3 years divorced and still can't move on.
A few years ago my wife cheated on me with a woman and told me she was a lesbian. After the incident I thought maybe sometime she would come back to me. I thought that she would miss our family being together and having a simple life. It took a while for me to accept that she was probably never coming back. We met when we were only 14 and had our first child at 16. Life was difficult but we still managed to get great jobs and decided to have 3 more children.
I understand why she never told me she was gay or if it took her so long to figure it out. We were very young and everything happened so quickly. I am not mad at her for being attracted to women, I'm not even mad at her for leaving me. I'm more angry at the situation I suppose. I wish I knew this before. I wish I knew that one day I would have to share my kids and compete with a woman I barely know for their affection.
My ex wife barely talks to me unless it is absolutely necessary. I always feel some kind of animosity from her even though I have been kind throughout this whole ordeal. My kids continuously choose her and her partner over me. While they climb the ladders in their careers I risk losing my job. They have everything. A big house, nice cars, vacations. My ex is so happy with her life and my jealousy and anger has only been growing. I am unable to move on into a new relationship while she gets a pretty, new, successful girlfriend. I sometimes wish they would just break up even if I have absolutely no chance with my ex.
I thought that time would make me calm down, and move on. I would not have guessed that I would still be alone, in a cheap apartment without my kids. I try to spend time with them, I even do everything that they are interested in but the other woman is so much better apparently. She takes them camping, to hockey games, to the movies. She has fancy astronomy equipment that they love so much. I don't hate the woman, I do hate that my kids seem to love her more than they love me. She's a great parent, perfect even, it's so frustrating.
I tried doing my own thing with my kids, and I tried replicating what she does with them and they still can't get over her. I have no clue what to do.
I have lost most of my friends, my parents are disappointed in me, and I am still in love with my wife. I have tried therapy, I tried dating, I've been working out, trying to fix my job situation but the more time goes by, the worse the situation gets. How do I finally get over my wife and my jealousy over her lifestyle? More importantly how do I get my kids to want to be around me?
I know that there is little people online can do for me but I'm willing to try anything and ask anyone at this point.