I hung onto my first marriage for years past it's best before date because of parental guilt. I'd been raised in a strict religious household where divorce was a dirty nasty unheardof word, and I really thought it was my duty as a wife to shut up and put up. Especially since I had run away from home at 16 to be with the guy.
Felt similiar and wanted to just push through. Said it will get better, it got worse. It is true when they said misery loves company. I became as miserable as her. She's used to be so happy and positive. I wish I know WTF happened. I know I probably never will. I made mistakes, and apologized. However, it's a bit hard for me to apologize for being in the hospital and family deaths.
Some people have trouble holding onto the memory of what made them divorce.
She may try to stay in your life since she's not doing such a great job on her own. Be very careful or you could wind up back in the middle of that.
Don't respond if she tries to contact you (as she no doubt will). You were her KISA but those days are gone and she needs to figure out her life without your help.
Time is really the only thing that helps get past this. Tell yourself every day that you're better at moving on than you were the day before. One day you'll reach the point of indifference. It's a wonderful feeling.
Doubtful. We've not spoken or conversed in almost a year. I do not think I'd be able to handle her again as she just will bring me down. Heck, I recall, when we were on good terms, I was offered a executive level job at her place of work, she threatened to quit. I should had known then there was something wrong with her.
Because whenever we either engage into a mutually satisfying relationship, or we come to marry, the " high" of the mystical euphoria of having found "the one," that we feel that we absolutely cannot live without, far overrides any of our doubts!
Even after the inevitability of the crap hitting the fan, we still somehow cling fastly to that false, but otherwise comforting premonition!
So true and agreed.
Maybe you feel that you have failed, these things take time to heal.
Yes, agreed. I feel it is my fault that I wasn't able to fix our marriage. When, in fact, a marriage is a partnership and both people need to want to fix the marriage. It seemed she just cared to piss and moan to her parents and friends. Yet, when I brought the issues up, I cannot talk to you about it. ??? How was I supposed to work with that? I've been doubting myself and my abilities ever since. To say she's changed me in my personal life, and not in a good way, is an understatement. I offered her love, trust, honesty, respect, roof over her head, medical insurance, cooking dinners near daily, cleaning up and a potential for a family. Tried to be her best friend, was treated like a bitter enemy. There are ups and downs in all marriages, but the lows just continued to get lower. So, now, I question my every move. It's a horrible feeling.