I already know what I should do - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 77 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by pattyreed2011 View Post
Can your thoughts be entwined in more interesting topics other than relationships that you don't want?

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My thoughts are entwined in more interesting topics. I am self employed. I made a substantial amount of money today. I researched and completed six jobs today. Tomorrow I plan to make even more. From there it just keeps building.
Oh, yeah, I went and had lunch with my daughter today, afterwards we ran to Walmart. We spent about an hour chatting over a nice lunch. We enjoyed a nice rambling discussion Later we drove to a nearby Walmart and bought snow scrapers for our cars. She even bought more Christmas lights. We had to look all over the store.
But before I left, I shoveled my drive first. When I got back I did it again. And then again later in the afternoon. Later I went for a nice hike in the falling snow, checking out the beautiful vistas that mother nature has gifted us today. When, I got back, shoveled it again. I salted it every time as well.
I practiced my guitar. I just started lessons about three months ago. I am learning so much. Working on chord changes, hammer downs and pull downs. Still can't get my warm ups down altogether, but I am getting better. I have another lesson tomorrow.
Yesterday was much the same except I had two inspections thrown into the mix, where I had to drive to an adjacent county. But I still completed five jobs
The day before that I was in a classroom teaching. Spending ten hours in front of about 45 students is somewhat daunting. It requires my absolute attention.
I don't know my thoughts seem to be pretty entwined in other more interesting topics than a relationship I do not want. But then, that's just me thinking.Really, who the heck do I think I am, claiming to know what I think?
Whodathunkit?


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Last edited by Ynot; 12-13-2016 at 07:40 PM.
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post #62 of 77 (permalink) Old 12-13-2016, 07:41 PM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
My thoughts are entwined in more interesting topics. I am self employed. I made a substantial amount of money today. I researched and completed six jobs today. Tomorrow I plan to make even more. From there it just keeps building. Oh, yeah, I went and had lunch with my daughter today. I shoveled my drive first. When I got back I did it again. And then again later in the afternoon. Later I went for a nice hike in the falling snow, checking out the beautiful vistas that mother nature has gifted us today. When, I got back, shoveled it again. I salted it every time as well. I practiced my guitar. I just started lessons about three months ago. I am learning so much.
Yesterday was much the same except I had two inspections thrown into the mix, where I had to drive to an adjacent county.
The day before that I was in a classroom teaching.
I don't know my thoughts seem to be pretty entwined in other more interesting topics than a relationship I do not want. But then, that's just me thinking.Really, who the heck do I think I am, claiming to know what I think?
Whodathunkit?
Oh wow! So what kind of books do you like to read? What do you teach?

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post #63 of 77 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 09:58 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

[QUOTE=Ynot;17043418 But then, that's just me thinking.Really, who the heck do I think I am, claiming to know what I think?
Whodathunkit?[/QUOTE]

As long as you keep thinking you are good.

Acting on impulse is fraught with danger. This is not you.

Good Job!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #64 of 77 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 10:05 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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As long as you keep thinking you are good.

Acting on impulse is fraught with danger. This is not you.

Good Job!
I asked my initial question by using the word thinking because I didn't want to use the word obsessing.

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post #65 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 09:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I already know what I should do

