lostdad

So 11 months ago the whole thing started, wife of 11 years "love you but not in love with you", infedelity, divorce on the table. Fast forward 11 months and i'm living in an apartment 3 hours away from my old town, working a new job trying to build a new life. And i just don't feel like anything at all. I have no passion about anything, I was dating a girl for awhile but didn't really feel anything at all, nothing seems to excite me at all. Seeing my son on the weekends is about the only thing I have any strong feelings about these days. I don't feel depressed or sad I just don't feel anything and i'm not really finding anything to be passionate about in any capacity. How do I shake this? I feel like i'm not living i'm just killing time.

52flower

Is it possible that you are going through a slight depression? When asked, I'd say I didn't think I was. But I'm sure I've had periods where I was definitely in the thick of it. Try to smile & say and think positive things. Sometimes a smile or kind words from a stranger gives hope and optimism. It's been almost a year and I still have down moments too. But I fear getting stuck so I keep trying new things. Everyone says it will get better so try and act like it will. Hang in there, OK?

Lon

the saying "this too shall pass" comes to mind. I slip into that flat state of living occasionally since separating. It can turn to loneliness and depression pretty quickly... however I think if you find yourself doing something you rather enjoy, the numbness kind of disappears. I've taken up playing squash as a great way to get myself out of that state, it especially helps when I notice my game has been improving and doing better against more experienced players...

Shooboomafoo

System reboot, cooling period, performing a personal defragmentation of the feelings.
Okay, sorry for all the computer references.
But they seemed adequate.

You are okay though?

__________________
His delay, is not a denial.

Sparkles422

lostdad: A perfectly natural feeling considering that your world (and ours) ended in such an unexpected, gut wrenching manner.

Now to the good stuff: This will pass and come back and pass again, (kind of like a dump) but the next time and each time it gets easier. And one day, you may be feeling blue and you CAN shake it off as if it's a sweater you no longer need because it suddenly has gotten warm and the sun is shining and you have a

PULSE again!

Corpuswife

It's a normal time of adjustment. Give yourself time....it will get better as long as you take those "baby steps" to move forward. Pretty soon those days of gloom will be less of an issue. However, don't be shocked if years later...one pops up during some random moment!

Life will get better...

hurtnohio

You're experiencing the classic signs of depression. Contrary to what a lot of people think, depression is not always so much a feeling of sadness as just a feeling of being numb. No feelings at all, really. Depression can make you wish you were sad or could cry just so you'd feel SOMETHING.

I'm no doctor, but I personally don't believe in running out and seeking a drug for appropriate depression (unusual depression or some kind of chemical imbalance is a different story). But being depressed when a relationship fails is completely normal.

You'll feel numb for a while. Don't let it keep you cooped up at home all the time. Go out with friends, even if you don't feel like it. Force yourself to do something you used to enjoy, even if it's just taking a walk or riding a bike. Speaking of walking, regular exercise can help with depression, too.

If you're otherwise healthy, this feeling will pass. Everyone's different, so no one knows how long it will take, but it will pass.