I have not done anything yet, that is why I posted here. I agree with your advice. I just need clarity because sometimes your judgment is clouded by emotions.
You're having the beginnings of an emotional affair, probably mostly from rebounding. I am sure the guy who was banging your wife was thinking very much like you right before he started sticking it to her.
You have absolutely no excuse. None! You know exactly how much that emasculates and devastates a person. You know how long it takes to get over and how it permeates every part of your life. Now you want to do that to someone else.
What the hell is wrong with you, are you a sociopath? I am going to assume this is because you feel really down right now so let me give you a little secret.
The only thing you have total control over in this world is your honor. Take your self-esteem from that. Learn to cherish it. If you do that then you will never cheat because your motive to not cheat will be selfishness.
Seriously dude, all you know is what this woman has told you. I am sure her husband would beg to differ with the assessment of his marriage. Frankly you should ask. I bet she would be singing a different tune tomorrow.
I am also sure your wife sad the very same things about your marriage before she started letting that guy bang her.
Do the right thing, tell this woman you can't have any kind (ANY KIND) of a relationship with her because she is married. Then let her go, the more time you waste with her the less time you will have to find the right one.
Also you need to get your picker checked because you are about to throw down with a married woman, how successful do you think that relationship would be? What are the chances that this woman who is creeping on her husband will make a good life partner? You think she really has character?
You are not learning young buck.