The Singles of TAM 2.0 - Page 30 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

User Tag List

 715Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #436 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 09:36 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

I have no idea about the entertainment biz, thats why I'm studying! Theres so much to learn even the basics! I want to get into the industry with a solid foundation.

But now I just want to retire but I cant

I hardly have enough time these days to do anything and the most I've been able to squeeze out with my daughter was half a day and girlfriend just 2 hours!

RandomDude is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #437 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 10:52 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,396
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

So, I've started calling Real Estate "Boo" as a bit of a pet name. I started doing it, sort of kidding around, because it feels a little urban and twenty-something silly. I had to explain to him what it meant, because I named my car Boo a long time ago, and he had never heard it before. But, surprise! He loves it when I call him Boo. Last weekend, something was pushing my buttons a bit in regards to my feelings of security in our relationship (it wasn't anything he had done, it was more of an abstract thing), and we were talking about it before falling asleep. We were spooning, and he squeezed me tight, and he said, "You don't have to worry. I'm your dude. I'm your boo. I'm not going anywhere." And I said to him last night, "You've really latched onto this Boo thing. I'm surprised. You really like it, don't you?" And he said, "I do! I really like it. But sometimes, I have to stop myself from saying, 'Hey, Yogi!' Or I might have to start calling you Cindy. That was Yogi Bear's girlfriend."

It was just really sweet.

A very good friend of his (a former roommate), who happens to share my birthday, is coming to town ON my birthday and staying with Real Estate for a few days. Usually, this means that I won't get to see him until his friend leaves town--that's how it's been since we've gotten together, whenever a friend visits. But this time is different. He's really excited for me to meet his friend, and is planning all kinds of stuff for us to do together: an escape room (including a few of my friends, and one or two of RE's friends whom I haven't met yet), a tree-tops adventure course, go-carting, and miniature golf. It seems like he's starting to being me into other parts of his life, whereas before it always felt like he kept things compartmentalized. This is a very good thing.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #438 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 01:20 PM
Member
 
TheGoodGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,327
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
So, I've started calling Real Estate "Boo" as a bit of a pet name. I started doing it, sort of kidding around, because it feels a little urban and twenty-something silly. I had to explain to him what it meant, because I named my car Boo a long time ago, and he had never heard it before. But, surprise! He loves it when I call him Boo. Last weekend, something was pushing my buttons a bit in regards to my feelings of security in our relationship (it wasn't anything he had done, it was more of an abstract thing), and we were talking about it before falling asleep. We were spooning, and he squeezed me tight, and he said, "You don't have to worry. I'm your dude. I'm your boo. I'm not going anywhere." And I said to him last night, "You've really latched onto this Boo thing. I'm surprised. You really like it, don't you?" And he said, "I do! I really like it. But sometimes, I have to stop myself from saying, 'Hey, Yogi!' Or I might have to start calling you Cindy. That was Yogi Bear's girlfriend."

It was just really sweet.

A very good friend of his (a former roommate), who happens to share my birthday, is coming to town ON my birthday and staying with Real Estate for a few days. Usually, this means that I won't get to see him until his friend leaves town--that's how it's been since we've gotten together, whenever a friend visits. But this time is different. He's really excited for me to meet his friend, and is planning all kinds of stuff for us to do together: an escape room (including a few of my friends, and one or two of RE's friends whom I haven't met yet), a tree-tops adventure course, go-carting, and miniature golf. It seems like he's starting to being me into other parts of his life, whereas before it always felt like he kept things compartmentalized. This is a very good thing.
Sounds fantastic FIP. Much better than the uncertainty you were sharing several weeks back.

Choosing to kick ass every day in a positive way.
TheGoodGuy is offline  
 
post #439 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 05:02 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

FK! Just found out my useless ass-kissing government pulled a Trumpie on working visas. For so many months been trying to convince my girlfriend to renew her visa, and get her retired dad to stay with one of her two brothers instead of her flying off. Now fair enough, she's the eldest, she has her obligations to her family, but I'm here and I can't move, have my work my uni and my daughter. For ages she's struggled with the decision and now my government is making it SO HARD to get her visa, so it's obvious now what she's going to choose, because she has no choice!!!

You know I like Trumpie, the Trump effect brings everyone out of the closet! There's now racism rampant everywhere and I love it! Violence against kids and women too! Why I do I love it? Because I strongly believe it has to get worse before it gets better, and it encourages folks of my race to stop being so law abiding and respectful and start fighting back. Too long has everything been pushed under the rug, I knew there was so much racism but people weren't aware. They are now. But despite the benefits of Trumpism when my government kisses Trump ass no matter what he does I didn't expect **** like an isolationist policy to happen in homesoil which is now it's intruding into MY FKING LOVE LIFE.

And all this just after I find out to publish ANYTHING in my new field I have to get a degree for it, where-as in the U.S. you don't even have to, FKED UP down under law. FKING GOVERNMENT! And they wonder why our entertainment industry here is so limited! They already cut funding to everything but mining pffft! And now I'm going to be single again! After finally finding someone worthwhile, oh yeah of course she's worth it compared to the locals here BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SH-T ABOUT MONEY!!! I feel like they are trying to take away everything from me...

*sigh* Maybe I'm just recovering from shock... anger... sadness... frustration... and stress all at once... FKING GOVERNMENT!!! BAH! FK YOU TURNBULL YOU FKING C-NT!! *sigh*

A bit better now...

/end vent
RandomDude is offline  
post #440 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 07:06 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

*sigh* Can't even FKING sponsor her myself, new requirements enforce "genuine skill shortage" and her role is not one of the listed.