So I started this thread before Xmas. After all that happened, the woman in my post called me on the phone. She said I had completely misunderstood her. She claimed that she had not been talking about actually loving me. Instead, she said she loved having sex with me. I am not ready for a LTR just yet, so a FWB arrangement sounded fine with me. So we continued seeing each other once a week. usually on the week end, pretty much just to have sex. Well over the past couple of weeks she started back with the whole "I heart you, a lot!" and telling me how much she enjoys spending time with me (even though is has been almost completely spent having sex).
She had spent the night Friday night, but said she had to leave early on Saturday for a hair appointment. We went to dinner and she said some things that I took some offense to concerning my ex-wife and why she left me. She then made some other comments that irked me as well. I kept my mouth shut but it still bothered me.
After she left I found a sweater hanging on my door that she had forgot. I called her within minutes of her leaving. She didn't answer and never called me back until hours later. In the meantime I enjoyed my day. I went to break fast, did some paperwork, went to a gun and fishing show, did an inspection, meant my new neighbor, and then started planning out my new addition. About 6PM she texted me. I was busy and didn't answer. Then she called me about 20 minutes later.
She started off telling me about how bad her day was. She had just had a bad day. She didn't know why. I said I was sort she had a bad day. Apparently I didn't respond in whatever manner she wanted. So she got upset and started crying. I told, that since she didn't know why she had a bad day, I surely didn't know but I was still sorry she had had a bad day. Then she started carrying on about how I was just living my life and wasn't including her. I told her I was giving her all I could give her. I had other priorities. If she couldn't accept that I completely understood and would not be upset. So she started crying. She said she had to go. Ok Goodbye.
About 30 minutes later the texts started "**** YOU!" "You deserve the worst!", "You sick ****!", "I am so done with you!". I didn't respond. About two hours later I got a text about how sorry she was and how much she loved me. Then the next day another apology. Now I really know what I need to do. I learned a lot, and I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

8. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

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At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 11:49 AM.
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post #66 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 10:28 PM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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@Ynot made it clear that he's not interested in marriage at this point in his life.

That says enough. Who knows if it might change down the line? People dead set against marriage sometimes change their minds, who knows?

He made it clear that marriage is off the table indefinitely and possibly forever.

That's ALL he's gotta say.

They can think anything they want, and that's THEIR problem. Not his. Or any other guy who says he's not interested in marriage at that particular time, with no promises that things will change in the future.
If you know someone is misinterpreting you, it doesn't matter that you believe you are being honest. It's up to you to make sure the person truly understands you.

When he said "I'm not interested in marriage right now" she clearly understood there to be a caveat of "but maybe you can be the one to change that." And then he went and kept getting together with her, which is pretty much using her misinterpretation to forward his own agenda.
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post #67 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 10:47 PM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
So I started this thread before Xmas. After all that happened, the woman in my post called me on the phone. She said I had completely misunderstood her. She claimed that she had not been talking about actually loving me. Instead, she said she loved having sex with me. I am not ready for a LTR just yet, so a FWB arrangement sounded fine with me. So we continued seeing each other once a week. usually on the week end, pretty much just to have sex. Well over the past couple of weeks she started back with the whole "I heart you, a lot!" and telling me how much she enjoys spending time with me (even though is has been almost completely spent having sex).
She had spent the night Friday night, but said she had to leave early on Saturday for a hair appointment. We went to dinner and she said some things that I took some offense to concerning my ex-wife and why she left me. She then made some other comments that irked me as well. I kept my mouth shut but it still bothered me.
After she left I found a sweater hanging on my door that she had forgot. I called her within minutes of her leaving. She didn't answer and never called me back until hours later. In the meantime I enjoyed my day. I went to break fast, did some paperwork, went to a gun and fishing show, did an inspection, meant my new neighbor, and then started planning out my new addition. About 6PM she texted me. I was busy and didn't answer. Then she called me about 20 minutes later.
She started off telling me about how bad her day was. She had just had a bad day. She didn't know why. I said I was sort she had a bad day. Apparently I didn't respond in whatever manner she wanted. So she got upset and started crying. I told, that since she didn't know why she had a bad day, I surely didn't know but I was still sorry she had had a bad day. Then she started carrying on about how I was just living my life and wasn't including her. I told her I was giving her all I could give her. I had other priorities. If she couldn't accept that I completely understood and would not be upset. So she started crying. She said she had to go. Ok Goodbye.
About 30 minutes later the texts started "**** YOU!" "You deserve the worst!", "You sick ****!", "I am so done with you!". I didn't respond. About two hours later I got a text about how sorry she was and how much she loved me. Then the next day another apology. Now I really know what I need to do. I learned a lot, and I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Oh boy, why did you open that door again? I thought you were done with the drama her being so clingy entailed? Now, I'm really confused as to why you accepted her back in. Did you really think she was sane? When someone shows you crazy, believe them the first time and get as far away as you can ASAP.

