No Interest In Dating? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-20-2016, 09:34 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

I feel the exact same way. My quick story- my husband cheated on me after 20 years of marriage in 2013 and I have been divorced for a year. He has already remarried. I have not dated at all and have no desire to. I just don't have the energy as I have a 11 year old son, I'm working part-time and trying to start my own business. Glad I'm not the only hermit.

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post #32 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-20-2016, 10:28 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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I feel the exact same way. My quick story- my husband cheated on me after 20 years of marriage in 2013 and I have been divorced for a year. He has already remarried. I have not dated at all and have no desire to. I just don't have the energy as I have a 11 year old son, I'm working part-time and trying to start my own business. Glad I'm not the only hermit.
I'm not trying to nit-pick, but hermit may be the wrong word. If one has a healthy life outside work with friends, enjoys hobbies and is happy being single, great!

Finding a balance is crucial. I wish you good luck with your business!
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post #33 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-28-2016, 01:23 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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I'm not trying to nit-pick, but hermit may be the wrong word. If one has a healthy life outside work with friends, enjoys hobbies and is happy being single, great!

Finding a balance is crucial. I wish you good luck with your business!
I agree. You're not a hermit. You're just lining your life on your terms, doing your thing.

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post #34 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-19-2017, 01:37 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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I’m in my early 50’s and have been divorced for over 3 ˝ years now. I’ve been here for a while and some of you may know my story. In a nut shell…I found out my ex was cheating for 1 ˝ years, I tried to save our marriage by doing everything wrong, and I ended up filing and divorcing her anyway. I am currently raising my teenage kids alone.

Here’s the issue. I know many folks that are divorced. The vast majority of them, within a few years, have already remarried or are in serious relationships. My friends and relatives are constantly trying to set me up with divorced women. They all think I should be involved with someone by now. They seem to equate dating or being in a relationship with moving on. I feel like I have moved on, but alone…not with someone else. By contrast, XWW was on 3 different dating sites within 2 weeks of moving out.

Here’s the thing, I don’t seem to have any interest in dating or beginning a new relationship. I suppose it doesn’t help that I haven’t met anyone that I wanted to go on a second date with. I do miss some things about being in a relationship…especially sex and physical contact but apparently not enough to invest the time and effort into growing a relationship to get it. Unfortunately for me, I’ve always been one that only desires sex within the context of an emotional and committed relationship. Thinking about starting a new relationship just seems so exhausting to me. I would much rather spend that time and energy pursuing other interests that have a better personal rate of return with less emotional risk.

So, does this seem normal? Does anyone else here feel this same way or am I morphing into a reclusive hermit?
After my divorce it was 4 years before I had the emotional energy to even think of dating again. It was another 2 years before I met my now husband of 11 years. Do what is right for you. I always wanted to marry again one day, if you dont, then don't.
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post #35 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-19-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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After my divorce it was 4 years before I had the emotional energy to even think of dating again. It was another 2 years before I met my now husband of 11 years. Do what is right for you. I always wanted to marry again one day, if you dont, then don't.
My partner took 7 years, before he met me. We've been together for almost a year, and some days he's still not sure if he's ready. Most days he is, but some days he's not. I'm very patient, and he is very good to me. We make it work. He's trying.

For the OP, go at your own pace. Either one day you'll be ready, and you'll get out there. Or, like my guy, you'll meet someone and realize that if you don't make yourself get ready, you'll miss out on her. The second option is a little bumpier. And the longer you wait, the harder it can be.

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post #36 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-19-2017, 03:53 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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My partner took 7 years, before he met me. We've been together for almost a year, and some days he's still not sure if he's ready. Most days he is, but some days he's not. I'm very patient, and he is very good to me. We make it work. He's trying.

For the OP, go at your own pace. Either one day you'll be ready, and you'll get out there. Or, like my guy, you'll meet someone and realize that if you don't make yourself get ready, you'll miss out on her. The second option is a little bumpier. And the longer you wait, the harder it can be.
My husband's marriage was very recently over when we met. We married 9 months after meeting. He was fine, but the marriage hadnt been right for years so it wasnt such a shock as it was for me being that mine was very sudden and unexpected.
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post #37 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 11:09 AM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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After my divorce it was 4 years before I had the emotional energy to even think of dating again. It was another 2 years before I met my now husband of 11 years. Do what is right for you. I always wanted to marry again one day, if you dont, then don't.
"emotional energy" that's such a great phrase. Describes me perfectly, I just don't have the emotional energy for dating, I think I would be fine if I was married, but dating seems like such a bother. lol
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post #38 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-20-2017, 06:56 PM
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Re: No Interest In Dating?

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"emotional energy" that's such a great phrase. Describes me perfectly, I just don't have the emotional energy for dating, I think I would be fine if I was married, but dating seems like such a bother. lol

This reflects my feelings as well, and I know it seems weird to some, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I know that dating after a break up is so refreshing and exciting for some people, but I just have no interest in the dating process. As was already stated, I just don't have the emotional energy; there is nothing about it that is appealing to me.

It all has to do with a person's personality I suppose. I can tell that some people never even consider remaining single. Being in a relationship is as much a given as putting on clothes before you go to work every day.

For me, I'm not lonely or feeling empty, so I'm going to need a reason to be in a relationship. Someone will have to come along that I am convinced will enhance my happiness. So far, that hasn't happened.

There is nothing more sad or glorious than generations changing hands- John Mellencamp
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