I am not bitter in the least bit.
You sound REALLY bitter not just on this thread but on others but I get that you are unaware of it.
I am just giving JB the same treatment others have gotten when they sit on their azz wringing their hands.
So that makes it right? Because others do it? Seriously you sound like a petulant 6 year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "SIS DID IT TOO!"
You can keep enabling his "non-choice" all you want.
Who's enabling? Doing the dishes all the time because your partner is too lazy is enabling. Giving suggestions and advice isn't enabling.
This has been going for two years and he refuses to do anything but whine about how he will lose everything, but has made no effort to actually find out (aside from talking to a well known men's rights attorney about 20 years ago) nor do anything to actually improve his situation.
Not the choice you or I would make but it doesn't make it wrong.
I would think in 20 years+/- he could have done something, (created a trust, set up a college fund, etc etc.)
Or moved and hidden assets and gradually separated accounts and joint credit cards, etc.
But no it is easier to do nothing and whine
Change is scary. No disagreement there.
Maybe you are a sucker.
Geez I hope not. Do you think I am?
His story doesn't make any sense, unless you are willing to accept he is just a victim.
It doesn't make any sense to YOU. To me it makes perfect sense why someone would be afraid to undergo a divorce due to finances. It happens ALL the time. Go ahead and read up on divorce rates and statistics. and although the numbers vary there's no question that there are large numbers of people who remain married for financial reasons only.
Are they all suckers and victims too? All because they didn't do the "brave" thing like you did and end the marriage at any cost?
Here's a link to get you started. I found it by Google searching "why do people stay married". I got tons of hits, surprisingly enough and "finances" is a top reason. What do you think of that? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/1...n_6330292.html Top reason out of 10 for staying in a bad marriage "I have too much to lose". The third most common reason out of top ten: "I can't afford to move out on my own".