Ok when should the purposal come - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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post #61 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 12:47 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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It sure does here. The SECOND I moved in with hubby before we were married, I had to add his income in for subsidy purposes. After 12 months consecutively living together you're required to claim 'common law' on your taxes and it's done the same as if you're married. If a couple who isn't married splits up, they can take each other to court and be awarded settlements the same as if you're married. And for child support purposes, if you live with a woman with kids that were there before you, and you split with her, she can get child support from you.
This applies to platonic roomates as well? What about situations where 2 guys and 1 woman live together? Who has to be married to her for tax purposes?


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post #62 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 12:51 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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This applies to platonic roomates as well? What about situations where 2 guys and 1 woman live together? Who has to be married to her for tax purposes?
No clue. I guess if you're a guy and you want to be 'roommates' with a girl who has kids you might want to think twice. All I can tell you is my experience.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #63 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 01:02 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

Even in Canada, non-marital cohabitation agreements (NMCA) carry significant weight, and can limit the government from asserting you're common law, or dividing assets contrary to the terms of the agreement. If you later marry, the NMCA serves as a prenup. Whether it can be used to avoid assumptions about subsidies. Here in the US, a NMCA precluded my income from being factored into my then-gf's disability determination.

A NMCA is an extremely valuable tool to have in place if you plan to live together. It's complex, and you should each have a lawyer - but you don't have to. It's a good idea if your situation is complex, or you have significant assets prior to living together - those should be carefully documented, at the very least.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #64 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 01:13 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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Even in Canada, non-marital cohabitation agreements (NMCA) carry significant weight, and can limit the government from asserting you're common law, or dividing assets contrary to the terms of the agreement. If you later marry, the NMCA serves as a prenup. Whether it can be used to avoid assumptions about subsidies. Here in the US, a NMCA precluded my income from being factored into my then-gf's disability determination.

A NMCA is an extremely valuable tool to have in place if you plan to live together. It's complex, and you should each have a lawyer - but you don't have to. It's a good idea if your situation is complex, or you have significant assets prior to living together - those should be carefully documented, at the very least.
If I'm roomates with a guy for 5 years and then he transitions to a woman, does that mean we're now common law?

If I live in a state with gay marriage, do I need an NMCA if I move in with a guy?

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #65 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 01:18 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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If I'm roomates with a guy for 5 years and then he transitions to a woman, does that mean we're now common law?

If I live in a state with gay marriage, do I need an NMCA if I move in with a guy?
Interesting questions, Fozzy. IMO: case a) no, if you had a rental agreement in place, o/w it depends where you live; case b) yes, if you live in one of the 9 (?) states that recognize common law marriage, and don't have a rental agreement.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #66 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 01:31 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

I think two years is a good time frame to allow before proposing. Its at that two year mark that it seems the point where you are seeing the real person in each other. The one year mark is still too much into the infatuation/honeymoon phase to know if you truly KNOW each other enough to make that kind of commitment.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #67 of 79 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:45 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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Interesting questions, Fozzy. IMO: case a) no, if you had a rental agreement in place, o/w it depends where you live; case b) yes, if you live in one of the 9 (?) states that recognize common law marriage, and don't have a rental agreement.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #68 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-02-2017, 08:00 PM
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At middle age, I would say about a year or two, but not more than that.

I probably will never marry again, but I would like to jinx that and I should of never said never.

Move in with someone without being married is not for me. Heck, maybe not even if I get married again would I move in with someone. I like my space, I don't want to share either side of my bed for too long either.

The older I get the more territorial I become!
Same here. I've been divorced 6 years, I'm 49, and I don't see myself ever getting married again. The longer I'm single, the more I enjoy my space.
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post #69 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 01:51 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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Same here. I've been divorced 6 years, I'm 49, and I don't see myself ever getting married again. The longer I'm single, the more I enjoy my space.
Yeah, I have been divorced for a little over 8 years now. I haven't really dated in about 5 except for the 3 month insane time I tried to get back together with the X.

So, the longer I don't date, the less I want to think of having to share anything with someone else. And to share my time 24 hours a day and 365 days a year is just not gonna EVER happen.

At 52, I finally get it that it is just not worth the drama.

Good things come to those who wait...greater things come to those who get off their a$$ and do anything to make it happen.
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post #70 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 04:20 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

I'm 43 and divorced 5 years, and will likely never marry or cohabitate again. I am repulsed by the idea of compromising with another person on how many dirty dishes are allowed to be in the sink, when the yard gets mowed, etc. Marriage never really had major appeal to me, but I allowed my ex to coerce me into it. I now consider getting married to be the biggest mistake of my life. I'm lucky to have a long term gf with similar views.

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post #71 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-11-2017, 06:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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I'm 43 and divorced 5 years, and will likely never marry or cohabitate again. I am repulsed by the idea of compromising with another person on how many dirty dishes are allowed to be in the sink, when the yard gets mowed, etc. Marriage never really had major appeal to me, but I allowed my ex to coerce me into it. I now consider getting married to be the biggest mistake of my life. I'm lucky to have a long term gf with similar views.
So with long term GF no desire to ever live together ?
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post #72 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-12-2017, 06:49 AM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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So with long term GF no desire to ever live together ?
It all comes down to government interference. All they care about is getting $ for license and

disappearing like a fart in a baking soda factory but.... are the ones who dictate alimony, CS, SM,

% with child(ren). It's like me giving a high end model a spiral perm... WTF do I know about spirals?

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #73 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 08:33 AM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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This applies to platonic roomates as well? What about situations where 2 guys and 1 woman live together? Who has to be married to her for tax purposes?
Note to self: Moving to Canada is a bad idea!
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post #74 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 09:27 AM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

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So with long term GF no desire to ever live together ?
Nope! We enjoy our time together, but we also like having our own space and time alone. It also provides a lot of 1-on-1 time with my daughter when I have her.
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post #75 of 79 (permalink) Old 04-13-2017, 02:01 PM
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Re: Ok when should the purposal come

I have been dating a man for 2 years. I think its clear by this point that the relationship will never be marriage material. Do we get along and are great friends? Yes. Is the sex good? Yes.

But if I want more from the relationship, the relationship will need to clearly end. Its sad but he is just happy that we are happy together in the short term. That leaves me with alot of decisions to make.
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