My ex asked me if I could start helping paying for school lunches this morning. She was having some expense troubles.
I refused and told her I thought that was covered in the monthly support payments. I said I was not going to sign up for additional monies on a regular basis but did not want our two kids to not eat because she couldn't afford to give them money. If she was short in the future please let me know.
BTW she receives over $1,200/month in support if that makes a difference in your minds.
My standard reply in this situation would be, I will be happy to provide them lunches at school. When should I pick them up and expect your first child support payment?
I have the girls though, and I take no support from their mother. So I am a bit jaded at times I guess
My husband's ex is constantly trying to get more money from him, on top of the 1500 child support, and 500 for education savings plans. I'm fed up. When is enough enough?
Good for you OP, telling her no. Sometimes, it's like they think it's a bottomless pit!
If she qualifies for free or reduced lunch make sure she has applied for that. If she has little income beyond the child support, I would go ahead and pay, but my experience is that schools never let a child go without lunch, even if the parents aren't paying. This is the policy in my district anyway. They even have free breakfast for all students here.
You pay a fair amount. I only asked for $200 a month and my ex tried to have it modified on several occasions through out the years. Then he tried telling my daughter that I take all his money. It's not my fault he works bare minimum and his wife works 2 jobs. I paid for everything when we were together. His current wife is in the same situation I was in, except she chooses to stay.
1,200 a month is fair price. I would not give any more, your not entitled to. You can buy your children clothing, shoes and toys/electronics.
Most of us are in rough times right now. Everything is expensive. I never modified child support, although I should have. He shut her out of that family a few years ago. He doesn't allow my daughter to have any contact with her siblings. It's sad he won't allow contact with her siblings. Children are very expensive, especially when they start to drive. They need gas money, insurance, ect... My child support ends soon, since my daughter is nearly 18. She's planning on joining the National Guard. We are very proud of her!
$1200 is quite a large amount. I would think she could budget for the kids' lunches on that, especially if she works as well. If she is really having money troubles, there are reduced/free lunch programs at schools for people who really can't afford them. I know when/if I divorce I won't get a red dime from the kids' dad (he has refused to work for the past 5 years and is generally lazy) so I would consider her lucky.
My mom received only $75 per month from my dad from the time they divorced when I was 2 until I turned 18. She did it ALL on her own - go strong women! That's not to say custodial parents (male or female) shouldn't get support, of course. I'm just jaded, too, having been raised by a single mom who worked her tail off to make sure I had all I needed and most of what I wanted and now living with a deadbeat who I know will never provide for his kids.
I don't think I'll get anywhere near $600 for my son. As it is, lunches at his school are much more expensive than brown-bagging it, so that's what my son has always done (plus until this year, he never went to a school with a lunch program, so he's been used to it). It's a great way to get him used to more responsibility & chores, too. Oddly enough, STBXH usually buys hot lunch for our son when he has him, so apparently the money aspect isn't too big of a deal for him. (I also don't understand how he doesn't have the time to make a simple pb&j in the morning, but that's another issue... ) I'm just kind of glad that I've had the practice of making a family budget work on not a lot of money. Single-parenthood will be less of a shock for me than it will for him. I agree that your ex may want to try doing some budget changes before asking for more money, but as an adult child of divorced parents, I confess I also have kind of a knee-jerk reaction to hearing 'my wife is always asking for more child support.' I'm realizing that award amounts are not at all standard, so some guys barely pay $80/mo where I live, and you're paying $600! I doubt there's that much difference in cost of living!
Everything is relative... I'm paying about 2000 right now. Child support up here is table driven, based on income. Not a lot of wiggle room. That covers everything but "exceptional" expenses.
Children are very expensive, especially when they start to drive. They need gas money, insurance, ect... My child support ends soon, since my daughter is nearly 18. She's planning on joining the National Guard. We are very proud of her!
You are a nice mom! I had to get a part time job to pay for car insurance and gas I liked that though.
I think anyone who actually GETS child support should consider themselves lucky. My ex owes me over $65,000.00 in arrears right now. We split when my youngest was 4 months old and he has done SQUAT for any of my kids over the years - she's 18 now. Claims he hasn't been able to work because of a bad back. Yeah right. Working under the table is more like it.
For three kids, he was supposed to pay $541.00 per month. What a joke that was anyway. I was much happier assuming I would never get anything. Then the odd time I did it was all extra money
Thanks for replies. I'm glad I told her no but since it involves the kids I want to be careful. I know I don't have control over what is said or done at her house but I'd like to keep the impact on the kids to a minimum whenever possible.
I have made it a point to not ask her how she spends her money because I think it is an allocation issue. Once the money hits her checking account it is difficult to determine which money is spent on what. She works fuul time and gets a steady amount of money every two weeks from there. So that is a bees hive I just assume avoid if I can.
I didn't intend for this to move into a question about how she spends the support money but just wondered if anyone thought lunch money fell outside child support. I think the majority right now would say that support does cover lunch money. Heck if she made them they could pack a lunch. Now where would the money go if I started paying for school lunch and they packed?
I will ask/point her in the direction of supplemental support revolving around the lunches if she continues to push the issue. Basically I'm surprised she asked in the first place.
I think anyone who actually GETS child support should consider themselves lucky. My ex owes me over $65,000.00 in arrears right now. We split when my youngest was 4 months old and he has done SQUAT for any of my kids over the years - she's 18 now. Claims he hasn't been able to work because of a bad back. Yeah right. Working under the table is more like it.
For three kids, he was supposed to pay $541.00 per month. What a joke that was anyway. I was much happier assuming I would never get anything. Then the odd time I did it was all extra money
Same here. In fact, my ex, quit his job when we split, so that I couldn't 'go after him'. I would have had to chase him from here to tinbucktwo to get a dime. I couldn't afford a lawyer, yet made too much money to qualify for any type of legal aid...go figure! I made it on my own in the end.
Now that I'm married to H, the equivalent of my whole salary goes to his child support. A sore sujbect in our house at the moment...
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Straw poll/opinion around child support 
) I'm just kind of glad that I've had the practice of making a family budget work on not a lot of money. Single-parenthood will be less of a shock for me than it will for him. I agree that your ex may want to try doing some budget changes before asking for more money, but as an adult child of divorced parents, I confess I also have kind of a knee-jerk reaction to hearing 'my wife is always asking for more child support.' I'm realizing that award amounts are not at all standard, so some guys barely pay $80/mo where I live, and you're paying $600! I doubt there's that much difference in cost of living! 
