Day by day!
Some of you are new here and for you it sucks. I know, I was there. But all I can tell you is that it gets better. Much better if you let it. Way better than it ever was before.
Everyday, now I realize more and more how much better off I am not being married to someone who didn't love me the way I needed to be loved, or wanted to be loved. Sometimes I am almost giddy over the possibilities I have now that I am in sole control of my life.
I never imagined in a hundred years I would be able to say that, especially early on.
But it is true. I now have more money than I ever had at any other point in my life. I make more money than I ever did at any other point in my life. I have more control over how I spend my money, what I spend my money on and who I spend my money on. Aside from the financial aspects. I also have complete control over my personal life. I can see who I want. I can travel wherever I want. I can watch whatever I want on TV. I can play my stereo as loud and as late as I want. I can sleep in, stay up late or take a nap whenever I feel like it. I have developed real personal relationships with my children based on who I am and who they are. I am no longer restrained by having to present a common front as part of a "we" that I often disagreed with. I can be honest with my kids in ways I never could before. I own my own house. I can decorate it however I want with things that mean something to me.
I have had at least three major relationships in the two and half years since my divorce. And probably another three semi-major ones. Rather than be devastated that things didn't work out in them, instead I have learned from them. I have grown. I am confident in myself again. I KNOW I have value. I KNOW who I am and what I want. I could not say the same while I was married or right after the divorce.
I have a date tonight. I am looking forward to meeting this woman for the first time face to face (met her on Match) I have no expectations if anything will come of it or not. I don't know whether I will find her attractive in person, whether there will be any sexual chemistry, I have no expectations of having sex with her or having any kind of a long term relationship with her. But I do know it is new and I am excited. If it doesn't work out? So what, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
I am optimistic for my future for perhaps the first time in all my life, if I am honest about it. Because I am now firmly in control of my life. I realize now that much of the unhappiness and discomfort of my life was because I had ceded that control over to my wife, my family, society or whomever. But now for the first time I realize that I AM in control. I can make whatever I want out of my life.
So can you!
At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!