Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: overlooking Iowa
I do tend to trust someone until they give me a reason to not trust them but I do not trust blindly, nor will I ever. I'm now officially dating someone (the first official dating-dating) since my divorce. Even though we are dating, it's not a serious relationship, we are not committed to each other yet. I do like the guy, and I think the relationship could have great potential but I'm very reluctant to become attached to him. I guess I'm still very guarded. I'm pretty sure the guy likes me too, but I don't know his true feelings for me, or even if he has developed feelings for me. I don't know really how guys work, I only knew how my ex worked. My ex never had real feelings for me because of his narcissism. I'm still not convinced I'm actually worthy of someone to have real feelings for. Deep down inside of me, I'd like to believe that men do indeed develop feelings for women just the same as women do for men, but since I've never had a man have true, genuine feelings for me before, I don't know.
I also have many insecurities, I many triggers that still effect me (I made a post under CWI on a trigger I had a few days ago) I'm happy to have this new guy in my life, I'm quite good with the casualness of the new relationship because I only see him once a week, there's no pressure on either of us, it's simply one day at a time thing and going with the flow and just letting things happen as they happen. I don't think I will ever let my guard down in any future relationships. This guy has no history of ever cheating before (so he says anyways) but I will still never fully trust any man ever again.
"said woman, take it slow, it'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience."-Gun N Roses