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Life After Divorce Divorce is complicated, and change is never easy to cope with. Use this section for help and advice on living life after a divorce.

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Old 01-12-2012, 10:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default For those of you dating again

I'm a long time away from this, even thinking about dating as I'm going through the divorce process my ex initiated. My question is for those of you that are dating are you consciously avoiding dating people that had similiar hair color/features that your ex had so as to not bring up comparison thoughts?
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Old 01-12-2012, 07:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: For those of you dating again

At my age, most guys have white or balding so that's a non-issue, hadn't thought about it. I was thinking more about

1) values
2) personality
3) conflict resolution skills/confidence/esteem/respect
4) shared interests
5) physical compatability

In that order.
I am always amused at the guys I like, and I mean like, not guys I am attracted to because they seem like a challenge (that's different, and I think I have had my fill).
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Old 01-12-2012, 07:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: For those of you dating again

Quote:
Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno View Post
At my age, most guys have white or balding so that's a non-issue, hadn't thought about it. I was thinking more about

1) values
2) personality
3) conflict resolution skills/confidence/esteem/respect
4) shared interests
5) physical compatability

In that order.
I am always amused at the guys I like, and I mean like, not guys I am attracted to because they seem like a challenge (that's different, and I think I have had my fill).


Myself, I'm adding the following;
6. similar education
(my BA didn't mesh well with his dropping out in 11th grade and I've realized that I dumbed myself down for 25 years)
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Old 01-12-2012, 08:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: For those of you dating again

Since the op kind of touched on a more physical aspect of a question, I’ll go with that sort of an answer on this one. I believe it has been more of an unconscious choice that the couple of guys I've dated have thick, full heads of hair and my ex-husband’s standing 2 week hair cut involved a set of hair clippers with no guards (combs) on and sometimes even a razor. The Ex started loosing his hair at an early age, this physical characteristic did not bother me at all. He was still attractive and could sport the same hairstyle just as well as Bruce Willis and Jason Statham do. LOL!!!

The bigger irony is, the guys I’ve dated have been 4 years or more older than my Ex (who was 8 yrs my senior) and still have a thick head of hair. Salt & Pepper look and all.
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Old 01-12-2012, 08:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: For those of you dating again

My GF has a similar build to my STBXwife, but everything else is different. Both physically and personality. And for that, I'm very very happy. . Not that I hate my STBXW, but there's reasons we're not together, you know?

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Old 01-13-2012, 06:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: For those of you dating again

I am avoiding facial hair, which my ex has. Other than that, I'm not really looking at looks, per say. I like Homemaker's list. I have to be somewhat intrigued by how he looks or 'attracted' to him for some reason, but the physical look is not what's important.
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