over the course of time i have read up on all of your adventure, but i recall at one time your ex wanted to talk to you and your daughter or daughter in law was trying to put it together around a wedding if i recall. what ever happen to that? i knew that meeting didn't take place at the time but i wasn't sure if you ever did meet her ?
We never did meet. I assume it was all a ruse on her part to try to maintain her image.
I went to the first wedding as defeated, beaten man. I was withdrawn and kept to myself. I had some counseling in between. The counselor pointed out that I still harbored hopes of a reconciliation that was never going to happen . It was really the first time some one was so blunt about it. It was a real turning point. I was able to place more of my story in perspective and start to really move on with my life.
I went to the second wedding in a much better frame of mind. I still largely ignored her, except during pictures. I told her that our daughter deserved a picture of her whole family. So we had every conceivable permutation of a family photograph taken.
But at this point I don't really care, I never have to see the woman ever again. I truly do hope that she finds happiness or whatever it is she is looking for. I have no idea what that might be, as she never bothered to tell me. All I know is that I had offered her everything I could at that time. It wasn't enough for her then, what I have to offer now is too good for someone that shallow. So why bother worrying about it?
I do have a growing kernel of admiration and gratitude for her. Admiration fro doing something, that I should have done myself, had I not been completely immersed in being the "nice" guy society expected of me and gratitude that she followed through.
Had I not suffered the pain that I did, I doubt the impetus for the real changes I am going through would have been there. Now my focus in on me and taking care of my needs. I spent too much of my life as a domesticated lamb, now I get to live as a free spirited man, free to pursue my wants and needs to my satisfaction. I no longer have to modulate them, in order to placate a wife who never really supported any effort on my part that did not involve some benefit to her.