almost 6 years later - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:28 PM
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Re: almost 6 years later

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Originally Posted by Crankshaw View Post
would need to know an address, or postal address to be able to send cards, as for meeting someone, pass
If you wanted to find your children you could do it, I think this goes without saying.

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: almost 6 years later

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Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
Crankshaw do you think you are teaching her a lesson? Do you think by moving away and buying another house your life is moving on? You need to realize you will forever be hand cuffed to this woman unless you divorce her. Is the price of a divorce so high you would rather live in spite the rest of your life? Have you looked at a dissolution? A few hundred dollars in filing fees is all it cost.

Honestly you are only hurting yourself, and intentionally undermining any chance of moving on to a happier life. Is it possible subconsciously that's what you think you deserve?
to be thinking I was teaching her a lesson would involve some sort of contact, there is *NO* contact, so, no, I do not think I am teaching her a lesson.
I move away for (silly me!) love, which turned out to be nothing that it portrayed to be, that was 2 years ago, buying a house is me moving on, gaining my independence.
The price of divorce is high enough for me to not bother with it, I have much better things to spend my hard earned $$ on

Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: almost 6 years later

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WTF? You bought a house? While you are still married? You do understand that many states have dower property laws, which basically means by being stubborn by refusing to see reality, you have just bought your wife half a new house? Go ahead and spend the money renovating it, I am sure your wife will be more than happy to see the big return on the investment she didn't even lift a finger for. Good job, you have just created another marital asset to be divided thru a divorce. For God's sakes man, just pay for the divorce and face reality. The marriage is over.
ahhhh, please note, I live in Australia, our laws are quite different, my ex has no rights to anything I have or will have

Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 03:04 AM Thread Starter
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Re: almost 6 years later

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If you wanted to find your children you could do it, I think this goes without saying.
a cpl of things, 1) costs are HUGE, 2) the ex has been very good at turning the kids against me, so I am not sure they want me to know where they live or anything else

Happiness is not a life without pain, but rather a life in which the pain is traded for a worthy price.

I love standing in the pouring rain because you can cry to your hearts content, and no one will know.
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 11:32 AM
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Re: almost 6 years later

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a cpl of things, 1) costs are HUGE, 2) the ex has been very good at turning the kids against me, so I am not sure they want me to know where they live or anything else
Well it depends on your goals. If you're going to accept that the kids are turned against you and you are willing to let them go and live what has become their new reality, that being that you are some sort of bad person, then that's one thing and I am not faulting you in any way, that's the path lots of guys take and many years ago I did the same- after sending gifts and leaving messages for almost 3 years with no response.

But if you accept that the children have been brainwashed and are acting out of thoughts placed in their head by your exwife and you want to try to reconnect, then you do what you feel is necessary and that includes spending the money that is necessary to find them and ignoring the fact that they don't want to hear from you.

Like I said I'm not judging just pointing out that there are two paths that can be taken. One will almost certainly lead to never hearing from your kids again, the other gives you a chance at setting the record straight and getting them back in your life.
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post #21 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 04:01 AM Thread Starter
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Re: almost 6 years later

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Well it depends on your goals. If you're going to accept that the kids are turned against you and you are willing to let them go and live what has become their new reality, that being that you are some sort of bad person, then that's one thing and I am not faulting you in any way, that's the path lots of guys take and many years ago I did the same- after sending gifts and leaving messages for almost 3 years with no response.

But if you accept that the children have been brainwashed and are acting out of thoughts placed in their head by your exwife and you want to try to reconnect, then you do what you feel is necessary and that includes spending the money that is necessary to find them and ignoring the fact that they don't want to hear from you.

Like I said I'm not judging just pointing out that there are two paths that can be taken. One will almost certainly lead to never hearing from your kids again, the other gives you a chance at setting the record straight and getting them back in your life.
have pretty much accepted that they dont want to know me, so am doing what I can to move on, though I still try and keep in contact with them
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