I hate my ex all over again - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 07:09 PM Thread Starter
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I hate my ex all over again

I mean truly hate, with a white hot fire reserved only for the most despicable in our society. Hate.

I do not know where he is.
I do not know where he works
I can only communicate via FB

He is hurting my children, solely to be an ass. One of my DD wanted a relationship with him, he totally blew her off.
He is neglecting my children because he can't be bothered.

I'm not at the point where I want his to suffer, well maybe, a little suffering wouldn't be so bad, but not really.
I will never, ever forgive him for what he's done to my children. Ever. They are kind, loving, generous empathetic people, and he is causing them pain just because that's the only thing he can do.

And they've stopped being HIS children because no parent behaves this way.
I cannot control his actions, only my reaction. And today my reaction is hate, and I think he deserves it.

(and tomorrow will be better and I will work out all the crap he's dumped and I will take care of my kids, and I won't hate quite as much-maybe)
I'm not going to do anything to him, and I don't' say anything to my children because that's too corrosive. But if I saw him tomorrow walk in front of a bus, I would not call out for him to watch out-and I've never said that about anyone in my life. Ever.


In youth it was a way I had, to do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad to suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know, and do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you! --Dorothy Parker
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 07:26 PM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

I hope you feel better using TAM to rant.


Not all people are qualified to be parents. Sounds like your ex is one of them. So, your kids are ultimately better off without him.

It's sad but true.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:37 PM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Perfectly normal post.
You are human with feelings.
He is not.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-03-2016, 11:47 PM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryHurt View Post
Perfectly normal post.
You are human with feelings.
He is not.
Perfectly succinct post.

The Spin stops here!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 12:26 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

It always amazes me how some humans can be so inhumane to their own flesh and blood.

And we as humans are above all the other animals that inhabit this Earth?

How messed up is that!

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 01:52 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Some people are just so wrapped up in their own anger that they will even use their own children as pawns. It’s sad for your children. I hope that they can be strong and not too badly hurt by what he’s doing…. Shoot I hope it rolls off them and they realize that this is about him and not them.

What a louse.

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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 05:08 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Pluto I rarely use the word hate but but can comfortably say there are times I hate my ex as well. It must be our protective instincts toward our children, when we see them in pain we want to cut the head off the monster that's hurting them. When I look back over my marriage and all the things my ex wife did to me and our life I'm disgusted with her but I never "hated" her, but when I look at the pain she caused our children and the continued drama she causes in their life I truly hate her.

So yeah Pluto, many of us can relate. Now where's that damn bus...
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 06:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Thanks everyone for understanding. Guess we all get to a point where we can't hold it in any longer and having TAM to vent really does help.

Doing my best to help them let it roll off their backs as @EleGirl mentioned. I think my older DD gets it, I don't think the 15 yr old DD does, not yet. She's an emotional young child who is having a hard time comprehending the why's. (don't we all)

We talk about the karma bus on TAM, and frankly, I'm not waiting for it. He will not keep me waiting for anything ever again, I believe my kids and I have done more than enough waiting because of him.

In youth it was a way I had, to do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad to suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know, and do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you! --Dorothy Parker
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 07:10 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
Pluto I rarely use the word hate but but can comfortably say there are times I hate my ex as well. It must be our protective instincts toward our children, when we see them in pain we want to cut the head off the monster that's hurting them. When I look back over my marriage and all the things my ex wife did to me and our life I'm disgusted with her but I never "hated" her, but when I look at the pain she caused our children and the continued drama she causes in their life I truly hate her.

So yeah Pluto, many of us can relate. Now where's that damn bus...
Yeah, I'm with you ............where is that damn friggin' bus ????????????????
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 07:31 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

I am sorry for your pain.

If it helps, write it all down on a piece of paper, screw it up and put it in the freezer. I have no clue why this works, but it has for me in the past.

Wishing and your children lots of strength and happiness together.

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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 07:53 AM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Sorry Pluto, your anger stems from the mama tiger protecting her young, it is perfectly natural and rises up in all of us at one point or another. YOur kids will grow up and understand better and he will be the one to lose out. Take care
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 02:23 PM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

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Originally Posted by Pluto2 View Post
Thanks everyone for understanding. Guess we all get to a point where we can't hold it in any longer and having TAM to vent really does help.

Doing my best to help them let it roll off their backs as @EleGirl mentioned. I think my older DD gets it, I don't think the 15 yr old DD does, not yet. She's an emotional young child who is having a hard time comprehending the why's. (don't we all)

We talk about the karma bus on TAM, and frankly, I'm not waiting for it. He will not keep me waiting for anything ever again, I believe my kids and I have done more than enough waiting because of him.
My step daughter's mother walked out on the kids when they were very young. She would go months without contacting her children. My step daughter used to cry about it quite often. She blamed herself. I kept telling her that her mother's actions were not SD's fault. That apparently her mother was fighting some emotional issues that made it hard for her to show her daughter the love that SD wanted. Over time SD came to realizes that this is the truth. Her mother is grossly flawed and at fault. And it does not reflect on SD's worth. MY SD is 27 now. She gets it and has come to peace with her mother. More importantly she has come to peace within herself.

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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-04-2016, 03:00 PM
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Re: I hate my ex all over again

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pluto2 View Post
I mean truly hate, with a white hot fire reserved only for the most despicable in our society. Hate.

I do not know where he is.
I do not know where he works
I can only communicate via FB

He is hurting my children, solely to be an ass. One of my DD wanted a relationship with him, he totally blew her off.
He is neglecting my children because he can't be bothered.

I'm not at the point where I want his to suffer, well maybe, a little suffering wouldn't be so bad, but not really.
I will never, ever forgive him for what he's done to my children. Ever. They are kind, loving, generous empathetic people, and he is causing them pain just because that's the only thing he can do.

And they've stopped being HIS children because no parent behaves this way.
I cannot control his actions, only my reaction. And today my reaction is hate, and I think he deserves it.

(and tomorrow will be better and I will work out all the crap he's dumped and I will take care of my kids, and I won't hate quite as much-maybe)
I'm not going to do anything to him, and I don't' say anything to my children because that's too corrosive. But if I saw him tomorrow walk in front of a bus, I would not call out for him to watch out-and I've never said that about anyone in my life. Ever.
Good lord I understand what you are saying. Some days the hate I have overcomes me and takes over.

I have to take a deep breath and realize that waste of skin is gone. LIke you I do not communicate in any way shape or form. It may be harder on the kids but is the only way Ikeep my sanity.

I know how you feel. Hope you feel better!
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