Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Is there any way that you could keep the payments the way they are and help your daughter on the side?
I have the financial resources to do that if necessary but realize I'm not only paying thousands in child support of which she gets "some" benefit although I'm not clear on exactly how much she's receiving, I'm also contributing to her college education- I pay 90% of it, the ex pays 10% but her share just comes out of her share of the child support, she remains unemployed. Because college tuition, room and board is completely paid, she has no other expenses, and she's considering taking out a student loan which isn't needed for school so she intends to use it for a car. Seems fair enough given the present circumstances.

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post #17 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Do you actually even try to help the OP or do you post for artistic purposes?
Do you actually even try to help the Op or do you just make random posts for your own amusement?
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post #18 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:09 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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she's considering taking out a student loan which isn't needed for school so she intends to use it for a car. Seems fair enough given the present circumstances.
I would caution against that. If you get a student loan and don't use the money for tuition, board or books this can be considered fraud.

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post #19 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:10 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Do you actually even try to help the OP or do you post for artistic purposes?
A fair question deserves a fair answer.

Mostly for artistic reasons. 60/40 artistic to objective help. I fail to deliver on occasion.

TAM is hell. Adding a little levity should not be a problem. But, of course, it is. The nail that pops up from the flat floor must be pounded down.

I do care. Next year I will likely move on.

In summary:There are more than enough regular and pragmatic posters. Having Don Quixote ride roughshod at/on the scene keeps the joint alive.

I apologize for any unjust pain that I may proffer.

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post #20 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:17 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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I would caution against that. If you get a student loan and don't use the money for tuition, board or books this can be considered fraud.
I didn't know that, this may change things.

Edited to add. After searching the topic it doesn't seem to be an issue although you are technically correct, the money is supposed to be used only for school related expenses.

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A fair question deserves a fair answer.
It might however an off topic post meant to instigate deserves a banning by the poster.
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post #21 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:19 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

Just stay on schedule for the final four payments. Doesn't sound like it's worth it to try and shake things up at this point.
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post #22 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Just stay on schedule for the final four payments. Doesn't sound like it's worth it to try and shake things up at this point.
Well I've already "shaken things up" but she doesn't appear interested and once again her actions continue to baffle me. From what I understand she's almost broke you'd think she'd jump at the chance to grab a load of cash and yet.. nothing.

Go figure.
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post #23 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 05:43 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

You'd think she'd want the pay out but it's also being offered based on her helping buy a vehicle for you daughter. She probably doesn't want to do that with the money. If she doesn't take your offer then the final 4 payments go to her just like she is used to.
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post #24 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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You'd think she'd want the pay out but it's also being offered based on her helping buy a vehicle for you daughter. She probably doesn't want to do that with the money. If she doesn't take your offer then the final 4 payments go to her just like she is used to.
Yes that's pretty much what I'm thinking at this point.
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post #25 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 06:28 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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A fair question deserves a fair answer.



Mostly for artistic reasons. 60/40 artistic to objective help. I fail to deliver on occasion.



TAM is hell. Adding a little levity should not be a problem. But, of course, it is. The nail that pops up from the flat floor must be pounded down.



I do care. Next year I will likely move on.



In summary:There are more than enough regular and pragmatic posters. Having Don Quixote ride roughshod at/on the scene keeps the joint alive.



I apologize for any unjust pain that I may proffer.


We want you to stay. You can give clear advice and you are very smart. Your deliberate style though may be lost with a lot of OPs. The veterans know you but the newbies may be confused.

Don't move on.

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post #26 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 07:31 PM
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Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Do you actually even try to help the Op or do you just make random posts for your own amusement?


Random posts for my amusement. Two peas in a pod.
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post #27 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 08:21 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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I'm not sure if this is a vent or asking for advice so take it as you may.
If it were me I would buy your daughter good used car.

If you cannot afford it, then tell her to make the payments as she can.

This is something your DD would remember for life. Her Dad was there when she needed him.

A lifelong investment for pennies on the dollar.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

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post #28 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 09:04 PM
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Cool Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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After tomorrow's 1st of the month payment I've got exactly 4 child support payments remaining, the total due is about $8000.

My daughter lives out of state, she just got a job and needs a way to get there, she's working on getting her drivers license and expects to have it shortly and she wants to buy a car.

I told her and my ex that I'd be willing to prepay the support so my daughter can get a car, however my ex must a) agree to it in writing and b) forward most of the funds to my daughter.

Sounds simple, right? Problem is my ex has been keeping the bulk of the child support even though my daughter hasn't once lived with her since she moved out of state a few years ago. The problem is my ex is selfish, greedy, and lazy and hasn't worked in years because she's living off of generous child support payments. My daughter is concerned that if I give the lump sum to my ex she'll get less then whatever small amounts she gets from the monthly payments.

I'm trying to convince the ex that this final payment is in the best interests of our daughter who of course we both love and care about and we both want her to succeed and she needs transportation in order to do that but my ex is seriously mentally disturbed (in my opinion) and only sees the rapidly decreasing incoming flow of free money.

I'm not sure if this is a vent or asking for advice so take it as you may.
Get with your attorney on this ASAP!

A lot of family court judges in various states and jurisdictions will not sign off on this, more especially if there remains a valid question as to whether the children would receive the mandated monthly child support by paying in a lump sum rather than incrementally, as prescribed by their laws!

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post #29 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 09:23 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

Your ex wife is not working and living off of your child support payments? Ugh. It amazes me that people like this are permitted to have custody of their kids.
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post #30 of 110 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 09:27 PM
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Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment

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Congratulations for serving your indentured servitude.

C.S. is justice due..to the child.
As a child of divorce who father paid child I don't agree. If you have a child be a man and support it without complaining about it. The child lives with one parent primarily they need to be supported. If the kid isn't getting the money that's a different issue but that an issue with the parent not the child or support. Assuming they are then what would be a better idea, I'm all ears?

Last edited by sokillme; 11-30-2016 at 09:34 PM.
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