Re: What To Look Forward To?
Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice and support. You've given me a lot to think about.
I do think I am depressed at some level, and the exercise idea is a good one. I've sort of slacked off there. I also think I have some PTSD from the last relationship. I had a panic attack this morning and ended up in the ER. The brutal name calling and accusations are still in the forefront of my mind. I know I'm not that person, so I'll get over it. But it destroys a big piece of the heart and soul. There really aren't words to express how horrible it was. It's like being in the eye of a cyclone, forever swirling, not able to get out - until finally you are catapulted onto something hard, left beaten and bruised. I just feel a level of panic all the time, sick to my stomach, stressed.
I loved the ideas for the bucket list, and I'm going to use those. I think someone nailed it though by saying "get motivated to get motivated". I have some things I do. I flip properties. I own/run an online community forum for a hobby; it's successful enough that typing the hobby and "forum" into Google puts us in second place on page 1 in the search. I should get my house ready to sell. I'm just... blah.
I have thought about Doctors Without Borders, but I have custody of my 16 year old daughter so those types of things are not on the radar right now. I would also like to move - but can't for 2 years, same reason. So that's part of the problem too... I'm "waiting around" to have this first-world problem of having too many choices. And I don't do "waiting around" well at all.
There are some really great ideas in your posts. I'm going to re-read them and make sure I've captured them all.