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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 01:42 AM Thread Starter
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internet dating pictures and activities

Ok so I know this is a little premature for where I am in the process. But, I've looked back through my photos and I'm not in hardly any of them. dad=family photographer lol. Anyway, I don't tend to do much of anything that isn't centered around my children, all the activities I enjoy are all kid friendly, well at least the ones I can afford are, and so I know it's going to take a lot of time to get a decent stock of photos of me to use when I jump back into dating. I have a few questions for those of you who have probably seen a bunch of mens profile photos. As I understand it from doing a decent bit of reading my goal is to get ok shots of myself doing stuff I enjoy so I can show I have hobbies, a life, am somewhat interesting, and can have fun ect.

Lets start with what I do in my spare time. hiking, volunteer through cub scouts as a den leader, random crap around the house or car, video games, play with the kids, drink beer and bbq. Also about to get back into four wheeling and I recently purchased a canoe. Lots of outdoors stuff, and of course video games are a solid cost effective hobby. pretty basic.

My problem is that obviously most every opportunity to get pictures of myself out doing anything involves kids, mine and sometimes a lot of other peoples, and for the scouting activities I'm in uniform or a tshirt that says our pack info on it.

thoughts on the possibility of kids (mine or other peoples) far enough the background to not be identifiable as who they are? I could potentially get some decent pics from people at scouting events, but no matter which direction you face theres kids in the background. And I am usually in a uniform shirt or at minimum a tshirt that has our pack info on it. Or a lot of time when I see pictures of adults at the scouting events the kids have their backs to the camera, as they are interacting with or listening to the adult leader.

thoughts on using photos of me with my kids and just cropping the image close on one side to sorta cut them out. I don't have any viable ones for this approach yet (yay for always holding a 2 year old.. thanks S2)

I don't have an account at a single dating site or app yet, and am not even looking to make one just yet, maybe soon though. I'm just thinking ahead after looking through my photos and realizing my last shot of me kid free and smiling was 10 years ago on my honeymoon. Unless you count an image here or there of me and the ex and those wont work lol.

I take terrible pictures, am horrible at smiling on command and when I do the smile isn' good. My for real smiles are ok, but my say cheese smile is garbage. I've never had that skill, and my overbite doesn't help me at all. So I am more or less just looking to start taking these pictures now so that when I want them I have a decent pool of pictures to work from.

Another concern I have is that if I use any pictures that have me doing scouting activities or show kids in the background I'll end up meeting women who have kids and are just looking for an active father figure and will enter into a relationship with that goal and not really looking someone for them to spend time with. That may have a bit to do with how me and the ex got together. She was lonely, I didn't hit it and quit it when I found out she had a kid, the kiddo loved me, and I loved the kid. I think she just shrugged and said ok I'll play along since he is willing to stay and no one else is. I'm not looking for that disaster again. If I meet someone and there's interest I want it to be their interest in me, not their interest in me with their kid.

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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 03:00 AM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

Don't use any photos with children in them. It's just a bad idea.

If you are going to start dating, you probably would benefit from cultivating some friends and activities that do not involve children. One way to meet new people and find other things to get involved in is to check out the site meetup.com You just enter your zip code and it will come up with meetups in your area. It's not a dating site. People create meetups and post them. then other people join. For example in my area there are hundreds of them. Some that I think are really cool are rough water kayaking, hiking, and off road stuff, and a lot more. You could join some of these activities. And ask people at them to just get photos of you. P
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 05:31 AM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

What @EleGirl said.

I'd add don't add ridiculous extreme sport pictures or travel photos if they are one - off occurrences for you. Do add pictures of things you can do regularly with ease and enjoy. Like a picture from a hiking trail rather than your sky diving picture. But that's just me. I got really sick of most men's profile pictures being from the extreme sports /experience that was post their last breakup.

Oh, and fishing. Don't put fishing pics up unless you want a woman who can either fish with you or is happy to gut it and cook it.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 07:46 AM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

I agree with the Meet Up suggestion, but I would add to stay away from the groups that cater to just singles. Get involved in groups that do the things you enjoy, there will be lots of singles in their activities as well anyhow. If you meet someone from such a group you will at least share one common interest to start with. If nothing else you will get to do something you enjoy. The singles groups tend to attract some truly desperate people (as do OLD sites). That isn't to say you can't meet someone there, just that you will probably have to wade thru the pack to find one. There is a lot of pressure and neediness, so even just something simple like saying hello could lead someone to imagine you are interested.
Now that being said, concerning pics for OLD, actually you don't need a stack of them. Perhaps only one recent photo, maybe up to five in all. In fact too many could be counter productive. Definitely avoid pics with kids in them and if you have animals in your pics make sure you are in the pic as well.

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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

Go out with adult friends and have a good time doing something you enjoy. While you're at it, hand your phone to someone and ask them to take your picture. Do this a few times and you should start to have a decent collection of usable profile pictures. These occasions don't have to be anything elaborate, extreme, or particularly special. Most of my profile pictures were taken at various charity/civic events, a wine night at home with my best friend, and at another friend's birthday party. Your pictures just need to be decent, recent, show you off to good advantage, and represent your real life.

I wouldn't post pictures of your own children, but it's fine to use one or two pictures that incidentally have children in the background. If necessary, you can always blur out their faces, as well as any other identifying information (such as on your uniform or shirt), prior to posting the pictures. But don't just use pictures of you doing kid-related activities. You want to portray yourself as a balanced individual who has both family interests and adult interests, so mix it up a bit.

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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 05:00 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

You just need a few decent pics of you doing stuff you do on a regular basis. If you own a boat, work that in somehow. Definitely do not post pics of yourself playing video games. LOL
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 05:11 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheRocks View Post
You just need a few decent pics of you doing stuff you do on a regular basis. If you own a boat, work that in somehow. Definitely do not post pics of yourself playing video games. LOL


And don't post pics of yourself masturbating, even if you do that on a regular basis.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 05:19 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

^^Solid advice. LOL
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 08:56 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

Meetups are fun! I have a really fun singles group who go out a lot. I wouldn't date any of them but it's not my goal anyway. My other groups are hiking volleyball and food related ones. All great places to meet new friends. Again I haven't met anyone to date but I'm not looking.


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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 04:39 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

I passed over all the shirtless guys. Made me feel like they were probably self absorbed and just looking to screw around.


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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 05:17 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

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I passed over all the shirtless guys. Made me feel like they were probably self absorbed and just looking to screw around.


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Hey, my H (separated, not D) has a shirtless photo on POF. And I still love him?
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 06:10 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

Meetup groups were absolutely instrumental in helping me out of my funk........Highly recommend! One was a dance group at a wine bar. I was often the only man among a group of 13 women. I was never refused a dance and lost some weight 'cause I was a dancing fool......
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 06:54 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

I am pretty sure I look good without a shirt on. It's tempting, but shirtless pics come off as douchey / desperate / shallow. I feel the same way about duckface bikini pics... Pass.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 07:05 PM
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Re: internet dating pictures and activities

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Originally Posted by OnTheRocks View Post
I am pretty sure I look good without a shirt on. It's tempting, but shirtless pics come off as douchey / desperate / shallow. I feel the same way about duckface bikini pics... Pass.


Post pics of yourself in FITTED shirts that don't have excess material.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 04-04-2017, 07:13 PM
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internet dating pictures and activities

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Post pics of yourself in FITTED shirts that don't have excess material.


Meh...or not. Just be confident about who you are inside because that's what is going to matter in the end

ETA: And someone who's awesome will have a very nice gift to open some day


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