Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find him. And I've had to be VERY patient. He has a lot of baggage that would have had a lot of women calling it quits, and I almost did a few times... but I stuck it out because something was telling me that he was worth it. He was trying to keep me at arm's length for a long time, because he was scared; he needed to see that I was willing to stick it out, for him to trust me enough to start letting me in. So it's been slow going, but it HAS been worth it. For someone who has a tendency to jump in head-first, it's been good for me, too.
Very interesting. Like you, I too tend to jump in head first, and I am not known for my patience.
Kudos to you for putting in the effort; now you are reaping the benefits. If I'm being honest that's why I kept trying over and over again with my ex-bf, because I thought he needed to see that he could trust me, etc. But at some point I just had to admit that it wasn't about that - it was that he just didn't care.
How long have you two been together?
He's 30, and I am 45. But he's a bit of an old soul, and I often get looks of shock when I tell people I have a kiddo in college, so I figure we balance out pretty well.
Sounds like a good match.
Nice that you are taking it slow and are on the same page.
FIP, thanks for the mention. I stopped following the old thread as well because there was too much going on. I wouldn't have found this one if you hadn't mentioned me. (Plus a month long ban because some one's tender emotions got all butt hurt over something I said)
I have had the same experience as you. I had a relationship that grew into something more involved sooner than I wanted. Too much time with her and not enough time for myself. I just got back from a three week cross country trip with an old buddy. Man I am so thankful to be free of him - haha! I love the guy but it was starting to grate on my last nerve! Anyways, I have realized that for the moment that all I really desire is sexual release. I don't mind engaging in the requisites that go along with sex (dinner, cuddling, hanging out etc) but I have no desire for the day in day out grind of having a relationship. Like many others, I don't see myself giving up all of my new found freedoms by putting all of my eggs into one basket by settling down with someone right now.
I don't know if it is a gender thing, a timing thing (I have been divorced since 2008), or just personal differences, but I want the relationship. I want the closeness. I just can't find it.
I like my freedom too, though. But I'm willing to give that up for the right person (some of it, anyway). And marriage is still in the cards for me. I know some people have said they would never marry again, but I feel like I wouldn't feel close to someone who wasn't willing to marry me.
I'm curious if you ever see yourself being in a relationship again.