Wont accept people like that in my life - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 04:12 PM Thread Starter
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Wont accept people like that in my life

So my GF and me have been talking a while now about making friends and going out with other couples. She agrees and we have been searching for someone to play cards go to movies cook out with etc.

Recently a coworker of her has asked us to have a cookout and watch movies. I was excited and figured this would be just what we are looking for.

She found out the other day that this person has been cheating on her husband and that's who she wants us to hang out with.

I told my gf under no circumstances will I associate with this person. I cannot and will not be around that type of person. She agreed with me and now its causing her some stress at work because my gf wont acknowledge the requests to go out with them anymore.

I think we both agree that his is not the type of people we want to hang out with.

Are we doing the right thing? Should we tell her exactly why we do not want to be social with them?

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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

I think that you are right to not form a friendship with someone who is actively cheating. Why start a friendship that will only lead to problems.

I don't think she should tell this person anything because it can further strain her work relationship. Just turn her down. After a while the person will stop asking.

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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 04:55 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

I agree, I wouldnt want to spend time with them, it would be very awkward.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 05:14 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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Originally Posted by NoMoreTears4me View Post
So my GF and me have been talking a while now about making friends and going out with other couples. She agrees and we have been searching for someone to play cards go to movies cook out with etc.

Recently a coworker of her has asked us to have a cookout and watch movies. I was excited and figured this would be just what we are looking for.

She found out the other day that this person has been cheating on her husband and that's who she wants us to hang out with.

I told my gf under no circumstances will I associate with this person. I cannot and will not be around that type of person. She agreed with me and now its causing her some stress at work because my gf wont acknowledge the requests to go out with them anymore.

I think we both agree that his is not the type of people we want to hang out with.

Are we doing the right thing? Should we tell her exactly why we do not want to be social with them?
You will find yourself and your gf used as alibis very quickly,false alibis.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-15-2017, 05:20 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

She invited you both to cookout with her and her husband, who she is cheating on?

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 05:25 AM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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She invited you both to cookout with her and her husband, who she is cheating on?
I think they were invited to hang out with the woman and her affair partner. How's that for an awkward time?

OP I'm not sure why it's become an issue at work for your girlfriend, what do you mean by she's not "acknowledging the request". Are the request by email? Is your girlfriend avoiding this woman? I think all your girlfriend has to do by way of an answer is say to the woman "that's not a situation I plan on being involved with".
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 06:21 AM
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Cool Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

Find someone else at work, or elsewhere to hang out with!

By hanging out with these miscreants, all that you're doing is giving tacit approval to their chosen lifestyle!

And subjecting yourselves to possible hostility whenever the crap hits the fan and you find yourselves in the wrong place at the right time!

Just saying!

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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 08:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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I think they were invited to hang out with the woman and her affair partner. How's that for an awkward time?

OP I'm not sure why it's become an issue at work for your girlfriend, what do you mean by she's not "acknowledging the request". Are the request by email? Is your girlfriend avoiding this woman? I think all your girlfriend has to do by way of an answer is say to the woman "that's not a situation I plan on being involved with".
Its awkward for her because she doesn't want to tell her why we don't want to go. She does not want to get into the fact we do not approve of what she is doing and do not want to be around people that cheat on their spouses. We both have been hurt by that.

So when she brings up cooking out my gf changes the subject and its becoming awkward.

I guess she should say something but its hard when you work together everyday.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 03:57 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

You are wise to not have people like that in your life, especially if you can identify them early on. I mean this person can't even keep their vows what chance would you stand in a friendship with them? What would honestly be the point.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-16-2017, 04:43 PM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

Did this woman invite the two of you to hang out with her and her husband, or with her and her affair partner?


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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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Did this woman invite the two of you to hang out with her and her husband, or with her and her affair partner?

Her and her affair partner!!
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:36 AM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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Her and her affair partner!!
So if you went it could be seen that you were colluding in the affair. I wonder what her husband thinks she is doing when she has 'cook outs' with her lover?
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:55 AM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

This definitely makes thing uncomfortable. It's kinda one of the reasons I don't socialize a whole lot with people at work. When you tie friendships in with work you sometimes get a really tough situations to deal with. I agree with your decision to not hang with this woman anymore, the problem is how to tell her without impacting your GF's work situation. It might be best to try to deflect the situation away from your GF and have her tell the woman that her boyfriend doesn't like her.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 09:04 AM
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

I wouldn't explain why. That will be too awkward in a work situation.
I would just say, "we are really busy with XYZ, thanks for thinking of us,"
She will get the hint, and the invites will dry up. Simple solution, I have done this a million times in my life.

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wont accept people like that in my life

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I wouldn't explain why. That will be too awkward in a work situation.
I would just say, "we are really busy with XYZ, thanks for thinking of us,"
She will get the hint, and the invites will dry up. Simple solution, I have done this a million times in my life.
This is kind of what she is doing. It kinda sucks cause we were looking forward to hanging out before we found out who it was with. Anyway possible disaster avoided!
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