Need Advice: Ex-wife False Allegations Involving Children - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
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Re: Need Advice: Ex-wife False Allegations Involving Children

Ugh, I'm all too familiar with those kinds of exchanges. The words, deflection and lack of accountability. I think in a way, she trained me in our marriage, o not expect an answer to a direct question. In fact, simple direct question (when given to her one on one) always lead to either tears, or avoidance.

I remember telling her one time when our first born was about a year old "I'd like for us to all spend more time together."... she said "what do you mean?" I said "When I get home, the three of us - a walk, or games or something. Don't you think it would be fun?" she said "it's difficult being a stay at home mom." so I said "I didn't say it wasn't" then she said "well why are you always putting me down?" ...

Then we start talking at length about her troubles... and I'm left feeling like a bad father, for asking that we all spend more time together. Over time it wears you down to the point that you just start to do what she wants, and avoid asking questions all together.

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post #32 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 01:23 PM
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Re: Need Advice: Ex-wife False Allegations Involving Children

And the building of the martyr and victim complex. The things is though, with people like this, their reality changes moment by moment, and there is no building up any pools of good will, or favors to turn in, such as you giving up some time for her to do something special in expectation of her doing the same. While she might, and it's a big might, give up her time in the future, it will be her making some grand sacrifice with an expectation on HER end that you reciprocate, but remembering that you had done the same earlier will not even enter her mind, because in her never happened.

"Let's never stop having sex. We're so good at it, we OWE it to sex to never stop having it."
-My wife

Last edited by samyeagar; 12-22-2016 at 01:30 PM.
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