I'm sorry to hear all of this. I've always said that once I'm rid of my current marriage (if that ever happens) I'll never do it again. I'm interested to hear how you stopped her from going after your personal assets since that's really the only thing stopping me from divorcing my wife. Are these assets you had before getting married? If so how were you able to show that? I totally know how you feel, I'm always called the evil one and that I do everything wrong. I've had to stop her more than once from totally destroying us financially. It would be great to see just how long she would last if we got divorced without me coming to the rescue all the time.
She refused to sign a pre-nup, which should had been my first glance of the issues ahead. No problem. I moved all my assets and ownership into an irrevocable trust. Anything we received in the marriage (wedding gifts, cash, etc.) I gave to her with no fight. I used her own words and suggestions against her. She said her parents and therapist suggest we try a trial separation. No problem, I agreed. She was shocked. Then, I just pushed to get her the heck out of the home. Waited 120 days, tried to reconcile and work on our marriage, she refused. No problem, filed for the divorce. Since she vacated the home on her on voluntarily, she gave up her right to stay in the marital home. She POS lawyer tried to go after the home, but again, it was in a trust, untouchable. We also never commingled any money. Basically, she thought she had me wrapped around her finger. Not a chance. Still hurts and I didn't see it falling so quickly. With this BS no-fault divorce and either spouse being able to take the other spouses assets one needs to protect themselves. One can challenge a pre-nup. One cannot challenge an irrevocable trust if done significantly ahead of time. I did it prior to our engagement. The only way to change things during a marriage would be a post-nup, however, there is always the chance she can state that she signed it in duress. Everything depends on the state in which you live. Perhaps meet with a divorce and estate attorney to better give you a rundown of your options.
Financially, my ex-wife is wreck. I feel bad, but I did give her the option to sign a self settled divorce package for 200.00. She took the papers and threw them back at me. There is no way to protect against legal fees. She spent somewhere between 12k - 15k for the defense. It hurt her more than me. She's apparently very depressed and has turned into an introvert. If she would had worked on us, maybe things would be different. However, she always thought she was an independent woman who doesn't need anyone. Now, she's independent and is being crushed financially by her own doing. I've always tried to tell her to live on a budget, she laughed at me. Well, one reaps what they sow. They say you truly find out the person who you marry during the divorce. She or her attorney attempted to go after my assets, failed. Attempted to extend my medical insurance into 2017, failed. I guess they both felt I was a moron or an imbecile. Not sure. She has a really high pension and 401k along with an nice sized investment account. Against legal advice and family, I didn't go after a thing. Not looking to hurt her, she's doing fine with that all by herself. I just wanted out of the contract.
She's not a bad person, but easily swayed by others. I have no doubt she'll find another man. She's quite attractive and has a good head on her shoulders. However, her true personality sucks.