Apathy - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

User Tag List

 39Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 12:19 PM
Forum Supporter
 
SunCMars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: North Coast Nationalist-burg, U.S.A.
Posts: 1,885
Re: Apathy

You are flopping your arms in a shallow, chlorinated swimming pool.

Go to the local dive store.

Walk past all the skin diving equipment. You will outgrow those pronto, Tonto.

Go to the certified diver owner. Tell him you want deep diving gear.

He will give books on Philosophy, Ethics, Poetry, Biography's and a few good Scientific articles to "bone up" on.

Go to the desert and read these books at 'your' leisure. Forty days and Forty nights should be enough.

On a clear night, in that desert lay a tarp down. Set a pillow at one end.

Lay on your back, have a pair of good binoculars at your side.

Look at 'your' Universe, think about 'your' place in 'your' Universe.

Count your lucky stars....burn them into 'your' memory. And never complain about another thing.


This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 12:25 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by jb02157 View Post
I think as time passes that the "ahh so what's" will start going away. I don't see, though, in going through a divorce you have more money than you ever had. All my research says that if I did get divorced I would be in the midst of poverty. If I could be in your position right now, I'd file tomorrow.
Well, I am no longer supporting two life styles. I have greatly simplified my life, down sized my home and have more time to make money as opposed to being available for the various things I did in the past to try to make her happy. For instance I don't take a week off (which actually means more like three weeks when you consider what it entails to take a week off as a self employed person) during my busiest part of the year to go to a beach in season. I am only paying for one cell phone, one car insurance premium, a smaller house, I keep the house temp to my liking and don't have to pay exorbitant electric bills because every house in the light is on, etc etc.
My kids are grown, so that also factors into it, but generally since I am in control of my life now, I am only responsible for it, and no one else's.
So I make more, pay less and have more left over (lot's more)

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-22-2016, 12:27 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by KJ_Simmons View Post
Have you tried working on yourself, and by that I mean your fitness/body? It's a great way to invest in yourself and while very hard work, is very rewarding when you see results.
I have worked out all of my life. The last thing I want is a layer of physical ailments piled on top of the emotional ones

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
 
post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-23-2016, 09:28 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 365
Re: Apathy

No advice at all; but only a supportive "I get it" too post. Just when you think you have your life planned out; then something happens to change the course of it. I like to think of it as taking a little break from it all since a lot has happened to get me to this particular place. My fear at times is not getting out of it; but as life goes and has proven before, it will hopefully change up soon.
5Creed is offline  
post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-23-2016, 09:41 AM
Member
 
BlueWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 579
Re: Apathy

Ynot,
Honestly, it sounds like you are depressed, meaning that you can't take joy from rewarding experiences. I know it sounds crazy, since you look at your life and you feel like you should be happy. But sometimes are brains don't do what we expected. I would start with talk therapy and go from their. It's possible you might need some medication to jump start you being able to feel again.
BlueWoman is offline  
post #21 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 08:23 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Here is another thought. Am I really feeling apathy or just normal emotions after so man years of being on emotional overload. Maybe this is my true baseline and I just need to adapt to it. Because I really don't want the drama that I have just experienced.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #22 of 42 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 01:00 PM
Member
 
Chuck71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Where I lay my head
Posts: 6,444
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
Here is another thought. Am I really feeling apathy or just normal emotions after so man years of being on emotional overload. Maybe this is my true baseline and I just need to adapt to it. Because I really don't want the drama that I have just experienced.
You are the sole leader of your own life.... the world can follow or go F themselves.

Crude but if you strip it all down.... I make choices I don't want to but I know I have to, for me

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
Chuck71 is online now  
post #23 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:08 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,414
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
Here is another thought. Am I really feeling apathy or just normal emotions after so man years of being on emotional overload. Maybe this is my true baseline and I just need to adapt to it. Because I really don't want the drama that I have just experienced.
That is precisely my thinking toward myself. I was married for twenty years to a woman who acted hysterical about everything, the good and the bad. Her emotions were so over the top I think I learned to remain calm with very measured reactions, and now that's my normal. There are things in my life I enjoy a great deal, but to declare I'm "passionate" about something would be a stretch, and maybe that's because I view passion as extreme, and to me extreme means hysteria, which I do not like.

Huh, never really thought along those lines before....maybe I am damaged. lol
Cooper is offline  
post #24 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:21 AM
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,180
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
Here is another thought. Am I really feeling apathy or just normal emotions after so man years of being on emotional overload. Maybe this is my true baseline and I just need to adapt to it. Because I really don't want the drama that I have just experienced.
meh, it just sounds like you haven't done any real introspection to find out what to DO with your new life. You've tried on stuff but it's all superficial. Maybe it's just time for a new life. You have nothing tying you there - picture some OTHER life for yourself. For example, I'm kicking myself for not moving down to South America or the Caribbean in my 20s and buying a boat rental company and living a fun life for the rest of my life. What else could you be doing with this one life you have?
turnera is offline  
post #25 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooper View Post
That is precisely my thinking toward myself. I was married for twenty years to a woman who acted hysterical about everything, the good and the bad. Her emotions were so over the top I think I learned to remain calm with very measured reactions, and now that's my normal. There are things in my life I enjoy a great deal, but to declare I'm "passionate" about something would be a stretch, and maybe that's because I view passion as extreme, and to me extreme means hysteria, which I do not like.

Huh, never really thought along those lines before....maybe I am damaged. lol
I hear you brother. My therapist agreed with me, that maybe it isn't that I am apathetic as much as it is like an addict coming off a high. The world just seems so mundane now that I am not being prodded to constantly worry about everything just because she did. My ex was the queen of convention, she always colored within the lines and never thought outside of the box. She bought into whatever hype was being spewed at that point. I tend to look at things critically and question motivations, for that I was considered to not be passionate. Never mind that when I did express passion it was written off as invalid.


At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #26 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:31 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
meh, it just sounds like you haven't done any real introspection to find out what to DO with your new life. You've tried on stuff but it's all superficial. Maybe it's just time for a new life. You have nothing tying you there - picture some OTHER life for yourself. For example, I'm kicking myself for not moving down to South America or the Caribbean in my 20s and buying a boat rental company and living a fun life for the rest of my life. What else could you be doing with this one life you have?
Actually I do have something keeping me here - my kids. As far as introspection, I have done way more than I ever wanted to. I have some ideas of the direction I want to take my life, but just haven't moved in that direction yet. I really think I need to settle into being me. Probably for the first time in my life.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #27 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:44 AM
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,180
Re: Apathy

I thought you said your kids were grown.
turnera is offline  
post #28 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 12:20 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
I thought you said your kids were grown.
Nice call.
browser is offline  
post #29 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,870
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
I thought you said your kids were grown.
My kids are grown. That doesn't mean I don't want to see them. In fact I want to be a part of their lives. I didn't realize a parents love ended when the kids grow up.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #30 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 12:42 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Apathy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post

My kids are grown. That doesn't mean I don't want to see them. In fact I want to be a part of their lives.
Do THEY want you to be a part of theirs?

That's all that matters unfortunately.
browser is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Random Thoughts Of An Introvert EllisRedding The Social Spot 167 01-12-2017 04:37 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome