Sparkles422

Thought that reconciliation could take place but when I wanted answers to dates and his words that didn't gel, I received a cold, selfish response.

I won't bother to respond. He wants a friendship. I cannot be friends with someone that is that selfish.

But there is a silver lining: I received closure.

Jellybeans

Glad to hear you got closure. I hope you got your recipe book back!

Smart of you to stay away from him if you don't think you can be friends right now.

lovesherman

I'm so glad that you have your answer. You can now move forward with the rest of your life.

Sparkles422

I got my cookbook.

He had written a long email that didn't answer any of the inconsistencies that I was addressing. Quite frankly I had two adjectives for him that described this letter: cold and selfish.
I had no intention of responding and decided that it was a closed chapter so I didn't reply or call.

He knew he had made a mistake when he sent it and called me to back pedal. I'm still playing golf, but that letter pretty much killed the love I had for him.

I am still speaking to him but strangely, for the first time, my needs came first. He was talking for close to 2 hours and finally I told him I need my sleep gotta go. Something I couldn't imagine doing just a day ago.

I had harbored secret feelings that he still loved me but he doesn't. He was too hurt by the last 2 years of that marriage and that's okay because I said I was sorry for the treatment and he apologized a few times about his affair.

However, baby steps and it is really okay today. If it peters out: fine, if it works: fine. I'm rolling with life and still doing what I want and need to do for me. If I meet someone else, great I will take the risk. In the meantime, I play free golf!

Life is good.

Sparkles422

PS: He stated this is reconciliation now he's working on, maybe he was really hurt but so was I.

This is not easy but it's not that hard anymore, either. Maybe because he recognized it's reconciliation and said as much. After all, he was the one that requested a clean slate but too whatever to admit what he meant by it until last night. He's scared of getting hurt too. He's human and I respect his feelings but he is going to have to answer those questions just like I am answering his. It always took him a few days to catch up to me.

Jellybeans

It sounds like he wanted to make amends. Because he now realizes how much damage he caused you.

AWESOME about the cookbooks! You should make something from them this weekend/soon.