Re: I want a relationship. I want to be single. I...
Don't borrow trouble. You have made it clear that you don't have romantic feelings with your FWB and as long as it's clear that there is no commitment to monogamy, then you need to not worry about things that might not happen.
You've been on one date. That does not make a relationship.
Anyway, that's not why I jumped in here. I jumped in here because I get it. I don't want a relationship either. I don't want to share my bed, I don't want to clean up after someone, I don't want to watch shows I don't like, I don't want remind someone to put down the toilet seat. I am no mood for compromise. And apparently I am willing to forgo sex to keep my freedom. And it's funny, because I liked being married in many ways, but I know a lot of it was because I loved being in love. But now that I am not, I am not eager to do it again. The betrayal was too deep and in truth, you just can't tell. You can't guarantee that a relationship will last forever and that you both will work on it. And so it's a lot of emotion and sacrifice with an uncertain outcome. Or maybe I feel that way because I came out the loser. Or maybe two years is not enough time, I don't know. I just know I feel the same way you do.
I hear that. Being single really kinda rocks - that freedom you gain after a divorce is really, really something beautiful and I'm loathe to give it up.
On another note - don't consider yourself the "loser". If you are no longer tethered to a cheater (I'm assuming that's what you meant by "betrayal"), and you now have your freedom, I'd say you're the winner. You've discovered your self worth (and that it's high) and that you aren't willing to compromise your newfound sense of self for a "maybe". Focus on you, figure out what your passions are... be selfish. Love yourself. You're no loser. People who cheat on their spouses and throw their lives away are losers. Case in point, my ex wife. What a sad person. I no longer have anger towards her - just pity.
Last edited by moth-into-flame; 12-15-2016 at 04:31 PM.