I learned that the hard way by the way.


{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

8. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

February 21st is the deadline for full enforcement of the measure.

Posting Guidelines - Forum Rules (2016) }

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 11:47 AM.
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post #68 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 11:56 PM
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Re: I already know what I should do

I never learn.

I look in the mirror.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #69 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 06:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by Bibi1031 View Post
Oh boy, why did you open that door again? I thought you were done with the drama her being so clingy entailed? Now, I'm really confused as to why you accepted her back in. Did you really think she was sane? When someone shows you crazy, believe them the first time and get as far away as you can ASAP.

I learned that the hard way by the way.
Sex

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
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post #70 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:55 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
Sex
Yeah....there's already a handy proverb for this situation: Don't stick your d!ck in crazy.

There's a reason that's a thing.


You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi
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post #71 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:21 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Sex
...sigh...I get it, the little head was in charge.

Yeah, you live and learn. Hopefully you can rule out the little head next time because there will be other "next times". Those crazies come in batches!

The weird thing is that they are pretty much all the same. They think they can hook a man with sex and when it doesn't work that way, they turn nasty. The foul language is what gets me. If you play those games and you have not been able to trap a man with the web/sex/clingy spin you have going on, why the heck do blame it on the guys?

I don't even want to imagine how many sorry souls fell into that web for the same reason you did. Did you use protection? You may want to get STD tested. This gal has been around the block a couple of times now with the same results. Crazy indeed.

...as for those that think she was a "good gal" and he ruined her; you may ask him for the contact number so you may also get a dose of her lunacy. That should set you naive ones straight.

We are adults in adult relationships; you are responsible for your own $hit. Six weeks and already madly in love; "madly" being the operative word here.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #72 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 09:26 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post
I never learn.

I look in the mirror.
you, you, I like you sometimes; and sometimes, I like you even more!

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #73 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:50 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I already know what I should do

It was fun, while it lasted. Now it is over. I learned some more about myself. I didn't make a mistake. I learned a lesson (or two or three). Would I do it again? Probably. Why? Because I got out of it exactly what I needed. I wasn't ready for a committed relationship, I still don't think I am, so I probably aren't still. But I was honest from the get go and will be with the next and the one after her and the one after her. Some insights about myself were gained and my confidence has improved both from the relationship and the end itself.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
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post #74 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: I already know what I should do

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It was fun, while it lasted. Now it is over. I learned some more about myself. I didn't make a mistake. I learned a lesson (or two or three). Would I do it again? Probably. Why? Because I got out of it exactly what I needed. I wasn't ready for a committed relationship, I still don't think I am, so I probably aren't still. But I was honest from the get go and will be with the next and the one after her and the one after her. Some insights about myself were gained and my confidence has improved both from the relationship and the end itself.
Well, to each their own. Wasting your time at your age is your business. She is giving you what most like her give. Peeps like her are a dime a dozen. If you like cheap, hot and heavy on the () sack, I mean drama, then so be it. You will be treated the same way when you don't fall for their tricks...more insults and foul language that is. They have potty morals as well as potty mouths.

On the pool of there are many fish on the sea; you are getting the bottom dwellers that put out and say you are the best they have had with the many they put out for.

Enjoy the banging and all that comes with it!

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #75 of 77 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I already know what I should do

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Originally Posted by Bibi1031 View Post
Well, to each their own. Wasting your time at your age is your business. She is giving you what most like her give. Peeps like her are a dime a dozen. If you like cheap, hot and heavy on the () sack, I mean drama, then so be it. You will be treated the same way when you don't fall for their tricks...more insults and foul language that is. They have potty morals as well as potty mouths.

On the pool of there are many fish on the sea; you are getting the bottom dwellers that put out and say you are the best they have had with the many they put out for.

Enjoy the banging and all that comes with it!
Its all good, except for the part about wasting my time. I didn't waste any time. I learned a lesson. It would only have been wasted time had I not learned anything from it. The last thing I intend to do is waste the rest of my life waiting until I am healed, the time is right, things are better, etc etc. You have one life to live. Make the most of it.

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
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