Re: Should we remain friends?
My ex cheated, lied, painted me as a monster to his family and our friends - guess he underestimated their friendship and loyalty to me after 25 years of marriage - and left me for the OW he knew for exactly 10 days at that point.
I still cannot look at him without feeling sick to my stomach and wanting to rip him to shreds verbally. Like 5Creed, I tried to be friendly with him at first, allowing him to hang out with my son in my house, and talking with him about friends and family and work as if we were still friends. I told myself it was for our son's sake, but really it was really because I couldn't let go, and for him, I think it was like 5Creed said - it assuaged his guilt if I seemed to forgive him - if we could be friends, that made everything he had done OK. Recently, I talked to my son about it, and found he understands why it can't be like that anymore. His Dad now picks him up from school and takes him elsewhere on the days he's in town, rather than come into my house. He's given me back the keys. He drops him off and leaves. We text, and only about our son.
I feel so much better now that I've finally established some boundaries and they're being respected. It wasn't even hard to do - it was a lot harder playing the charade of friendship, when I could barely stand to look at him and have his toxic presence in my house. There is less tension in his and my son's relationship now, too.