Re: Trying to get exwife to agree to lump sum child support prepayment
You see it as heavy handed; I see it as practical and a lesson in life that she needs to learn. I shrug a lot. When people pout at me, I shrug. Sucks to be you. When people guilt me, I shrug. I guess you'll find a better way to do it, huh? Don't want to work after I got you the car? Shrug. Doesn't look like you need it anymore, since you're not even walking a full mile a day at school. I'll sell it and save the money for a graduation gift.
The key is to keep the emotion out of it. And to remind her that you WANT to help her out, but that requires respect. If she takes the car and doesn't return respect for it, guess what? No car.
You sound like you're desperate for her respect and affection and care, and are afraid of making her mad. No good will come from that. She's still a kid; you've got decades of time with her in the future. If she's being a putz, let her be a putz; without you. She'll eventually realize you're being loving AND respectful of her by expecting the same from her. Eventually, she'll see you as the stable, good parent and return to you. It just may not be in the next few years. I didn't talk to my mom much at all between the time I was 18 and 21 because of my boyfriend's influence. But she remained the same steady, loving person she always was, and I grew up a bit and started seeing that, and 'returned' to her.
You can't force that. And you sure can't buy it.