I don't think anyone has been rude to you. You don't like what you are hearing so you are interpreting it as "rude". That's not fair or correct. But then again, that's the nature of the internet and the printed word. The intention behind the words as they are written doesn't often jive with the way they are interpreted by those who read them.
In your initial post on this thread you definitely give off the vibe that you are looking to get into a committed relationship with someone and what are the odds that you can do so given that you have 5 boys to raise? If I got the wrong impression than I do apologize.
I've read some of your earlier posts. I read a post by you about how overwhelmed and guilty you felt when your 5 year old son was injured while you were away at school so I can see why you are feeling defensive and guilty when you perceive that someone is accusing you of being a bad mother simply because you want to have a social life and date others in attempt to be a whole person, not just as a provider and parent.
You've had a rough time. A husband who has cheated on you over the years while you thought you were in a good and happy marriage. Now you are going to school full time and trying to raise 5 boys. It's not easy. You've had your emotional roots torn up all around you and been handed a raw deal. You feel overwhelmed and would love to have someone to share your life and support YOU for a change. It's understandable that you'd be wanting to find someone else to love and be loved by someone who isn't a child, but a peer.
I have to give you kudos for all you've done and are trying to accomplish. Being there for your kids isn't easy. We all want to have fun and have our own lives as well as we go about the business of dedicating our lives to our loved ones.
Heck I go out and have a good time as well. I don't date but I sure as heck am into my various hobbies and activities. It does help that my kids are older and more independent and there's only two of them..and that I have absolutely no interest in dating. But there's other things I like doing that do take me away from my kids. No one should have to be attached to their kids with a proverbial ball and chain. We need time for ourselves as well, be it dating or reading a book or hanging out on a computer.
You are not alone. Many of us here have been handed a set of circumstances that we are dealing with through no fault of our own, be it a spouse who was unfaithful, was addicted to drugs or alcohol or has mental problems..this forum is full of such things, sad to say.
However, you asked for opinions. If you wanted only men to reply then you would've done better to have posted in the Men's Clubhouse. You might've gotten more of the response you were looking for or at least a different perspective.
Here, you have people who are going through much the same as you are. In that respect, you'll get sympathy, but you'll also get a "Shut up and suck it up" mentality too. It's unavoidable.
My .02 is that you have 5 kids and that comes with a set of unique circumstances that are going to limit your dating options and that introducing the component of a man into your family life might make things worse or at least complicate things. You aren't stupid, you know what the score is. What did expect or want people to say when you started this thread? :scratchhead:
I think Trying2Figureitout probably told you what you wanted to hear. Hers was a beautiful and touching story but I hate to say it, it's something that I can't see happening very often. Oh, it COULD happen but then again, someone can always win the 10 million dollar lottery too.
I wish you the best of luck. Stay the course that you are on and you will do well. We're all pulling for you, trust me on that.