Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by proudwidaddy
I used to wish my wife failure, but if she is miserable then my kids will not be happy.
I've heard the best revenge is to live an amazing life, let them see you happy. That's what I'm trying to do now.
Yes! And as much as I think I'll settle for someone less, there is a possibility I'll find someone even more. Better looking, wealthier, more stable, etc.
Then..............a big FU!!
For all of the hurt, pain, etc. that I had to endure. Wishing, hoping, waiting.
Expressing all of my thoughts. Communicating all of my needs, wants, desires. Changing, etc. All of it unreciprocated.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr. blue
My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she doesn’t find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was better than what's out there.
Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to be the greenest grass on the block.
Most definitely !!! I hope that one day (even if it's 4 years from now) he'll realize I haven't been all that bad !!!
Right now it seems his new girlfriend is "quite a catch" (sarcasm) and I'm happy about that, but if he ever will realize she's no good for him....who knows
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
I watched my mother waste her life waiting for her cheating ex-husband to return to her. Any of you who are suffering from the same thing need to give more consideration to YOURSELF.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryin
imo: people who leave a marriage "cause they're not in love anymore or not happy" are already on a path of self destruction anyway. Their lives are usually full of damage that they cause to others. They don't love themselves and aren't capable of loving anyone else. Its especially apparent if kids are involved.
The other person will not make them happy and will dump them on their arse at some point. We make ourselves happy as individuals. IMO the key to that is really being grateful for what you already have in your life.
But these types of people are self entitled and sociopathic in nature. They're not grateful for anything or anyone. (even their own children..they will say "the kids will be fine" or "the kids will be ok" They justify the harm that they cause to others with self entitled nonsense.
They won't find an "upgrade" because there is no such thing. That "upgrade" will have a whole new set of issues and problems. Those issues and problems will cause that "new" relationship to fail. when the chemical high wears off and commitment and real work are needed in the relationship.
people "fall in love" but commitment is what makes a marriage.
Love is a choice........people choose to love and be committed to a person and family.
If you have been "dumped" divorced by your ex spouse, they have chosen not to love you.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
There are times where I want for her to hit a deer while on her way to the city. But there are times where I do wish her the best of luck. I am feeling a love/hate situation brewing and I am trying my best to not to let the hate come through.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by remmons
There are times where I want for her to hit a deer while on her way to the city. But there are times where I do wish her the best of luck. I am feeling a love/hate situation brewing and I am trying my best to not to let the hate come through.
I saw where your exw was engaged 2 mos after the D. Sounds like my exw, but she moved him into the house with my kids. She is on her way to a 4th marriage.
After telling my therapist my exw's background and her past, he has point blank told me she has a psychological- personality disorder. Said that failure is imminent for her so I don't need to wish it. It's like watching a super slow motion train wreck from my end. The only problem is that more damage will be inflicted upon my kids due to her screwed up head.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryin
I saw where your exw was engaged 2 mos after the D. Sounds like my exw, but she moved him into the house with my kids. She is on her way to a 4th marriage.
After telling my therapist my exw's background and her past, he has point blank told me she has a psychological- personality disorder. Said that failure is imminent for her so I don't need to wish it. It's like watching a super slow motion train wreck from my end. The only problem is that more damage will be inflicted upon my kids due to her screwed up head.
If I had posted that she was engaged two months after our divorce, please accept my apologies for the misinformation. My X had posted on FB that she was engaged two months before our divorce was final. Even with a no-contact order in place, she had came up to my place of employment, twice, to get me to sign the divorce papers. I wanted to be sure that we both were getting a fair share of everything, including visitations with my daughter, before I signed the papers. I never knew what her urgency was until long after the divorce was final. To rub salt into my wound she was engaged the day after my birthday.
I have been told by a couple of her family members that she was on the path of self-destruction, and that she will never have green grass on her side of the fence. I have been told by "others" (I won't say who, but they are professionals in their field of training and expertise) that she has a psychological- personality disorder as well, but not in the same words as described here. So with this in mind, why would I want a train wreck back? Maybe I am asking for punishment to stay connected? Maybe her family thinks that I can turn her life around? Maybe I think that I can finally turn her life around? maybe there are so many good memories that I am not willing to rewrite yet? Maybe I only want to be involved with our child's life? Who knows? For what ever the reason, I am not quite prepared to let go due to that there was no closure and that the healing process is still on-going.
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by remmons
If I had posted that she was engaged two months after our divorce, please accept my apologies for the misinformation. My X had posted on FB that she was engaged two months before our divorce was final. Even with a no-contact order in place, she had came up to my place of employment, twice, to get me to sign the divorce papers. I wanted to be sure that we both were getting a fair share of everything, including visitations with my daughter, before I signed the papers. I never knew what her urgency was until long after the divorce was final. To rub salt into my wound she was engaged the day after my birthday.
I have been told by a couple of her family members that she was on the path of self-destruction, and that she will never have green grass on her side of the fence. I have been told by "others" (I won't say who, but they are professionals in their field of training and expertise) that she has a psychological- personality disorder as well, but not in the same words as described here. So with this in mind, why would I want a train wreck back? Maybe I am asking for punishment to stay connected? Maybe her family thinks that I can turn her life around? Maybe I think that I can finally turn her life around? maybe there are so many good memories that I am not willing to rewrite yet? Maybe I only want to be involved with our child's life? Who knows? For what ever the reason, I am not quite prepared to let go due to that there was no closure and that the healing process is still on-going.
Just be aware that sometimes you have to make your own "closure."
And - if you have a daughter together - well - I'm still trying to figure that one out some days myself...
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryin
imo: people who leave a marriage "cause they're not in love anymore or not happy" are already on a path of self destruction anyway. Their lives are usually full of damage that they cause to others. They don't love themselves and aren't capable of loving anyone else. Its especially apparent if kids are involved.
The other person will not make them happy and will dump them on their arse at some point. We make ourselves happy as individuals. IMO the key to that is really being grateful for what you already have in your life.
But these types of people are self entitled and sociopathic in nature. They're not grateful for anything or anyone. (even their own children..they will say "the kids will be fine" or "the kids will be ok" They justify the harm that they cause to others with self entitled nonsense.
They won't find an "upgrade" because there is no such thing. That "upgrade" will have a whole new set of issues and problems. Those issues and problems will cause that "new" relationship to fail. when the chemical high wears off and commitment and real work are needed in the relationship.
people "fall in love" but commitment is what makes a marriage.
Love is a choice........people choose to love and be committed to a person and family.
If you have been "dumped" divorced by your ex spouse, they have chosen not to love you.
Cryin - This piece describes my situation perfectly. You have no idea how brilliant this writing is, and how much better I feel about myself just having read it. THANK YOU!!!
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?
Well, I will never look back and care what happens to her or to her children (we do not have children together). Do I wish her luck? No ... Do I wish her anything bad happening (sickness, accident)? No
But I believe she will gets what she deserves (in a negative way), and I even do not have to do anything. In 5-10 years her surface beauty will be gone, and she cannot lure anymore men into her life to suck their money out. That's when she will be in a hole, and not come out of it ever again. Meanwhile, I will sit on my deck on the ocean and posting sundown pictures on facebook
54Likes
Re: If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure? 
