Re: Divorced, EX has moved in with affair partner but I still miss her
Yeppers for sure.
The sincere fact that I could not be back together with my ex, even if she came pleading for reconciliation, leaves me with little justification for sadness or those times I trigger and well up in the eyes.
What am I sad about? I ask myself, and then try to understand it. Is it the disappearance of what constituted a "marriage" in my life? Is it the "family" that was and is not anymore? Well I still have my daughter, and wish this had not have happened, and gladly know I did not contribute to my wifes choice to destroy it all, and THEN offer trivial meaningless excuses that changed frequently to justify her behavior.
I saw a picture and thought to myself, " did I love that woman?, or was it a love for what I wanted our relationship to be?" I still dont know. At times I felt something for her, but it was in between the complete lack of respect and love being shown me for most of the time I spent betrothed to her.
Its like seeing someone go off the deep end mentally. That last thread finally broke and they ran off with some moron from their high school days..
Thats not on me.
If something I did contributed to the downfall of our marriage, I know for a fact that I presented myself and questioned often what it was I could do to change for the better to make our marriage better. All I ever heard was "nothing" or some statement that left nothing for me to do, other than have patience for how she recognized herself to be.
Ultimately, she did something, and didnt have the guts to face it, but instead, chose to dump her marriage that would have made her have to own up to whatever it was she did to whom.
Was I perfect? no way. But I asked often, and constantly looked inside myself and read relationship books, and asked her input, and looked for what it was that would make her happy.
Turns out, it was fantasy on both our parts.
His delay, is not a denial.