there is a future with us, which I "thought" she knew.
See why I would rather be with one person.... not have to run into schit like this LOL.
A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past