I had the same issue with my son (was 9-10) when my now ex-wife and I lived together.
Our marriage lasted almost 2 years, he had accidents on a daily basis. She wasn't physically abusive, but he was terrified of her and would soil himself whenever he was around her.
We tried everything for 2 years, discipline was probably the most damaging approach to this sort of issue because then the child tries to hide the issue.
I've gotten some excellent advice from @EleGirl
, and others.
The thing that worked the best was minimizing his time spent at my house when my ex was around, never leaving him with her when I am not around, and teaching him to take responsibility for cleaning himself up (rather than hiding it)
She will begin to hide it, so the last suggestion is the most important.
Accident free since April 17 2015, the day I told him it will be just us for awhile and separated. My ex wasn't the cause of the accidents, but my son was very stressed out, depressed, and scared of her presence. She wasn't welcoming of him in the least, the accidents played a big part in her pushing him away from the marriage, and pushing him away had a big part to the accidents.
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