But I am just putting this out there.
I have been dating this woman for about 6 weeks. Early on we had a discussion about expectations. She said she still believed in the institution of marriage and that she would like to get married at some point. I told her I didn't and could see no real reason to marry at this point in my life.
Over the past several weeks, whenever we talk, she tells me she is really crazy about me and then asks if I am crazy about her. She has told me I am a great lover and then asks do I think she is a great lover. She has told me that she really misses me and then asks if I really miss her. The list goes on.
You have expressed your desire to not marry in a healthy way.
She is exhibiting insecurity and lack of impulse control.
My point is that I feel I am constantly being asked to validate her, even though she also tells me she would be fine if I decided to end it. We spent a lot of time together over Thanksgiving and I got sort of wigged out by being with just one person for that long of period of time. I chalked it up to me becoming used to being alone. We had a talk and she said she had the same feeling. So we decided to take things a little slower going forward.
Since then, the validation thing has only gotten worse. I think she is very insecure. She keeps telling me she does not want to get hurt. At the same time she keeps telling me she would be fine if I end it.
Validation has to come from the self. The hardest thing to do is be responsible for both person's emotions.
So on Saturday, I told her that I am uncomfortable continually being asked to validate her feelings by reciprocating. She asks and then expects a certain response. "I am really crazy about you! Are you crazy about me?" If I say "I enjoy spending time with you" It is usually followed with "You only enjoy being with me!? I am crazy about you!" So I told her, I cannot tell you I love you, because I do not. If you want me to say that, I am not going to lie! Her response was to get extremely upset. She started crying and said she had to go.
Generally speaking, I'd say that she is not self-happy. This means that her emotional self-regulation and management is probably a 60/100. Expect a lot of "innocent victimhood."
She called me back and told me she didn't want this to end and she was fine with moving forward. Then she said she had to go again. Then the texts started - she called me scum, said I was using her, told me I should be ashamed of myself etc etc.
The externalized negativity is a manipulative ploy. You are (in her world) supposed to go fix her feelings, backing down from what you said and chase her.
I finally replied with "WTH, I am just trying to be honest". The next day she sent me a text asking if I could call her. So I called her that evening. She said she was at a friends house having dinner and she would call me later. She did call me later, but my phone was turned off and I didn't see that she had called. I called her back and she didn't answer so I left her a voice mail. Then I saw I had a voice mail from her. She said I must be playing games since I wouldn't answer my phone. Then she texted me again that all of her friends said she should just move on. Then another text that I really mean a lot to her.
I just don't want the drama. I spent 24 years trying to be someone else to the detriment of who I am. I do not want to be in another relationship where I can not be honest. I understand that she may have expectations, but that doesn't mean I have to try to live up to them. So I am ending it.
She needs emotional retraining. This will NOT end without something along the lines of a therapeutic approach. This requires scores of hours of work on the self.