And don't be surprised if RE goes underground and disappears for a few days after the fact in order to digest everything that happened
You called it, @Ynot
. He hasn't totally gone underground, as we just spent an hour on the phone. He's worried about Flower--she hasn't really been eating. He called the vet, and the vet didn't seem worried, just said, "Make sure she's getting enough water and she's at least getting her pain meds." My guess is it's a combo of the pain and residual swelling from the surgery (both times I've had surgery, I didn't eat anything for 2-3 days after, except when I was able to force down a smoothie), but Real Estate is worried. Plus, he's dealing with a huge clusterfvck at work... another agent at the brokerage retired, and he inherited her rental accounts. There's only 4 accounts, but there isn't any paperwork anywhere in her office for any of the 4--no leases, no management agreements, he doesn't even have account numbers to deposit the rent checks. He spent the entire day going through ALL the retired agent's files trying to find this stuff, and it's nowhere, which presents a HUGE problem. He's supposed to be going to Africa a week from tomorrow, so he needs to get all this stuff figured out quick, oh, and he's supposed to take Flowers to get her stitches out in two weeks, but... he will be in Africa. And he has a new tenant moving into one of his units like 2 days after he gets back, so he has to get all that sorted out before he goes. And he really doesn't want to go to Africa, he's only going because it's his friend's wedding--travel stresses him out. He's just super, super stressed out. And telling me about everything on one hand allowed him to vent, but it also stressed him out more because he was thinking about everything.
And he was like, "Maybe you shouldn't come over this weekend... but I'll be gone the next two weekends... but I don't want to lose my sh!t this weekend and take it out on you." It's all too much, all together at the same time. And he already feels bad, because we were supposed to have lunch together yesterday (I was working from home), and he forgot because he was dealing with all this other sh!t. So I said, "Of course I want to come over and I want to see you, but I don't want to add to your stress. Let's just play it by ear and see how you feel tomorrow. I have some work to do this weekend, so either I do it at home, or I bring my laptop to your place, both are fine by me. If you are starting to feel overwhelmed, you let me know, and I can leave for a couple hours, or whatever you need. We'll figure it out."
And I also know that he's worried about his temper with me being there. When he gets stressed or upset, he will lash out. He knows he does it, he knows it isn't healthy, but it's a bad behavior that he learned from his FOO, and it happens before he can stop it from coming out... and he knows it affects me, and that I don't like it. So that's another stressor for him--he's worried that he will get overwhelmed and take it out on me--and he doesn't want to do that. It's the last thing he wants to do.
Obviously, the timing is bad--but that's why he's stressed about it. If I don't get to see him this weekend, I hope at least we'll get to spend some time together before he leaves next Friday. But if we don't... it's not intentional, it's not about me, it's not a problem with us.