She has no choice but to leave... unless we plan for partner visas, which have a de facto requirement. FK! I'm not ready for any such commitment yet!

And I got assignments pilling up with work drawing me back into the stressful life of my expanding business that has grown too large for me to manage comfortably >.<
I just want to die... now >.<
RandomDude is offline  
post #441 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 07:16 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,396
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

You could marry her, RD! Then she could stay.

J/k

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #442 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 07:17 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,396
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

But don't lose hope, RD. You guys can still work this out.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #443 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 07:54 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Before this recent abolishment she had a decision to make, now it just forces her to make one. I can't make a long-term romantic commitment just to bypass the hurdle for her, even if she makes the decision she wants to stay.
RandomDude is offline  
post #444 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 08:12 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,396
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Before this recent abolishment she had a decision to make, now it just forces her to make one. I can't make a long-term romantic commitment just to bypass the hurdle for her, even if she makes the decision she wants to stay.
J/k means just kidding! I wasn't serious, at all. I know where you're at right now, RD. I wouldn't suggest that you take such a big step right now.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #445 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 04:28 AM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Looks like I'll be single again I guess... *sigh*

RandomDude is offline  
post #446 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,396
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoodGuy View Post
Sounds fantastic FIP. Much better than the uncertainty you were sharing several weeks back.
I am sure that the uncertainty will come up again, when he decides he needs to assert once again that he doesn't want a girlfriend or to get married again. (Funny thing about this, I have never once suggested that marriage is something I see in the future for us; I've never even once brought up the topic of marriage. I know how he feels about it. I don't feel the need to discuss it, because I'm happy the way things are for now.)

I think that my presence in his life, and his growing attachment to/feelings for me, are challenging the ideas he's clung to for a long time about his life and the future: that he would spend his life along, that he would never fall in love again, that he is better off alone. Before he met me, he had himself completely convinced of these so well that he accepted them as immutable fact.

This creates a lot of cognitive dissonance, and cognitive dissonance is really hard to deal with, and can only be ignored for so long. There are only two ways of resolving cognitive dissonance: either change your beliefs, or eliminate whatever is causing the cognitive dissonance in the first place (which would be me).

The longer we're together, the more attached he gets to me; the more attached he gets, the harder it will be for him to end the relationship. And I think that eventually he'll become more flexible about what he currently accepts as the absolute truth about his life.

He still may never want to get married, and that's ok. But eventually, he'll realize that he IS capable of loving again, and loving another person doesn't mean that you're destined to have your heart broken again.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #447 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 04:43 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Hell this stupid xenophobic withdrawal of working visas is now affecting MY FKING BUSINESS - 650 roles to 200, and guess what? In hospitality, WE NEED IMMIGRANTS, who else is going to translate and communicate with folks who struggle with English? How the FK am I going to make my customers feel at home when my country is a xenophobic racist paradise where everyone scorns any other fking language but English?! Just hire the locals you say? So many fking locals despite their background lose their native tongue robbed from them from a culture that scorns it from the very beginning since they were children. You going to say to a tourist "speak english?" FK YOU!

Hell I'm so pissed off right now, my girlfriend being fking deported and you know what else? I am so filled with hate right now I haven't felt like this since my ex-wife got pregnant, I had to marry her out of circumstance, and now I'm tempted to fking offer my girlfriend a partner visa just to say FK YOU to my FKED UP GOVERNMENT... TWO MARRIAGES - ONE POTENTIAL - BOTH THE SAME STORY - FOR THE FKING WRONG REASONS!!! AGAIN! Not to mention this is all reminding me of the fking xenophobic sh-t I had to deal with just because ex-wife looked fking "white" and behind our backs insult my daughter before she was even fking born because OMFG I ain't a white c-nt and I'm stealing "your" women! FK reminds me of those FKING COWARDS THROWING A BEER BOTTLE AT MY DAUGHTER BY A DRIVE BY JUST BECAUSE I WAS WITH MY "WHITE" LOOKING WIFE.

NOW THIS?! THE MAJORITY OF MY STAFF ARE WHITE FKING AUSSIES AND OH SH-T I AINT WHITE SO I MUST BE STEALING FKING JOBS, I'M CREATING JOBS YOU FKING USELESS FKING DOLE BLUDGERS! FK! FK I'm so FKING ANGRY...

*sigh*

Sorry guys I really need this out, don't mind me... just too much, happening all at once >.<

/end vent
RandomDude is offline  
post #448 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 02:09 AM
Member
 
tripad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: asian country
Posts: 1,603
tripad is offline  
post #449 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 02:12 AM
Member
 
tripad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: asian country
Posts: 1,603
Fip

Smile on my face to read things are going well for you with real estate . I sense peace n contentment in your writing .

I am no where near men to even sniff out a good or single one .
tripad is offline  
post #450 of 668 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 11:43 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,153
Re: The Singles of TAM 2.0

Going ahead with prospective marriage visa, FK the government! Lodging early since it'll take a year to process if not more. Alot can happen in a year and I may not even be able to handle it when she gets deported a few months, but going to try everything. Funny thing really, at first she was wishy washy with her decision and now that it's more difficult she decides she actually chooses me. Maybe that's a good thing?

Meh going to an immigration agent tomorrow with her, find our options.
RandomDude is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
coolest people of tam, dating, single life

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
TAM Chat Thread EllisRedding The Social Spot 988 06-18-2017 06:25 AM
Does TAM sometimes get it wrong? Begin again General Relationship Discussion 54 09-07-2016 07:11 PM
TAM causing problems in my marriage Mulligan General Relationship Discussion 45 12-11-2015 01:35 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome