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The Singles of TAM 2.0

88K views 1K replies 66 participants last post by  FeministInPink 
#1 · (Edited)
This is a continuation of the original Singles of TAM thread, which is now 2300+ pages.

If you want to see where we left off or figure what the heck any of us are talking about, you can read the old thread here.

Please do not post any responses in the old thread--please post them here instead.

I'm going to roll call people who posted to the old Singles thread recently to help them find this new one: @Bananapeel @ne9907 @3Xnocharm @anewstart60 @GuyInColorado @TooNice @RandomDude @vi_bride04 @Absurdist @Herschel @Haiku @Hopeful Cynic @Satya @bkyln309 @tripad @Hope Shimmers @*Deidre* @sosotte @wantshelp @moco82 @EleGirl @Ynot

ETA: For anyone NEW to the Singles thread, you can post anything about your experiences as a newly single person, ask questions or advice, or respond to any of the other folks on the thread. We're a friendly bunch, and we welcome everyone, even people who aren't single, but just want to hang out with the coolest people of TAM.
 
#404 ·
Delegate or sell, then study! Lots of boytoys there at uni for you I'm sure :)

I'm loving my course, really forces me to work on my less developed side of the brain - creative side. Just did a presentation for an assignment and everyone loved it, guess all the years presenting and pitching to investors and clients paid off :) Really gives me hope for the future, if I can sell my ideas for production, maybe my dreams isn't as far fetched as I once thought...

Somehow, someway, my life feels on track. Relationships are secondary.
 
#405 ·
Delegate or sell, then study! Lots of boytoys there at uni for you I'm sure :)



I'm loving my course, really forces me to work on my less developed side of the brain - creative side. Just did a presentation for an assignment and everyone loved it, guess all the years presenting and pitching to investors and clients paid off :) Really gives me hope for the future, if I can sell my ideas for production, maybe my dreams isn't as far fetched as I once thought...



Somehow, someway, my life feels on track. Relationships are secondary.


Don't tell GF she is secondary
 
#406 ·
I have been sick since Monday. First, food poisoning from a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit from McDonalds, then today I went to the doctor and have an acute UTI.... ugh...
The pain is so bad... I don't even want to pee.... but of course, pee I shall and must!!

On other news, my friends has been staying with me for a while. The good news is that he took care of me while I was sick, bad news?? He is homeless and wants to crash at my place... I am digging myself in a hole I do not want to surface from.

This guy has a tendency to "crash" in people's places until they get tired of him and kick him out. He does not have a job! I told him if he continues to want to stay with me, he must get a job. The bright side is that he cooks dinner, cleans the house, takes care of my cat, and of course takes care of me.

Not sure I am cut out to have a "house boyfriend?" a la housewife... That is what he wants to be!!!!
 
#408 · (Edited)
Ugh - so sorry to hear you've been unwell. I am waiting for a call back from my doctor to find out whether I have a kidney stone. Been in lots of pain for the past couple days. And I have back to back trips starting in two days. :frown2: I hate the waiting, though... would really like confirmation of what is wrong!

The boyfriend has been given housekeys so he can check in on my kitty while I am gone. Feels a little strange, but it's nice, too. He's coming over tonight, and I am looking forward to not being alone while I feel so yucky.

Wish I had good advice for you... that's a tricky situation to be in for sure. I think telling him to get a job is a good move. Let him contribute financially, too!

Hope you feel better soon!

Updated to add: the scans they did to find my pain source all came back looking fine. That's good to know that there is nothing seriously wrong. Unfortunately, it leaves me with mystery pain... maybe gas or menstrual related. I need to take ibuprofen and hope it clears up in the next day or two.
 
#411 ·
So, fresh question about online dating.

Why is Tinder so consistently referred to as a "hook-up app"? I would, honestly, love to have a dedicated app for that purpose (and another for high-brow sophisticated dating), but Tinder just does not seem radically different from the rest. Except that women go out of their way to write in their profiles that they are not looking for hook-ups. Is there some secret code to follow, some secret handshake for people looking for short-term relationships on Tinder? The whole thing just seems like false advertising :)

P. S. It goes without saying that if you're a truly good-looking guy who stands out, any app (or the queue at the supermarket) is your hook-up app.
 
#417 ·
So, Real Estate and I have made it past the one-year mark! It's funny... since our fight at the beginning of March over the future and intent of our relationship (after which I told him--after a LOT of deliberation on my part--that I wasn't going anywhere, because I decided it's not time for that conversation yet, because going nuclear and giving him what is essentially an ultimatum won't work and will make both of us unhappy), our relationship has continued to grow more intimate and stronger. It's almost as if by not trying to tie him down and get a commitment out of him, he has become more committed and invested in us. He's opening up more and allowing himself to be more vulnerable than he was before. His walls are still up, but he's letting me in more than before... so I guess he actually was listening to me when we were having our big argument.

(That's still a revelation, after a year... I've grown so accustomed to having my feelings and concerns dismissed, for literally my entire life, so accustomed to people simply not listening to me, that it still surprises me that he actually LISTENS and HEARS what I'm saying, even hears the things I want to say but can't. It blows my freaking mind. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that.)

And the last few weeks, he's been simply amazing. I've been incredibly stressed at work and working long hours, bringing work home over the weekends, not to mention problems with my boss, and he's just been great this whole time--it's like he's known exactly what I've needed. Like the one night I went over after work, having put in several extra hours, and my brain was just fried. He was lying in bed--he was taking a nap while he waited for me--and he was like, "Come give me a hug," and when I did, he grabbed me and pulled me into bed and just cuddled me for a while to help me de-stress. He's crank-called me at work a couple times to make me laugh, which has really cheered me up. I've really needed someone to lean on these past few weeks, and he's been my rock.

I think patience and not pushing the issue was the right way to go.

In other news, Flower is doing well. While her incontinence issues haven't cleared up completely, she's doing much better. We still put the diaper on her overnight or when we go out, but if we're home with her and can let her out, we can leave the doggy diaper off. Real Estate still has to puree her food, and that looks like it's going to be a permanent change, but she's been eating well, no vomiting for a few weeks now, and she's slowly gaining her weight back.

In other news, his sister is not doing well... it's simply a matter of time at this point. She needs to have someone with her 24/7 at this point... the cancer has spread to every part of her brain, it seems. She can no longer walk without help, but she can't remember that she can't walk without help, so if someone isn't watching her, she'll stand up and try to walk across the room and fall down. And she's no longer lucid, apparently. It's very sad. Real Estate gives me updates when he talks to his family, but he won't talk about how he feels, which I understand... I know how this makes him feel. They asked him to take some time to come home to help take care of her and see her, but he's not going to... it sounds bad, but I understand why. His oldest brother (H) is living with his sister f/t and taking care of her (he's retired), and his other older brother and his wife live very close and are helping take care of her as well, and they have it pretty well covered. Because Real Estate works for himself and has to be on call for his clients 24/7, he can't just up and leave at the drop of a hat... they live 12 hours away. And he simply doesn't want to see his sister like that. Real Estate and his sister had to take care of their mother when she was sick and dying--here where he and I live now, not where they all live--without the help of his older brothers, and I think he simply doesn't want to go through that again. That he doesn't think he's strong enough to handle it, maybe.

My heart breaks for him over this. I realize that I have been very fortunate in my life that most people in my life have lived long and healthy lives; my father's parents both passed in their mid 70s, but their siblings and wives all lived into their late 80's, some of whom are still alive and still in good health. My mother's parents are in their mid-late 80's now, and it's only recently that my grandmother's health has weakened. All my aunts and uncles are in good health, and I expect them to be for some time now, as are my own parents. But Real Estate's parents both passed away when he was around my age, and now his sister. I can't even pretend to know how that feels. Even in another 10 years, when I get to be Real Estate's age (he's 10 yrs older than me), I expect that my parents will still be in good health. I may be tempting fate, but I've been very lucky that death has not yet touched me so closely.

All I can do is be here for him and support him the best that I can.
 
#424 ·
Checking on all your posts .

Nothing interesting in my life . Work n kids all day and all going well .

The only new developement is that my ex husband on his visit had been enquiring my domestic helper about my personal life n if i have a bf . It seems like he is having his regrets . But , there is no way i will ever get back with him even if he were on his knees . So , nothing new n exciting .

Then , there is this man i approached on the street to borrow his hp as my hp was flat and i had to make an urgent call . He was a really nice man who lent me his phone and yet offered me his hp battery n cable and for me to return him another time . I wonder if he was creating an opportunity as i saw he was looking at my left hand , checking ring finger perhaps . Nevertheless , i returned the battery in a business like manner and he didnt try to hit on me , which frankly would make me think he is a player if he had . But he was really sweet and nice , like , telling me to drive safe , and offering tissue when i perspired while walking up to him . Really sweet . But i was not remotely attracted to him physically , not really my type , trying not to sound rude here . But , his Porsche was attractive LOL . Now , i am wondering if i should have flutter my eyelids a little . Sigh . But i seriously am not attracted .
 
#432 ·
Mmm thinking I may need to keep my first business now, I don't think I'm going to risk having to go public with my second company in the future, even if it costs me more in the short run, as damn the big fish are real PREDATORS in the entertainment industry, more so than hospitality. So many companies swallowed up by hostile takeovers and spat out, such waste of talent!

Which means... full time study AND full time work, I'm going to kill myself :(
Why can't I seem to catch a break? Bah!
 
#433 ·
Which means... full time study AND full time work, I'm going to kill myself :(
Why can't I seem to catch a break? Bah!
You know I love you, RD, but just to put a little perspective on this... you have the good fortune to be in a position to do both. Many, many people would think you have caught quite a break.

I myself did school, work, and ran a household with two small children. It took me 20 years to complete my bachelor's degree. My kids were heading into middle school and college when I finished. But I LOVE what I do, and it was worth every minute. Just keep the end in mind. You'll be just fine.
 
#436 ·
I have no idea about the entertainment biz, thats why I'm studying! Theres so much to learn even the basics! I want to get into the industry with a solid foundation.

But now I just want to retire but I cant :(

I hardly have enough time these days to do anything and the most I've been able to squeeze out with my daughter was half a day and girlfriend just 2 hours! :(
 
#437 ·
So, I've started calling Real Estate "Boo" as a bit of a pet name. I started doing it, sort of kidding around, because it feels a little urban and twenty-something silly. I had to explain to him what it meant, because I named my car Boo a long time ago, and he had never heard it before. But, surprise! He loves it when I call him Boo. Last weekend, something was pushing my buttons a bit in regards to my feelings of security in our relationship (it wasn't anything he had done, it was more of an abstract thing), and we were talking about it before falling asleep. We were spooning, and he squeezed me tight, and he said, "You don't have to worry. I'm your dude. I'm your boo. I'm not going anywhere." And I said to him last night, "You've really latched onto this Boo thing. I'm surprised. You really like it, don't you?" And he said, "I do! I really like it. But sometimes, I have to stop myself from saying, 'Hey, Yogi!' Or I might have to start calling you Cindy. That was Yogi Bear's girlfriend."

It was just really sweet.

A very good friend of his (a former roommate), who happens to share my birthday, is coming to town ON my birthday and staying with Real Estate for a few days. Usually, this means that I won't get to see him until his friend leaves town--that's how it's been since we've gotten together, whenever a friend visits. But this time is different. He's really excited for me to meet his friend, and is planning all kinds of stuff for us to do together: an escape room (including a few of my friends, and one or two of RE's friends whom I haven't met yet), a tree-tops adventure course, go-carting, and miniature golf. It seems like he's starting to being me into other parts of his life, whereas before it always felt like he kept things compartmentalized. This is a very good thing.
 
#439 ·
FK! Just found out my useless ass-kissing government pulled a Trumpie on working visas. For so many months been trying to convince my girlfriend to renew her visa, and get her retired dad to stay with one of her two brothers instead of her flying off. Now fair enough, she's the eldest, she has her obligations to her family, but I'm here :( and I can't move, have my work my uni and my daughter. For ages she's struggled with the decision and now my government is making it SO HARD to get her visa, so it's obvious now what she's going to choose, because she has no choice!!!

