02-03-2012, 05:00 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
| | Re: Well I'm Back
I got my cookbook.
He had written a long email that didn't answer any of the inconsistencies that I was addressing. Quite frankly I had two adjectives for him that described this letter: cold and selfish.
I had no intention of responding and decided that it was a closed chapter so I didn't reply or call.
He knew he had made a mistake when he sent it and called me to back pedal. I'm still playing golf, but that letter pretty much killed the love I had for him.
I am still speaking to him but strangely, for the first time, my needs came first. He was talking for close to 2 hours and finally I told him I need my sleep gotta go. Something I couldn't imagine doing just a day ago.
I had harbored secret feelings that he still loved me but he doesn't. He was too hurt by the last 2 years of that marriage and that's okay because I said I was sorry for the treatment and he apologized a few times about his affair.
However, baby steps and it is really okay today. If it peters out: fine, if it works: fine. I'm rolling with life and still doing what I want and need to do for me. If I meet someone else, great I will take the risk. In the meantime, I play free golf!
Life is good.