Going Out for the First Time - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

User Tag List

 50Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 02:55 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
AVR1962's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,139
Going Out for the First Time

Tonight I am attending a singles ****tail party. This is something I will be attending by myself and will not know anyone there. It is the first time since my divorce that I have put myself in a situation to meet single men. I am feeling rather apprehensive, to say the very least!!! My daughters are being very supportive and told me that they are glad I am getting out of my comfort zone. I know I have to get out and meet people. It just feels strange!

AVR1962 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 03:09 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Emerging Buddhist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: World-wide
Posts: 1,451
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Bully for you!
Emerging Buddhist is offline  
post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 03:13 PM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,413
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Have fun!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
MJJEAN is offline  
 
post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 03:25 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,060
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Just relax and enjoy yourself.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 03:26 PM
Member
 
*Deidre*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,178
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Hope you have an awesome time!!

Every now and then, you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. - unknown

I'm newly married
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
*Deidre* is offline  
post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 03:56 PM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,386
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Yay! Have fun!

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is offline  
post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 06:39 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,676
Cool Re: Going Out for the First Time

Get out there and enjoy yourself, Sweetheart!

And come back on here and encourage me to go do the very same!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
arbitrator is online now  
post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 12:15 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Deep South
Posts: 371
Re: Going Out for the First Time

How did it go?
Absurdist is offline  
post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 08:41 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
AVR1962's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,139
Re: Going Out for the First Time

All the butterflies for nothing! I was rather shocked at what I saw last night and I didn't stay long. This was a party with mixed ages but a majority looked over 60 and most of them looked like they had lived a sedentary lifestyle, both men and women. I saw what I felt was sadly desperate and lonely people trying to make connections in a situation they were not comfortable with. Men out dancing that you could tell had not, maybe ever, dance before. I thinking good for them for getting out and trying but just my type and not my crowd of people. I am active, have been active, love to hike and be outdoors so it is important to me that I meet men who are active as well. I spent far too many years with a man who wanted to just sit and seeing these men reminded me of my ex.

I didn't want the whole evening to be a loss so I went to a brew house, a place that I know has some very good sangria. I had not eaten yet so I sat at the bar and had a couple drinks and ate my dinner. A gentleman sat beside me and we chatted for about an hour. No chemistry on my part but it was nice to just chat.
AVR1962 is offline  
post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 10:49 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,386
Re: Going Out for the First Time

@AVR1962 If you're looking for men who are active, you're probably not going to find them at a singles c0cktail party... because they don't have to go to a singles party to meet women. And they don't have the time--because they are out doing those activities!

I would recommend checking out meetup.com for activity groups that coincide with your interests. It's not a dating/singles site, but there will be single people who attend. You might meet someone interesting and you might not, but if you don't, it won't feel like a wasted evening.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is offline  
post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 12:54 PM
Member
 
Síocháin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
Re: Going Out for the First Time

I think it's great you went. You have and showed a lot of courage. I like the idea of meetup and I plan to do that eventually. Right now though, I need to figure me out. You seem to be way ahead of me there. I know what I did (codependency) but not why. I thought I was over and accepted my FOO a long time ago.
Síocháin is offline  
post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 05:18 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,060
Re: Going Out for the First Time

If I may add in regards to MeetUp - stay away from the groups aimed towards singles. One of the first things I did was join a group called SinglesMingle. The idea was that everyone on the room was single and available. I only attended a few meeting. I met one woman thru the group, who was there as a guest. Most all of the other women in the group were desperately seeking ANYONE. I stopped attending, when it became apparent that the simple act of saying hello implied some degree of being attracted to that person. Ironically I met some new male friends thru the group, who I now go out with once a week for dinner and drinks. One guy I have taken a few motorcycle rides with, another who I visited in Colorado after he moved, Another who I golf with a lot and another I hang out with occassionally.
So I guess my word to the wise, is avoid singles groups or social groups and sign up for activity related groups.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
Ynot is offline  
post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
AVR1962's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,139
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
If I may add in regards to MeetUp - stay away from the groups aimed towards singles. One of the first things I did was join a group called SinglesMingle. The idea was that everyone on the room was single and available. I only attended a few meeting. I met one woman thru the group, who was there as a guest. Most all of the other women in the group were desperately seeking ANYONE. I stopped attending, when it became apparent that the simple act of saying hello implied some degree of being attracted to that person. Ironically I met some new male friends thru the group, who I now go out with once a week for dinner and drinks. One guy I have taken a few motorcycle rides with, another who I visited in Colorado after he moved, Another who I golf with a lot and another I hang out with occassionally.
So I guess my word to the wise, is avoid singles groups or social groups and sign up for activity related groups.
Your experience is much like my own. I could not believe my eyes last night. These people seemed so desperate and lonely, socially awkward and throwing themselves at each other. Not for me!
AVR1962 is offline  
post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-05-2016, 02:41 PM
Member
 
ne9907's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Narnia
Posts: 3,050
Re: Going Out for the First Time

C0cktail party was sensored... giggles

awwww... we all are looking for love. Do not knock these gatherings

I am attractive, financially stable, but I am a bit crazy and also socially awkward.... However whether a good thing or not, all I need to get laid is throw a text to randomguyinmycontacts....

I say Left, but mean Purple
ne9907 is offline  
post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-05-2016, 02:54 PM
Member
 
Yeswecan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 3,648
Re: Going Out for the First Time

Join a hiking group. There is one where I live. Hikes are organized all the time.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
Yeswecan is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Feeling a lot lost Mizzbak Coping with Infidelity 55 02-24-2017 08:04 AM
"Quality" Time in a Relationship EllisRedding General Relationship Discussion 40 11-06-2016 07:52 PM
First Post - Need help, *long Post* MrW General Relationship Discussion 92 10-12-2016 02:19 PM
Why the "red pill" is bitter tech-novelist Politics and Religion 591 09-23-2016 01:58 PM
Advises on Compromising on Time chrisl86 General Relationship Discussion 38 03-29-2016 04:14 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome