Re: Ok when should the purposal come
IMO, it takes at least a year to know someone well enough - from seeing them in a variety of situations and dealing with problems - before I'd even consider a permanent arrangement. At that point I'd suggest living together for a year, and see if we are compatible through that. Then, if all is going well, a proposal would be okay - but if there are issues to work out, a proposal would have to wait until they were resolved to my satisfaction. If not resolved by the three year mark, it's time to break up and move on. Anyway, once a proposal is made, I think another full year should go by before marrying, as some people let themselves lapse once they think things are assured. So, proposal in 2 to 3 years, marriage - if desired - about a year or more later. And that's the fast track timeline.
Since I'm not a fan or proponent of marriage (instead favoring long-term commitment and cohabitation), instead of a proposal, the question could instead be: Would you marry me if there were a good reason to do so, instead of a long-term non-marital commitment?
After a year and a half (dating, then living together), my wife asked if I thought she was marriage material, even if we never married. I said yes. We did marry 5.5 years later, but purely for pragmatic reasons - we already had the love and commitment.
Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
Last edited by Married but Happy; 03-31-2017 at 09:20 AM.