Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I don't wish her harm, or really any "failure" in life...
though, she makes a six figure income, is gorgeous, and men hit on her all the time....right now she is "living the dream" i guess....
Part of me hope she gets real ugly, real fast...loses her job...loses her house (well, our old house we had together) her car...etc...
HOWEVER--- that's just my bitterness...and I wouldn't really wish that upon her....
I do, however, hope she finds someone, and falls madly in love with him, like I was to her....and he burns her, as badly, or worse than she burned me....just so she'll know how it feels. I think she needs that little bit of perspective in life.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I was dumped after 23 years together with no warning. Said he didn't love me anymore!! It doesn't really matter why she left you does it? No answer she gives you would be good enough. She is a different person than she was when you married 20 years ago, and so are you.
You need to move on and be concerned about yourself and not her. Do you think she carries you around in her head like you carry her? This bitterness is only hurting you. And believe me, other women will see this in you. Why not work on being the greenest grass for someone else!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr. blue
My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she doesn’t find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was better than what's out there.
Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to be the greenest grass on the block.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I agree Carol, although I have trouble keeping my head and my heart talking to each other, I don't wish him any harm or to be unlucky in love in the future, I still wish he would wake up and realize what he is missing by ending our marriage. And why would I want that if I wasn't still in love with him.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I don't think that I would I was married to my first wife for 4 yrs and she cheated on me and I divorced her
I was taught that if one of loses the other loses in divorce. I have been married to my 2nd wife for 12 yrs and we have a fantastic marriage and my ex spouse has continued down the same road going from relationship to relationship the only common denominator I see is her she hasn't learned anything from her action as the saying goes nothing changes nothing changes Posted via Mobile Device
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I don't wish her long term failure, however since I treated her so good and she treated me as disposable, as long as it doesn't affect the kids I would like the next guy(s) that she is with to treat her like crap, I want them to be *********s to her. I always made sure she came first (even in the bedroom). So if she is acting all vain, self centered, just out there with her rocking body, I want some guy to treat her like just a piece of a**, nothing more.
She doesn't deserve a great guy like me right now.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I don't wish her failure or success. I want the guy to have the same situation I did. She refused to live without her mother in our arrangement. Yes, we married young, but I was apparently ready for it, she wasn't. She supposedly is in therapy for her "intimacy issues" which is kind of a stab in the heart considering she said no to any form the entire relationship and marriage. Call me controlling, call me an a**hole, call me depressed, I know why I was all these things. Communication is important. Good luck with the next one... our girls better not pay for it.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
My ex dumped in a terrible manner, but I still pray for him and his well being. He still has my SD with him and I pray that she gets everything she needs for a successful life. But he is a dog azz mofo who I am learning is a semi classic sociopath. But he got good in him, just not with me. Plus, if that bus woulda hit him, everything would have been terrible.....I kid...I pray for the best of us all...the leavers and the leavees.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by In_The_Wind
I don't think that I would I was married to my first wife for 4 yrs and she cheated on me and I divorced her
I was taught that if one of loses the other loses in divorce. I have been married to my 2nd wife for 12 yrs and we have a fantastic marriage and my ex spouse has continued down the same road going from relationship to relationship the only common denominator I see is her she hasn't learned anything from her action as the saying goes nothing changes nothing changes Posted via Mobile Device
But you cheated, too, didnt you? (I think i remember the motorcycle avatar)
So your ex went down one path, but you did too.
We all have stuff to work out, and its kind of weird you guys did the same thing to your spouses yet you hold what she did against her.
Nothing personal against you, but I generally have a problem with the pot calling the kettle back. just sayin.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraF
Commitment is a choice but love really isnt. You love who you love, and if its real it can last. its not something you have to work on, you just love them.
if the love is gone, entirely gone, then staying with someone is only a preservance of the status quo.
Thats my romantic notion anyways.
And I dont wish any of my X's failure. They will have the same ups and downs as anybody else, with or without my watchful eye
IMO: I think it is a romantic notion and Nicholas sparks capitalizes well on that.
Human beings get a dopamine rush the first 18-36 months of marriage at which point it comes back down to normal levels. At this point people make a choice to love someone as the chemical high is over. The 3 Year mark is high for divorce in couples with no kids.
The Commitment to loving someone through good and bad times is what will make a marriage last a lifetime.
Imo The "If its real" is the dopamine high your referring to. The "honeymoon phase" Nicholas sparks fantasy...Hence the divorce rate.
I don't need to wish my ex failure as its already in motion.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryin
IMO: I think it is a romantic notion and Nicholas sparks capitalizes well on that.
Human beings get a dopamine rush the first 18-36 months of marriage at which point it comes back down to normal levels. At this point people make a choice to love someone as the chemical high is over. The 3 Year mark is high for divorce in couples with no kids.
The Commitment to loving someone through good and bad times is what will make a marriage last a lifetime.
Imo The "If its real" is the dopamine high your referring to. The "honeymoon phase" Nicholas sparks fantasy...Hence the divorce rate.
I don't need to wish my ex failure as its already in motion.
I was married for 7 years. THeres no romance left, no romantic notion.
Do i think love can be worked on, created, synthsized? The older I get, the less I think so.
You either love someone, or you dont. I stand by that. Its not a romantic notion, its just how it always happened for me. For many i know. and I am not referring to a dopamine high. I mean deep, warm, calm love, the thing you feel for someone you have known for a long time.
We're hijacking this thread thanks to me so if you want to talk about this, we should probably start a new one.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraF
I was married for 7 years. THeres no romance left, no romantic notion.
Do i think love can be worked on, created, synthsized? The older I get, the less I think so.
You either love someone, or you dont. I stand by that. Its not a romantic notion, its just how it always happened for me. For many i know. and I am not referring to a dopamine high. I mean deep, warm, calm love, the thing you feel for someone you have known for a long time.
We're hijacking this thread thanks to me so if you want to talk about this, we should probably start a new one.
I was married for 7 years too. Did you love your ex when you got married?
You said " its just how it always happened for me" so by that you mean its happened more than once ?
The "romance" that you had in the beginning of your relationship was blown out of proportion by the chemical high you were experiencing, and it will happen in the next relationship. "love drunk" if you will.
One day that "calm warm love" will need to be chosen & commitment to sustain.
Im taking a huge guess but do you have kids? 7 years sounds right.
54Likes
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure? 
