You should always fold a "Why?"
After going through a divorce and separation, I find myself pondering what was and what could have been. Usually not a good game to play, but it's 2am and I've got the flu.
Anyway, I find that most people betrayed by theirgq spouses feel very unfulfilled. Lalalalala, I was living my life and wham, punch to the gut. Ok, things are over now, finances separated, kids schedule worked out...now that everything has settled down...you ponder "Why?". Maybe it isn't at this point. I am sure it had come up various times through the emotional trauma, but now your mind is somewhat at ease and you really want to know why. Why is a suckers bet. It's fools gold and you should ALWAYS fold a Why. What do I mean by fold, well, I'll explain it.
"Why" is like a hand that cannot win in Texas Hold 'Em. If you don't know TH or poker, it won't matter cause I'll do a masterful job of illustrating my point. As far as I can tell, there are 4 viable answers to the question "Why?" When posed to your ex. Imagine you are playing Hold Em with 5 friends. The cards are dealt and you have one of the following answers of "Why?" In your hand.
Answer 1: What? What are you talking about?
This answer is equivalent to a 2-7 off suit. What? Really, you dealt me that garbage? You won't even acknowledge my question appropriately? Thanks for making me look pathetic. That's what you get when you stay in with a 2-7 off suit.
Answer 2: Their version of the truth. I did it because you weren't there for me, or your parents, or you are controlling or...you get the point.
This is equivalent to a 5-9 suited. Look, all I need are 3 gut shot cards and I have a chance for a flush. This hand rarely wins. You got garbage back from your spouse, stuff you already knew was wrong or overblown and it does nothing for you with respect to winning the WSOP bracelet.
Answer 3: The truthiness, but where you are the bad guy. Well, you always were playing video games, out with your bros, watching porn...
This answer is like a K-5 off suit. Man, it looks so tastey and that king could match up on the board, but your low kicker and bad odds do nothing for you. This is because you already know all this stuff. You know you ****ed up. You know you need to get better, but you were just hoping that maybe, just maybe that K paired on the flip and the 5 on the river. Yeah, not going to happen.
Answer 4: The real truth. I don't know, I ****ed up and I'll regret it every day of my life.
Wow, this is like gold in your hands. That A-6 suited or 7-7 (this has two that are similar). These are often the worst possible hands in poker. Why? Because they keep you in long enough, tantalizing you, making you think the big payoff will come on the river, and they are almost always second best. And in poker, second best is a loss. And second best can often mean an All-In bet where you lose everything. You think it is great, but really, it's just reality. They realized that they ****ed up, but it doesn't change why or who they are. It's fools gold.
All 4 of those answers are losers. There is no winner. There is no answer to "Why?" That results in pocket aces. Can you possibly still win? Absolutely. But now that the odds are against you and you'll likely get nothing that you were hoping for. Fold all of those hands and move on to a real winner.