Re: Ok when should the purposal come
My first husband and I were together for about a year before he proposed. We did not marry until 4 years later, as I was completing college.
My second husband proposed a year after we dated. We actually proposed together to each other on the 1 year anniversary after meeting. Originally, we were set to marry a year after the proposal, but we knew we wanted to be married sooner, so we bumped the wedding up 6 months, had a simple ceremony, and kept the original date as a celebration party.
My best girlfriend has been in a relationship for 2 years longer than us, not been proposed to yet. Would be the second marriage for her and her bf, as well. I know she was once jealous, but she and I have worked together on her jealousy over other matters. She used to compare herself to others all the time, now she looks at only herself. I know she's happy and has a good life with her man. She's decided to let the hope of engagement go for now and enjoy the relationship.
My personal opinion is that if both parties lead honest lives when dating, you'll know in 1 year if you want to get engaged. Stay engaged for one more year and see how that year goes, then if all is well still, get married.
A 5 year wait is personally too long for me. If it takes 5 years for a man to vet me well enough, he can't be decisive. I say that because I lay it all on the table from the start. Odo knew what he was getting the moment we were exclusive, as did I. Then I showed him consistently for 2 years that I was that person. I'm still that person. It took him less than a year to know what he wanted but to be fair to us both I asked him to give the relationship the year we deserved to experience first.
I think many women believe 2-3 years is ample time to know someone, provided they're being honest.
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"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow