Re: Divorced-- questions to ask re attracting the *right* person
I found that I did pretty well with just a few basic questions to keep in mind when meeting new prospective partners:
Are any of my hard-and-fast deal-breakers present?
Is there mutual attraction?
Do I enjoy my time with this person and seek to spend more time with them?
Do they enhance my life?
Do they give as much as they take - financially, emotionally, verbally, intellectually, in level of effort, in level of respect, etc.?
Do we want the same type of relationship?
Do we share compatible values and goals?
Beyond that, anything else is pretty much just fine details. And getting to know someone is all about learning those fine details. I, personally, think it's a good idea to start not with a list of requirements or wants, but with a list of absolute deal-breakers. If any of those deal-breakers is present, you just politely walk away. That way, you're not wasting anyone's time and no one is wasting yours. And, you avoid things you can't/shouldn't tolerate before all those pesky emotions or sex hormones show up to cloud judgement. If there are no deal-breakers, then it's time to start looking further into whether or not the two of you are compatible for whatever type of relationship you'd like to have.
You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi