I don't want to speak for Ynot, but I suspect that it is hard for some people to realize that you DO get a choice and that you chose to stay, yet also seem to wish you were divorced. Many people don't get a choice in the matter, and they end up losing not only their partner and in some cases their children, and many of their material things as well. And then they have no choice but to make the best of it and build a new life. I can relate to that as well.
Those are just my objective thoughts, if it helps.
Yes. most have choices...and most of them are bad for one reason of another.
The choice that many do not have is a FSA, a Financial Security Administration credit card. No funding for fleeing the heat. If you have no family or friends to take you in, temporarily, your' poop is weak.
That one is hard to overcome. It is hard to be free when your wallet or purse is light.
The other choice that many do not have is [having] clarity of purpose and mental resolve....aka, Will Power.
Some other choices could be construed to be advantages, but aren't.
a) The ability to compartmentalize.
b) The ability to roll with the punches.
c) The ability to forgive when forgiving is not appropriate to the situation. A situational value judgement that works against one's better interests.
Having those abilities [by default] keeps your head below the waterline. The air above the waterline being "The Happy State". Why settle for a life under muddy water, when escape is within your reach?
Settling for less is a poor choice.