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-   -   Found out ex's gf used to be a man (http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/39986-found-out-exs-gf-used-man.html)

glad2bdone 02-13-2012 09:43 PM

Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
Hi--I'm new to this forum. I can't find anyone to talk to who can relate to my exact situation. We were separated for 18 months before our divorce, but his affair had been going on for around 4 or 5 years (whenever I would find signs, he would say it was just emotional, he would stop). He was into cross-dressing (on his own) and I should have suspected that his girlfriend was a transexual, but I didn't until the end. I wasn't going to say anything to our kids, but he told our youngest (11). They all know about the affair, though. The funny thing is, he is well known and respected in our community, and has a high profile job. If anyone knew the complete truth, he would be humiliated (if I told everyone, I would probably end up as one of those murder cases on the ID channel! :) but I wouldn't tell anyone because of our children. Anyways, there's so much more (like his pathological lying), but can anyone relate?

Freak On a Leash 02-13-2012 10:06 PM

Re: Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
That's all too freaky even for me. :scratchhead:

glad2bdone 02-13-2012 10:23 PM

Re: Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
Haha--thanks, Freak, you made me smile--it feels surreal to me sometimes--one day I'll write a best-seller, and won't have to make anything up!:)

EleGirl 02-13-2012 10:36 PM

Re: Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
I can relate to the affair and the pathological lying. But not the cross dressing and transgender stuff.

How was your sex life when you were married? Your husband might be bi-sexual.

Freak On a Leash 02-13-2012 10:54 PM

Re: Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by glad2bdone (Post 588302)
Haha--thanks, Freak, you made me smile--it feels surreal to me sometimes--one day I'll write a best-seller, and won't have to make anything up!:)

I sometimes feel that way about my life but there's nothing like that in it. You got me beat.

As for what I'd do? I'd back away slowly and just be ignorant. If anyone asks I'd know nothing, say nothing, hear nothing. :D

BTW, that GF wouldn't happen to be named "Lola" would she? (reference to an old Kink's song ;) )

glad2bdone 02-13-2012 11:03 PM

Re: Found out ex's gf used to be a man
 
Hi EleGirl, our sex life was normal, I think. Around the age of 40 he started to have trouble keeping it up, but I just thought it was his age. About 8 years before our divorce, I found "Transformation" magazines that he said were given to him (he said that a client worked as a cross-dresser in Hollywood, and said that he had the right features for it also-a big story/lie) I'm cleaning out the garage, and I'm still finding the stupid magazines, hidden. I thought maybe he needed the extra stimulation, although I think it's sickening (even though I have an uncle who's a transvestite-it ruined his family). However, I've since wondered if it broke up his first marriage. I never considered if he was bi-sexual--are you bi-sexual if you have sex with a man who has had surgery to become a woman? I mean, his gf is genetically a man, but, not sure, so confusing!


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