What am I doing - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #16 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 12:14 PM
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Re: What am I doing

Enjoy it!!! Seriously, you are mirroring my experience. DH and I booked a trip to Vegas after a week or so of dating. We were there and we had only been together a month. I didn't even realize it was that fast until I looked back at FB photos! When I realized it later I was like...OMG, we planned a trip together that fast?!? We had a blast! You will too!!! Don't over analyze too much. Let it happen.


Ciao,

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post #17 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What am I doing

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Enjoy it!!! Seriously, you are mirroring my experience. DH and I booked a trip to Vegas after a week or so of dating. We were there and we had only been together a month. I didn't even realize it was that fast until I looked back at FB photos! When I realized it later I was like...OMG, we planned a trip together that fast?!? We had a blast! You will too!!! Don't over analyze too much. Let it happen.
Thank you Spicy!

I am the Queen of Overanalyzation, so I will definitely keep that in mind.
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post #18 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 03:28 PM
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Re: What am I doing

It's great that you were able to have this deep a connection this early on. Some people try for years and don't get this far. Keep taking it slow and see what happens but everything seems to look so good right now.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #19 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 06:46 PM
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Re: What am I doing

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Thank you Spicy!

I am the Queen of Overanalyzation, so I will definitely keep that in mind.
Wait! When did I lose my title!?!?!

Ciao,

Spicy
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post #20 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 07:20 PM
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Re: What am I doing

A heart that does not venture beyond the safety of the walls it has built may feel safe but loneliness makes for very long days and very cold nights.

Peace and long life
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post #21 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 09:37 AM
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Re: What am I doing

Enjoy the moments, enjoy everything~

I say Left, but mean Purple
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post #22 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 09:38 AM
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Re: What am I doing

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A heart that does not venture beyond the safety of the walls it has built may feel safe but loneliness makes for very long days and very cold nights.
dude.... I LOVE THIS!

I say Left, but mean Purple
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post #23 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: What am I doing

Find out whether or not he's ever been married; if he has, find out why he's no longer married.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #24 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:25 PM
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Re: What am I doing

Yeah, that's the only red flag I see.
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post #25 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 02:27 PM
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Re: What am I doing

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Thanks so much everyone for the support and for listening to me

I am flying high but also very cautious. I know he would drive or fly out here next weekend if I asked him, and I kind of got the feeling that maybe he was waiting for me to ask. I would love to see him, but I feel like it is so much so fast. I'm scared that it will all disappear.

I wanted 2017 to be my year, but I never dreamed it would happen the very first day of the year.

He and I didn't know each other very well 20+ years ago. So it would be more accurate to say that he had a crush on me rather than being "in love" with me. I barely knew him. I just remember that our mutual friends kept telling me he was totally head over heels for me. Once at a wedding reception Christopher's wife (Chris is his best friend) was drunk and she was talking LOUDLY about this man and how he was in love with me. She kept going on and on.

He asked me if I would go with him to Vegas in February for a few days, to play around and to see Diana Ross live. I asked him which days in February and he said "the middle". Now I find out that the concert is February 14th. Why not just say "Valentine's day"? That's the kind of stuff that confuses me about him. I feel like he can read my mind but I have no idea what's in his head.

@225985 .... the flood car drove all the way here like a dream. Maybe this will be my year after all.
He may have avoided saying "Valentines Day" in case you thought he was rushing you. Just a thought.

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post #26 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-07-2017, 09:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What am I doing

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Find out whether or not he's ever been married; if he has, find out why he's no longer married.
I have always known the answer to that (we have mutual friends). He never married. He dated some, but said he never found the right person to marry.

I had to jump in here and give a quick update. We had decided we would not see each other until the weekend in February. So this morning he calls (EARLY) and says, Can I fly down there to you for a couple of days? Umm, hell yes!!!

My daughter is gone for the weekend, so it's just us and the dog. He did some things around my house including hanging my HEAVY wall clock, installing some light fixtures. Then he took some measurements in my kitchen and we went to a cabinetmaker who is going to do custom cabinets for me. And argued back and forth (in a good natured way) about which cabinets would look best. LOL About halfway through that he burst out laughing and said "we sound like a married couple".

Now about to start a movie, fireplace going, FREEZING cold and snow outside, cozy here. Eating homemade chicken and noodles and crusty bread with a good chardonnay. THAT is the way I like to spend my nights.

I can't believe this is my life. I hope I don't wake up from this dream. 2015 and 2016 were such horrible hell on earth that this seems like a fantasy.

Have to go, I hope everyone is having a good start to the year!
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post #27 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-07-2017, 10:08 PM
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Re: What am I doing

Sounds wonderful.
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post #28 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-08-2017, 11:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What am I doing

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Sounds wonderful.
Thank you turnera
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post #29 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 06:09 AM
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Re: What am I doing

Hi Hope Good Luck and enjoy it and yes watch for signs but is it possible that because of things you have been through that you think you dont deserve to be treated like a queen?
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post #30 of 38 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 10:54 AM Thread Starter
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Hi Hope Good Luck and enjoy it and yes watch for signs but is it possible that because of things you have been through that you think you dont deserve to be treated like a queen?
Hi Blaine, yes I think you hit that nail on the head.

After dropping Darrin at the airport last night, I got SO angry. At my ex-bf, but mostly at myself. A year and a half of living like that! Every day in that relationship was a battle. An accusation, some sort of drama that had nothing to do with building a relationship or any future. I became a person I HATED.

In contrast, this is a NORMAL relationship. Not that he has me on a pedestal (okay well maybe a little, for now). But because we move towards our goals, if that makes sense. I am thinking forward and planning and enjoying life (not just him, but MY life) rather than battling through every day and trying to defend and explain myself. I am purchasing a historic house a few blocks from me - I'll move into the main house and rent out the third floor apartment and put my current house on the market. In 2.5 years when I'm ready to move from here, I will have it ready to sell.

He is just THERE, if that makes sense. At the end of the day, even though he's 700 miles away right now, he's there. Just one phone call away. (That's why it was so incredible that he picked that song). He knows I am here for him, and I know he is there. We don't have to talk on the phone five hours a night to verify it. We don't argue or fuss or fight. We know. It makes ALL the difference.

Last edited by Hope Shimmers; 01-09-2017 at 12:16 PM.
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