Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Here and there, but nowhere
Question: Kids, Parties and XWWs
I recently planned and threw a high school graduation party for my son. He lives with me but still has contact with his mother (XWW). I invited family and friends along with some of XWW’s family that I’m still close to. I did not invite XWW.
I asked my son several times if he wanted her at his party. His response was no, it would be too awkward so I went with my sons answer. I did not invite her because it would have been awkward…for her as well as me. In my opinion, what she did to me, our marriage, our family, without remorse, were the actions of someone who could not possibly expect to remain part of BS’s life. To me, cheating = Divorce. Lying, Blame-shifting, Gas-lighting, along with no remorse = purged from my life.
I realize that if my kids get married someday that I’ll have to be in the same room as her but until then, I choose no contact with her. No contact, for me has been the best way to heal from this nightmare. Whenever I’ve seen her in the past, it has set me back emotionally. Avoiding contact is what is best for me.
My mother seems to think I should have invited XWW and so does a couple of XWW's relatives. Their response was "She's still his mother" My response was "Yes she is. She can plan her own Graduation party"
What would you do in this situation? Was I wrong not to invite her?