You know I like Trumpie, the Trump effect brings everyone out of the closet! There's now racism rampant everywhere and I love it! Violence against kids and women too! Why I do I love it? Because I strongly believe it has to get worse before it gets better, and it encourages folks of my race to stop being so law abiding and respectful and start fighting back. Too long has everything been pushed under the rug, I knew there was so much racism but people weren't aware. They are now. But despite the benefits of Trumpism when my government kisses Trump ass no matter what he does I didn't expect **** like an isolationist policy to happen in homesoil which is now it's intruding into MY FKING LOVE LIFE.

And all this just after I find out to publish ANYTHING in my new field I have to get a degree for it, where-as in the U.S. you don't even have to, FKED UP down under law. FKING GOVERNMENT! And they wonder why our entertainment industry here is so limited! They already cut funding to everything but mining pffft! And now I'm going to be single again! After finally finding someone worthwhile, oh yeah of course she's worth it compared to the locals here BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SH-T ABOUT MONEY!!! I feel like they are trying to take away everything from me... :(

*sigh* Maybe I'm just recovering from shock... anger... sadness... frustration... and stress all at once... FKING GOVERNMENT!!! BAH! FK YOU TURNBULL YOU FKING ****!! *sigh*

A bit better now...

/end vent
 
#440 ·
*sigh* Can't even FKING sponsor her myself, new requirements enforce "genuine skill shortage" and her role is not one of the listed.

She has no choice but to leave... unless we plan for partner visas, which have a de facto requirement. FK! I'm not ready for any such commitment yet!

And I got assignments pilling up with work drawing me back into the stressful life of my expanding business that has grown too large for me to manage comfortably >.<
I just want to die... now >.<
 
#447 ·
Hell this stupid xenophobic withdrawal of working visas is now affecting MY FKING BUSINESS - 650 roles to 200, and guess what? In hospitality, WE NEED IMMIGRANTS, who else is going to translate and communicate with folks who struggle with English? How the FK am I going to make my customers feel at home when my country is a xenophobic racist paradise where everyone scorns any other fking language but English?! Just hire the locals you say? So many fking locals despite their background lose their native tongue robbed from them from a culture that scorns it from the very beginning since they were children. You going to say to a tourist "speak english?" FK YOU!

Hell I'm so pissed off right now, my girlfriend being fking deported and you know what else? I am so filled with hate right now I haven't felt like this since my ex-wife got pregnant, I had to marry her out of circumstance, and now I'm tempted to fking offer my girlfriend a partner visa just to say FK YOU to my FKED UP GOVERNMENT... TWO MARRIAGES - ONE POTENTIAL - BOTH THE SAME STORY - FOR THE FKING WRONG REASONS!!! AGAIN! Not to mention this is all reminding me of the fking xenophobic sh-t I had to deal with just because ex-wife looked fking "white" and behind our backs insult my daughter before she was even fking born because OMFG I ain't a white **** and I'm stealing "your" women! FK reminds me of those FKING COWARDS THROWING A BEER BOTTLE AT MY DAUGHTER BY A DRIVE BY JUST BECAUSE I WAS WITH MY "WHITE" LOOKING WIFE.

NOW THIS?! THE MAJORITY OF MY STAFF ARE WHITE FKING AUSSIES AND OH SH-T I AINT WHITE SO I MUST BE STEALING FKING JOBS, I'M CREATING JOBS YOU FKING USELESS FKING DOLE BLUDGERS! FK! FK I'm so FKING ANGRY...

*sigh*

Sorry guys I really need this out, don't mind me... just too much, happening all at once >.<

/end vent
 
#450 ·
Going ahead with prospective marriage visa, FK the government! Lodging early since it'll take a year to process if not more. Alot can happen in a year and I may not even be able to handle it when she gets deported a few months, but going to try everything. Funny thing really, at first she was wishy washy with her decision and now that it's more difficult she decides she actually chooses me. Maybe that's a good thing?

Meh going to an immigration agent tomorrow with her, find our options.
 
#451 · (Edited)
$7000 application fee!!!!

Fk... that's 2 years membership with a matchmaking agency, price of a small car, almost the price of a fking hang glider!!!

Government extorting couples for money WTF

Edit: 12 months waiting period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even guaranteed... forget it, not letting them profit from this. Will find another way!
 
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