One thing I'd do different...

Lowlife · 01-29-2012, 12:31 PM

Is to tell the other spouse her husband is a cheating douche bag and that he was screwing my (at the time) wife.

This is the one thing I wish had done and have always felt bad about it. After all, her husband was supposed to my friend and while I didn't know her real well, we did spend time together. Instead, I did what I had to do for me and went my own way without much thought about her and what she must of been going through. I use the excuse I had no way to contact her but I could of jumped in the car and drove the 60 miles to tell her what I knew.

I bring this up because a week ago, she called me. I knew her divorce was final only a few weeks ago. I don't know how she got my number but we've spoken on the phone a couple of times in the last week. I think she wanted some closure on the whole situation and just wanted to know what I knew. She had suspicions but her now x would never admit anything. Even to this day he has never admitted anything and hasn't told her he's even married again. The lies he told her were so long and deep I'm not sure how he sleeps at night. He was married to her for 30+ years. I just can't even begin to comprehend how anyone can do that to someone. Anyway she is fully up to speed and it sounds like she got what she fully deserved from a marriage of that length. I did have to apologize to her for not talking to to her but she said she understood.

I don't know if anyone has been in the same situation but I wish I had said something sooner.

Hell, I hope no one ever has to go through this sort of junk.

Ramble over.....

EleGirl · 01-29-2012, 02:09 PM

My divorce from my ex was final in 1996. I know he cheated with several women. I have bits of evidence from some of the affairs. But no real details. To this day I wish someone would come forward and tell me the truth. It would help me so much. Instead people just kept it quiet. Somehow they thought that they were protecting me.

For example one friend told me that a mutual friend said she was not surprised we divorce.. his car used to be parked down the street as a single woman’s home days on end. My ex was a medical resident. He would tell me that he was working all kinds of hours, not come home for day.

I knew what he was lying. But in those days I did not investigate. Today I would.

I am glad that you finally told her.

Wheels65 · 01-29-2012, 08:03 PM

Just let the guilt go, there is no benefit in woulda, coulda, shoulda and looking back. Just put it all in your rear view mirror and look ahead to the open road and the possibilities ahead